Pkease come with your sugestions to MN for a new forum for us. A gentle discusion on where we can ask to go...

[misty0]

After the stress caused by a debate raised on termination in the middle of what was being used as a support forum - i feel we should ask Mumsnet for a new place for ladies to go to support each other following termination. Without discussion and debate of ethics or morals likely to cause distress.

I would like this thread to be nonconfrontational - i am just reaching out for ideas for a new place for us and how best to name it?

I agree we need a 'safe' place to go to recover or find support during a very difficult time. Will get my thinking cap on and come back with some name places.

Great idea Misty xx

Second that - sorry, I was a bit slow!

Will try to come up with some names too, though I'm not the most inspired at things like this.

Big hugs xxx

In "Body and Soul" there is a 'pregnancy loss and miscariage' forum.

Perhaps MN could add 'Support and coping with termination'? I'm fumbling a bit here with words ...

Could I suggest that under talk topics, Becoming a parent, there should be a section for End of pregnancy.

I notice under Body and Soul there is a section for coping after miscarriage/loss, however as the decision to terminate is an antenatal decision and not something that occurs, I feel this should still come under Becoming a Parent.

In that section we could move the threads for supporting those choosing to terminate pregnancy for whatever reason, and also to support those who are trying to conceive after termination.

This way the only visitors to this section would be those who are in need of support and comfort and will no doubt be directed to the thread by those lurking on the AT/C section to offer advice and support.

x-post with you misty - obviously on the same thought process here

Yes - i see your point natz, i thought that too. I sadly slipped over from pregnancy to results and feel there should then be a haven in the same 'area' - a forum your used to seeing as it is in the becoming a parent bit.

This is tricky isnt it? But its better than all that arguing ......

What topic did Riven post her long thread in, the one that had a title something like "Why are people so afraid of having a disabled baby?", or something like that? I can't find it now, was it in Chat, too?

Sounds good to me too; like both of your ideas for names, which is good as I can't think of anything. Was concerned about using the word 'termination' as it might flag us up to the curious/ intolerant brigade but the 'Support and Coping....' should make the intent of the area obvious.

This is difficult, so much to consider! xxx

Just bumping this thread to keep attention. Should we report this suggestion to MNHQ?

Agreeing with you all and please suggest to MNHQ. What a horrible thread to come up against when in the throes of all the awfulness.

Have reported this thread to MNHQ, hopefully they will post on here to let us know if they can do this x

IIRC the names of a few sections were changed to be inclusive of termination of pregnancy.

Thank you natz xxx and everyone xxx lets keep this rolling.

I only had one disruption free day on the termination support thread started origanaly by coffeeandchoc and it had been so usefull and comforting already. A dedicated forum would be so valuable - some good could come out of all this stress in the end?

Every cloud as they say misty0.

Heck what a night, I'm hear as I'm trying to resist the urge to post again on that thread! It's like banging your head against a brick wall yet I get so cross the next thing I know I'm typing a response.

At least we all have each other and I think the way we have all put on a united front is something we should be proud of! Let's not lose sight of the fact we will always come across these arrogant so-and-so's and these types of threads simply bring them all out of the woodwork.....

Here we have woman who understand, empathise and are kind enough to support each other through some very dark periods. If anything this thread has highlighted the true extent of the support network that has been created here.

I feel lucky to have found you all xx

I also keep making grammar makes in my posts! Off for a cup of tea now!!

Just read my emails, got two responses from MNHQ regarding two of my 4 reports today , both saying that the issues raised will be discussed tomorrow when the full team is in... fingers crossed.

Just wanted to say thank you misty for starting this and to natz for reporting and bluecat for fighting our corner in that thread!! I wholeheartedly supper the need for a thread where we can support each other and other mums who find themselves in our situation without fear of recrimination. I think it's something that mnhq should recognise and hopefully tomorrow something may be done about it - fingers crossed xxxx

Oh you girls with all your spelling/grammar mistakes have made me laugh Or should I say grammar makes Bluecat? Sorry if that's a UK thing lost in translation. Same with the 'supper' v 'support' MrsBigz

Personally, I think the post in question should be moved, rather than the support threads for termination/pregnancy after termination. It has worked so well for so long. However, I only post on the latter one these days, and then only infrequently (though do still lurk), so, as long as you tell me where your new home is, I'll be happy with whatever you decide.

Sorry for posting on the other thread again, hence bumping it back up, but I'm hopeful it will be moved soon. I do think it's important to know and remember though, that the thread itself wasn't entirely horrible - there were some open-minded and supportive people on there, and I'm sure, many more behind the scenes who are just reluctant to post for whatever reason.

Will be watching this space xxx

[proof reads thread very carefully]

Proof reads post even - knew there'd be something

Grrrr - Personally, I think the thread in question, obviously, not post

I wouldn't normally correct myself, but.....

People in glass houses etc

Hello ladies, I agree with Mishta, I think it might be better to move the thread in question and not the support threads. No matter what you/MNHQ decide though, please don't feel like there is nowhere to come and talk about your precious lost babies - we have all been faced with terrible choices and we all understand. There will always be people who don't, but so far no one has come onto the support thread to be judgemental.

Thinking of you all xxxx

Mishtabel ha ha I can't seem to help myself, got so mad the mistakes kept flowing!

Hey ladies!

Wow, you have been busy, I am impressed!Natz- I got 4 responses (!!), but they were all that generic, 'freedom of expression' tat. Glad you got something a bit more thought out.

Hope you are managing to stay away from the thread of evil - I still have it hidden and refuse to go on, but from what you have been posting I can see a few brave souls are on there, fighting for us. I just don't think those....'people'....(ahem!).....will listen to reason. That's why I'm staying away; it's not a discussion to enlighten or inform, it's an opportunity for the bigotted and holier-than-thou's to brow beat vulnerable women. I find the ladies who have been in our position, but have no empathy or understanding the most noxious TBH. All that, 'if I can do it, so should you'......aaargh!

Big us, lets see what today brings xxx

So I'm on the typo bus then!!

That'll be natz in bold and big HUGS xxx