Support for Women who are TTC or Pregnant Following a Termination for Abnormalities- Thread 8

[Alittlexmasmagic]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities (tmfr). Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

[MamaBearBoo]

I haven't listed on here for a egildcrither but you were with me thru my CVS journeys I I agree with @mummabear42 -due dates are still hard but time does help heal -the due date for my first TFMR for my first little boy was 29th June 2018 -it's the day before my wedding anniversary so I remember the date it's been 4 years the pain is duller each year the EDD for my second son and TFMR is close to another memorable date too that was 2.5 years ago we got pregnant with our rainbow that same month as we don't try til the EDD had passed she is now almost 2 and keeps me very busy -I was devastated having lost 2 boys but my little rainbow makes it easier! Don't lose hope baby dust to you all!

[HoneyPea]

Thank you for thinking of me @MamaOh @Dowisetrepla we leave tomorrow. Haven't had any proper bleeding since Monday, just spotting occasionally. Still not feeling very hopeful but we will see in a week or so (midwife has said to wait and just do another test next week!)
Hope you are both ok?

[HoneyPea]

@MamaOh Only 5weeks today. I presume if I still get a positive test next week she will send me to EPU but only guessing x

[HoneyPea]

@MamaOh Did a test last night and it was negative 😢
Have had an appointment come through with the consultant for a postnatal counseling session to discuss findings from my Feb TFMR. We didn't ask for a postmortem so not sure what it will be x

[Dowisetrepla]

Oh @HoneyPea my heart breaks for you. I am forever amazed by what women are expected to go through (and recover from) while our partners watch on, helpless. It’s all just too cruel and so hard to bear. I know it doesn’t do anything to help but please know I’m holding you in my thoughts this weekend 💜

[Dowisetrepla]

Sad news from me. We went for our NIPT today. They did a quick scan first and the baby was measuring more than two weeks behind with no visible heartbeat. They were measuring at 8 weeks so if there was a heartbeat there it would have been detectable. Absolutely heartbroken. We have a scan at the hospital on Thursday then I guess we’ll discuss management. I just don’t want to do this again.

[Dowisetrepla]

Thank you @MamaOh. As the scan was private they’ve referred me to the EPU so I’m going there on Thursday to find out next steps, but I’m not expecting any investigations. We’ll see what they say.

I could see the second the picture flickered up on screen, it was too still and the baby was too small and unformed. It feels like a bad dream.

I truly don’t know what’s next for us, we had said before this that we only had it in us to try one more time. I know we don’t need to decide anything right now but that’s going to be a big conversation in the coming weeks I think.

[HoneyPea]

@Dowisetrepla Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear your news 😢 I can understand your heartbreak and the thought of having to find out your next steps. You are right you do not have to decide what to do at the moment. I think when the time comes you will know if you have it in you to try again or not X
I'm in a bit of limbo right now. I went for my appointment at the hospital and they said that if we were to try again we would be low risk but that for our piece of mind they would scan me at 8weeks and I could have a NIPT as soon as possible which was good. They have said the bleeding I had does not sound like a miscarriage and that because I still have symptoms I could have had a false negative. I have to do a test on Friday and let them know the outcome. If it's positive they will book me a scan and NIPT and if it's negative they might want to scan to look to see if its ectopic 😕 Feeling very confused as I had completely decided it was over and now it just seems to be being dragged out! X

[HoneyPea]

@MamaOh No good news here I'm afraid. Took another test and it was negative. Consultant said she spoke to EPU and they said that having 2 neg tests in a row mean that it just have been a miscarriage 😕
Has your referral to the clinic been sorted yet?
@Dowisetrepla How are you doing? X

[HoneyPea]

@MamaOh How is it going? Has the progesterone helped so far?
I think I'm about to start my first period since the mc. Feeling really sick and crampy so hoping is not going to be too bad but worried it might be as the mc was only 2 days of medium bleeding with no pain 😕 x

[ArrrMeHearties]

Tonight I have got the shock of my life with a positive test I cannot believe it. I'm excited yet terrified after what happened to ds last time. I can't bear to go through another tmfr again especially not a hlhs related one. I'm praying that everything is okay this time. I was in the middle of planning my wedding for March as well... dunno how that one is going to play out now but haha

[HoneyPea]

@ArrrMeHearties congratulations. Wedding planning is so exciting.
I'm probably very close to you as got a positive this month too (5+3 today) It's so scary thinking it may all happen again isn't it!

[Balajake]

Don't know if anyone remembers me but I had a TFMR March 2020 for Edwards syndrome. Then I had a miscarriage about 8 months later at 8 weeks on Christmas Eve of all days. After that I had a few chemical pregnancies so I really didn't come on too much as it's hard to do when you keep feeling it slip away. I'm nearly 43 (end of Feb) so you wonder if your time is up on the fertility front but as we never stopped trying the chance was always there as long as I ovulated still.
So again with trepidation I embark on my 10th pregnancy (4 children total)

I only had a positive test 3 days ago at 9dpo. Woke up that same night with mild cramping and an implantation bleed. I'm 11dpo now and I know at my age and with my history it could all go horribly wrong at any moment. It could fade away in a few days, a few weeks, or at the dating scan. But for now I just want to stay in this little love bubble. I love pregnancy, all the bad bits along with the good, I just love it. But Im not telling anyone except you guys. Maybe even past the dating scan, if we get that far. Anyway I just want someone to know in here because you all understand. ❤️

[Dowisetrepla]

@Balajake wow, congratulations and I can imagine the absolute rollercoaster of emotions you’re on. I weirdly have a very similar history to you. One living child conceived easily in 2018 but then an Edwards TFMR in Nov 2021 and a MMC at 8 weeks over the summer. I’m still trying and know now that I’ll never feel uncomplicated joy at a BFP again. Sending love, good vibes, sticky bean energy and everything else. I hope you have the time and energy to care for yourself and give yourself what you need in the coming weeks 💖 Have you any symptoms yet? When will you register with the midwife?

[Balajake]

Hi, I'm so very sorry for what you've been through. My own thread is here somewhere from the minute I had my scan to the CVS to the termination. It was hell, then desperately trying to get pregnant again only for it to take ages then end in tears all over again. It certainly is a rollercoaster and not a good one.

I'm 11dpo and today my boobs are tingling like crazy. I can only liken it to when your boobs full up with milk after you've fed baby or pumped milk. It's a really strong constant feeling. On around 6dpo I had very achy boobs so I kind of had a weird feeling I might get pregnant this cycle. I'd actually stopped doing opks as I'd run out and couldn't be bothered buying more but I do get pain when I ovulate so we BD'd day 14, 15 and 16. I had slight ov cramping on day 14 then stronger on 16 so I think I ovulated on CD16.
The

[Balajake]

Oops hit send before I'd finished.
The only thing I've done differently this month is started taking 75mg aspirin before bed with my prescribed 5mg folic acid. I started on first day of my period and I'm still taking it now.

[Dowisetrepla]

Hopefully that aspirin was the magic touch! With my first pregnancy I knew early on as I had that exact sensation in my boobs, I could feel it coming.

I’m in my TWW right now and feeling super tired and hormonal the last couple of days so obviously going back and forth in my mind about whether it’s pregnancy or PMS! I ovulate quite late, about day 20, and usually get my period by day 29 or 30 latest, so I’m lucky I only have to wait ten days ish before my period rocks up and it’s a bit easier to avoid the obsessive testing.