Support for Women who are TTC or Pregnant Following a Termination for Abnormalities- Thread 8

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities (tmfr). Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

@Balajake so lovely to hear from you, I’ve been thinking of you. How are you feeling? x

@No1worrier did you ever get a negative pg test after your loss. Looking at that OPK and the fact your loss was less than a month ago at >20w (sorry if that's wrong) I would gently suggest that maybe your HCG level hasn't dropped yet. OPKs pick up HCG also and they're not usually such dye stealers at ovulation. Might be worth double checking on a pg test?
Hope your cycle settles down soon and you can start trying when you feel ready.

I am starting to think another child is not meant for us and that'll we'll move on with life as a family of 3. Last pg I was bleeding from 6 weeks, then TFMR and subsequent ERPC, and I honestly don't think I can't cope with the anxiety of another pg. Also TTC is taking time and attention away from my DD 😕

@sickofthisyear

Thank you for your reply, yes it will be 4 weeks on Thursday since my loss and I was nearly 23 weeks. I done a pg test along with an OPK on the 27th March, both negative. I have attached the picture. I just assumed they got everything out when they done the d&c immediately after my daughter was born and it was a good sign?

I have held off now anyway, and waiting my first AF. If it arrives in 2 weeks then I know what's happening and we will ttc in May 🤞🏼🌈.

Sorry you are feeling that way, I am also very anxious about everything. Anxious about not being able to get pregnant then also anxious about being pregnant and something going wrong! This was my first and only pregnancy so we will continue for our rainbow. What age are you if you don't mind me asking?xx

Ah that's definitely negative. Mine took ages to drop even after ERPC.
I'm 40 now. My risk of another chromosomal issue is (slightly) higher and the potential age gap with my daughter (7) is getting bigger every month. We were lucky to conceive within 3 months for both my pregnancies and we've tried 3 cycles now and I just don't think I can stay optimistic about our chances. I'm also not sure it's right for our family tbh and am worried about being an 'older parent'. There are many positives to staying at 1 child and I'm trying to embrace them and not worry about 'what if'. I am also still just so angry and sad about what happened and that may be driving my TTC rather than actually still wanting another child. I just WISH we'd tried 5 yrs ago.

@Mummabear40 @BloodyHellAudrey @No1worrier

Thank you for the well wishes. I am still getting positive tests. No bleeding or pain so
I think all
Is ok. Do you know when I could
Reasonably ask to
Be scanned?

@Balajake lovely to see you back again.x

@CorkViaDublin 8 weeks is probably a good time to ask for, that's when I had my reassurance scan. I think they can be done from 6 weeks but don't quote me on that x

@CorkViaDublin great news, I had my reassurance scan at 7 weeks 😊

@CorkViaDublin that’s great news, my FMU said they can’t do a early reassurance scan as it doesn’t affect the progression of pregnancy and because of Covid. They are instead offering early anomaly reassurance scan at 16 weeks.
@Balajake good to see you back!
@sickofthisyear I’m 40 too and I like you wish I had tried 5 years ago!
@No1worrier great to see your ovulation is back and I think you made a good decision to wait for AF. All the best for TTC!
I’m now feeling anxious about my early anomaly scan which is not until 3 weeks now. I’m really hoping everything goes well!

@sickofthisyear

Ah that's definitely negative. Mine took ages to drop even after ERPC. I'm 40 now. My risk of another chromosomal issue is (slightly) higher and the potential age gap with my daughter (7) is getting bigger every month. We were lucky to conceive within 3 months for both my pregnancies and we've tried 3 cycles now and I just don't think I can stay optimistic about our chances. I'm also not sure it's right for our family tbh and am worried about being an 'older parent'. There are many positives to staying at 1 child and I'm trying to embrace them and not worry about 'what if'. I am also still just so angry and sad about what happened and that may be driving my TTC rather than actually still wanting another child. I just WISH we'd tried 5 yrs ago.

Hope you are feeling a bit better today. Don't give up hope yet. 3 cycles isn't too long, you can do this ❤ x

[quote Alice40p]@CorkViaDublin that’s great news, my FMU said they can’t do a early reassurance scan as it doesn’t affect the progression of pregnancy and because of Covid. They are instead offering early anomaly reassurance scan at 16 weeks.
@Balajake good to see you back!
@sickofthisyear I’m 40 too and I like you wish I had tried 5 years ago!
@No1worrier great to see your ovulation is back and I think you made a good decision to wait for AF. All the best for TTC!
I’m now feeling anxious about my early anomaly scan which is not until 3 weeks now. I’m really hoping everything goes well![/quote]
Oh it was really hard I tell you that but I feel alot better today now I know ovulation has passed. There is nothing I can do about it now and that feels good. I hated the feeling of I could if I wanted to but should I? Now just waiting for the dreaded AF turning up. First one in 6/7 months!..

Can I ask you all what your first AF was like after your loss? I'm nervous about it being really heavy/sore on top of the emotional side of things...

Alice I hope everything is going well with you, is this early anomaly scan done at 16 weeks?x

@No1worrier yes, from 16 weeks. My first AF was very different from ones before tfmr. It was heavy but started off with just spotting for couple of days. It seems this is normal ! You will feel better once you have had it though! I felt lot better after first AF as it meant I could TTC again.

By the way, have any of the pregnant ladies had their Covid vaccination?

@Alice40p I've been offered mine. Got my antenatal hospital appointment tomorrow when I'll double check if I can override the GP and actually book it. I'll try and get my whooping cough tomorrow and book Covid for 2 weeks x

@Alice40p I was told not allowed Covid vaccine at my last appointment and that it wasn’t being offered to pregnant woman, I asked when I had my 20 week scan and whooping cough and flu vaccine.

@Balajake welcome back. I was wondering how you were getting on.

@CorkViaDublin With my two pregnancies I had viability Scans at 6+3 and both times saw a heartbeat. This pregnancy it's booked for 6+5, Friday next week.

@Alice40p not been offered mine yet and definitely won't have it in the first trimester but I really hope I can have it around 20 weeks.

Just met the consultant. He's continuing to treat me like a normal 2nd pregnancy. Meeting again at 36 weeks for another scan and to discuss birth options. I've already told him I'm really reluctant to go any more than a week overdue. I'm so undecided as how I want it to go though, the dream is the spontaneous, on time, natural VBAC but I'm fully aware that might not happen.x

@Kiki275 that’s great that your pregnancy will from now on be treated as normal pregnancy! Mine is going to be consultant lead and high risk till end because of my GD and other complications I had in previous pregnancy. I really want a vaginal birth but this time I’m thinking elective C-section might make it more safe. Have you been discharged from FMU?

@Alice40p I wasn't under FMU as my TFMR wasn't genetic related, just really unlucky. I still am high-risk so I've little to no chance of the MW-led ward delivery. I didn't enjoy my EMCS recovery so trying to avoid an ELCS unless consultant deems it the safest option or Im going overdue. He wasn't a fan of inducing after a previous failed induction so who knows.
I'll be more prepared this time and might try colostrum harvesting this time so I don't end up with the stress of milk coming in late. Will consider asking for a sweep at 38 weeks onwards too. So much to consider 🤯 x

Oh dear! Did you have EMCS with DS? Yes, a lot to think about!

Hey all. Thank you so much- I don’t know wh I don’t get notified of replies

I am getting my reassurance scan next Wednesday so in 9 days. By then I’ll be 6+4. So fingers crossed

That’s great! How is everyone doing? I’m ok but would feel better when I have had my 16-17 weeks reassurance scan!

@CorkViaDublin that’s great news.

@Alice40p hope you’re doing ok? It feels like forever waiting for the scans doesn’t it. I’m 24 weeks today and baby boy is very active! I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying by now! I feel fine other than tired.

@Mummabear40 glad the weeks are flying for you after 20 weeks!

Scanxiety is horrendous! I'm slightly pleased I don't have any more so there's nothing to worry about until baby starts to arrive in the world. Time has sped up since spring arrived but August seems sooooo far away.

@CorkViaDublin keeping everything crossed for you xx

Hi again everyone, I went for a reassurance scan on Saturday. She found what she thought was the remains of either a vanishing twin or implantation bleed so I had to go back on Tuesday for a follow up. There was one heart beat and the baby is measuring almost where I expected it to be. Hopefully it won't affect the NIPT if it is a vanishing twin.

Can I ask, those of you who have had early scans, what was the foetal heart rate? At 6w2d mine was measuring 115bpm then 6w5d it was 117bpm, which the doctor was happy with but I've since read it should be above 120 after 6w3d and should increase by 3 beats per day.