Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

Oh god-cross posted with you helenlouisey- so so sorry to hear your news. I hope you do manage to avoid another d & c - I remember reading your posts the first time round so really hope at least you get a slightly smoother ride this time. And I hope you're doing as well as you can be at the moment-I do remember how hard this part is. I had a miscarriage in the first pregnancy after my termination but thankfully, my next pregnancy resulted in the sleepy baby upstairs. There are lots of similar stories from the ladies here so maybe some hope there for you once you're through this awful time. Do keep posting here if it would help you to keep talking. It really was a lifeline for me. Take care xxx

Helenlouisey, Im so sorry to hear your news. I dont have any words of advice, but as LittlePoot says, I hope it is a smoother ride this time. And with any luck you will be coming back on again with some happy news in the near future xxx

Hi Helenlouisey, so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, it must be very disappointing after so much wait to conceive. I hope you join us here again soon. xx

Natz I'm so pleased to hear your girls will have another sister and that the scan was good. I think you are brave taking your kids with you, part of me still thinks I'll get bad news so mine definitely wont be with me if I can work out when it is and find my notes...

Littlepoot i dont know why but I thought you had another child already, I didn't realise Jacob was your first. Definitely make the most of cafes and sleeping when baby sleeps etc it was great with no 1. Also good with no2 but more child-focused.

x

Hi Manitz, good luck with upcoming scan! Only reason we took them this time is because we had the anomally scan 3 weeks ago, and this one was just a check up one and have been feeling really possitive since the anomally scan.

Hope you find your notes soon!!!

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all well x

Lol - just realised I had a different name. Was trying it out as my screen name has the girls initials and wanted to include babby too - what do you think of PinkParty? It's not winning me over to be honest x

Hi everyone,

Helenlouisey, I am sorry about your mc. I really hope you get pregnant again soon. It must be doubly hard with the Ashermans and all.

Natz, congrats on another little girl! Your house will be a princess paradise. You sound very chilled, it's lovely.

Manitz, good luck with the upcoming scans.

Hi Poot, Katie, Coffee! Good news on the job, Katie. And Poot, yep, you'll never have such relaxed coffee sessions again- not least when baby gets old enough to want to steal your cake/run around/knock over cups of coffee/shout 'Mummy can we go now?' Coffee, how's the feeding going now? and what is Coffeebean's name going to be as he grows?

Numpty, how are you? How is Josie doing- she will be 1 soon, no? time goes fast....

And I wonder how Allstars is. And Gina, and Viv, and Katerina, and all our other graduates.

Kittens, I am thinking of you, hope you can give up those steroids soon!

Mimsy, still thinking of you.

Not much news from here. Friend's baby is doing fantastically well. We are off on holiday to France next week, hurrah. Babycant can walk independently now up to around 20 steps, though she still holds on when she can get away with it. And the MMR hasn't agreed with her at all, she's been v grumpy.

Two years ago today I had my second lost baby, in a special suite in the labour ward. May she rest in peace. I think Poot shares the anniversary with me in fact, so may Poots baby rest in peace too.

Hi MyAngelAva, hope early pregnancy is going okay for you... I didn't have CVS or amnio as was 'low risk' though frankly having two separate unconnected fatal conditions was not just low risk but very very uncommon, and it still happened to me, so, like you, I don't really accept low risk as meaning it will probably be okay. However the flip side of that was I also thought knowing me if I DID have cvs/amnio I would be the one who miscarried. Oh and one of my babies had a non-chromosomal fatal condition which wouldn't have been detected anyway. Fatal conditions get picked up at the anomaly scan; okay it's late, but I had more scans between the nuchal and the anomaly scan and would recommend that for people like you too. The hospital should agree.

OK, bedtime for little ones....

Cantdo, I am thinking of your second lost little girl tonight, and of Poot's little lost one, your post brought a tear to my eye.

Helenlouisey, so sorry to hear about your mc, it's so unfair. Do you have good support in RL? Take care of yourself in the next few weeks, and don't hesitate to keep on posting in here if it helps you.

Poot, glad that Jacob is well and you are enjoying motherhood. I feel more settled into motherhood as well, but it would be great if I could get more sleep at night. Sleep is still hit and miss, and unfortunately even when Coffeebean falls asleep quickly after a feed I struggle to go back to sleep, toss and turn and then by the time I fall asleep it's feeding time again!

By the way Cantdo, I have no idea what I'm going to call him when he outgrows Coffeebean, perhaps My Little Espresso as he is a strong boy and is keeping me alert all day :)

Feeding is going very well, he is so much happier and more settled, although it' so much harder to organise myself than when he was feeding from the breast. We had a big scare a couple of nights ago, I fed him lying down (I still do it every morning), he fell asleep quickly but then 2 minutes later he projectile vomited and started to whimper... it turned out it was nothing in the end, he fed again a bit later and gave me a big smile, but I got so scared...

Natz,congratulations on another little girl, great news! To be honest I'm not very keen on PinkParty either. How is your back?

Big hello everyone else. Mishta, I miss you :) xxxx

Coffee- what about bambinocino like in Pizza Express, the name for the baby version of cappucino?! Glad he is more settled, and sympathies (but no advice) on the sleep as not cracked here yet either....

Agree about PinkParty by the way Natz - it doesn't sound right for you.

Yes- where is our Mishta?!

Thank you cantdo, that's good advice. I went to have my first appt at the hospital and all booked in for an early scan and a 12 week one. Should we get that far, I will def pester for more scans before the anomoly when I see the consultant, so thank you. Also thinking of you second lost little one as well as poot's angel baby.

Just wanted to send my love to helenlouisey, I'm sorry to read about your mc and I hope that you are doing as well as you can be xxx

Thank-you Can't. x

Sorry it is slightly late, thinking of Cant and Poot on the anniversaries. Hope you are both bearing up ok xxx

Back is so much better thanks Coffee, I have been doing all the exercises and sleeping positions/props that the wonderful world of Google has informed me to do, and not to speak too soon, but I have had no pain for about a week now! I refuse to lift anything that I dont need to or have to - cue DP acting as my personal slave when it comes to carrying shopping, washing, children etc.

So glad feeding is going better with coffeebean, DD1 would often throw up after a feed and have me and DP watching her like a hawk for the next 2 hours in case it happened again. Glad you are getting more settled, the sleeping will eventually come - hopefully soon x

Cant - really happy to hear your friends baby is doing well! Enjoy your holiday. I found life got much easier when my DD's began walking

Hello to everyone else, sorry for short post - have just put a new wardrobe together (well, passed screwdriver to DP whilst watched him put it together..) so going to move all the clothes in there now. Bump is active and getting bigger, although has been pretty chilled out the past day or two, but I have been more active since recovering from Sinitus!

oh helenlouisey, so sorry to read your sad news, hope everything is going as gently as it can, and that a d&c isn't necessary. take care xx

Natz, congratulations on another girl...was sure you'd be having another boy for the thread. Still can't quite get used to the fact that there will be no more pink baby clothes in our house, (and my 2 x daughters can't really deal with it either!)

We have had a bit of a week, last week had a bleed and spent 2 days in hospital waiting to see if it would settle or happen again...there was talk of early labour and steroid injections, so all a bit frightening. Obviously I convinced myself that this meant baby had something wrong with him, so all in all it's been worrying. They couldn't find a reason for the bleed, which is good news though. Had a couple of scans, and baby is well on his way to 3 lbs so if he makes it to term we really are expecting a 10lb baby (I am not a very big person so this is a concern!) Bump measures 22cm and I am 27 weeks, so all very bizarre. Reading through my notes the scan noted that the stomach was large and out of proportion, but nobody mentioned anything to me...can't find anything clear on google, and trying to be rational for a change...

quick hello to everyone else...running out to rescue washing from torrential rain...
xx

hi babylily you have had a really worrying week. hope the rest of your pregnancy is uneventful. just checkingin to say that the heart is fine. full anomaly on monday. i understand now why you took the girls natz, thoguht was your anomaly scan which would have been brave. x

Just popping in quickly. Sorry, again, not much time to post but scanning and lurking from time to time and noticed that LittlePoot was asking after me so thought I'd let you know where I'm at.

Not pregnant yet (obviously you would've heard if I was!), should be OV over the weekend or thereabouts. Last batch of steroids was fine, thank god. Didn't feel too bad at all. Hope it's the same this time. Been a bit preoccupied, hence not being on here much. My stepmum died last week and although I wasn't that close to her it is very sad and I am devastated for my Dad and Stepsister. I had been thinking about (and have already offered) going to see my dad to give him a bit of support but he lives in Costa Rica. I won't be able to go until at least August and so I'm now worried that if I fall pregnant the long haul travel and being in a tropical country will be a risk that I'm not sure how I feel about. It will also cost me an enormous amount of money, in travel costs and lost earnings which will come out of my emergency fund that was meant for, best case scenario, when I have a baby and am not earning, worst case scenario, IVF/Egg Donor/PGD etc. So I feel like I'm in a massive dilemma at the moment. My stepsister is only there for another couple of weeks and he is scared about being on his own.

So sorry, once again I am stuck inside my own head and not managing to keep up with personals! Please forgive me. Thinking of you all. xx

WELL i had an abortion in march as my baby had edwards, then had a monthly in april, didnt in may but test said neg, so waited until june did another test said pos, but i dont no how far i am could be 5 or 9 weeks

Natz, I'm not sure if I've said yet congratulations on having another girl. They will all be really good friends, how nice for them all to have lots of sisters to play with. And Manitz, such good news that the heart scan was clear. I'm sure the anomaly will be too, hope you have a good weekend and are able to relax a bit better now before Monday.

A big hug to Helenlouisey on your sad news. I'm so sorry. I hope you find the strength to get through this too and can keep going until you do get your baby to take home in the end.

Babylily what a scary time! Try not to worry about the stomach, I'm sure they would have said something to you if it indicated a problem. And as to the bleeding, I seem to remember you had some bleeding earlier on in the pregnancy. Some pregnancies just have a tendency to bleeds I think? Hope you are feeling a bit better.

Kittens, what a hard choice about your trip. I can completely understand your dilemma. Is there any chance your dad would come over to you for a visit and that you could offer to pay for some of the fare? I too would be worried about travel in case you get pregnant, but also you at least could continue working and not lose earnings etc, and maybe he has other relations he could visit? But he may not feel up to a trip, which would be very understandable. Sorry not much help.

And finally, congratulations to Gillianread. An early scan is the only way to tell I think, have you seen your GP yet? Perhaps he can refer you for one. I hope you are feeling ok.

Lots of love to everyone else x

Another quick post from me, been very busy weekend and need my bed!

Manitz - glad heart scan was all clear! Look forward to hearing about the anomally scan soon.
Kittens - sorry to hear about your step-mum. I hope you are ok and that your dad will be able to come to you instead x
Babylily - what an awful scare. I hope you are resting up. Sounds like your little one isn't going to be so little! I have no idea about the relevance to size in relation to weeks, with both my DD's I was the same size in cm that I was in weeks, but this time Im 2cm smaller than my weeks IYSWIM?
Grandj - thank you! How are you doing?
Gillianread - Congratulations to you, hopefully your GP can get you booked in for a dating scan soon.

Hello to everyone else xx

Hi, haven't posted for a while hope everyone is ok

Babylily- what a stressful time for you I hope the bleeding has eased off, did they find a cause for it? I had some bleeding a little while back at about 25 weeks. It turned out to be a harmless cervical erosion, with is apparantly the commones reason for bleeding in later pregnancy.

Manitz- good luck with todays scan

I'm 31 weeks now and have been having regular scans to check the raised level of amniotic fluid. The good news is that at the latest scan last week it had reduced so that it is just at the top of the normal range now. However the doctor did say that my placenta was looking 'mature' and had the appearence of a placenta a month further along than I am. Which means.... another scan at 34 weeks to monitor it.

Seems that this baby will definitely be a bit early like his brothers. I might only have 3 or 4 weeks to go!

hi scan was good today. yes kittens can't your dad come to you? that would solve all th e problems I hope. Not worth the risk you'd have to wait till after baby born if all goes well. Good luck eavers xx gotta get kids from school x

Glad your scan went well Manitz.

Unfortunately it's not really practical for my Dad to come over here. I don't really have the space to put him up and neither of us can afford for him to stay in a hotel. I will have to just give him support from afar and go over if I'm not pregnant by the time I have to have my break from the steroids I guess. Or take a month off from trying, which isn't ideal.

Hi Everyone,

Back from hols and had a fairly eventful time. Worst was getting excruciating toothpain at the beginning of the holiday resulting in emergency dental treatment (was an absess and nerve death) never been in so much pain. I also fell over and grazed all my knees and got covered in mosquito bites which became swollen and sore. So bit of a painful time of it but on the whole it was lovely, hot, relaxing and lots of fun. Lovely surprise - DP proposed! - so we are planning to get married next summer.

Have anomoly scan tomorrow which I'm really worried about. Back to reality and all the worries and fears. Really hoping I'll get some reassurance.

Mantiz and Natz - great to read of the good scans and congrats Natz on your wee girl. Lovely news. Do you have name ideas?

Helenlouisey - really very sorry to read your news, hope you avoided the D&C or if not that it was problem free. I hope you fall pregnant again quickly.

Babylily - sorry also to read about your scare. Hope you've had no more bleeding and it was nothing to worry about. I had a bleed with my DD at about 23wks when I was on holiday in Cairo (I probably shouldn't go on holiday whilst pregnant as something always happens!) but it was nothing to worry about, just bleeding from the cervix. Hope you're back to feeling relaxed.

Eavers - glad fluid is looking better. At least you are being well looked after and they'll be ready should baby come early.

Grandj - hope all well with you? Do you have any more scans planned?

Kittens - sorry to hear about your stepmum. That's a difficult decision you have to make about visiting your Dad. Probably best to play by ear a little bit and see whats going on at the time. Hope the 2WW going ok and steriods are still not making you ill.

Love to Can't and Poot - hope your anniversaries passed peacefully.

Myangelava - how are you doing and how far along are you now. Any scans approaching?

Hope everyone else is doing well, love to all x

Cherry - welcome back and CONGRATULATIONS! How brilliant that you are engaged, were you surprised? What a lovely piece of news.

And good luck for your scan today, hopefully your holiday helped to take your mind off it a bit and fingers crossed it all goes well - I'll be looking for updates later.

I haven't got any more scans planned, just normal midwife care from now on although there is a meeting with consultant at 28 weeks when I guess I could ask for one if I wanted. There is part of me that doesn't want one though - I feel a bit like I'd rather not know if there's a problem with the baby at this stage. But then again, say if there was a problem with growth/placenta or something it would be good to know that... am away for work next week so will think about it after that maybe.

Hi ladies, sorry haven't been around much - have been lurking but it's been a particularly difficult couple of weeks (out of nowhere) so haven't been posting.

Where am I? Well, used OPKs for the first time this month. Had faint lines around 4 days then a positive one morning. However, this turned to a negative by the evening so I may have missed a very small window. Anyway I'm on cd28 now (my cycles are 28-35 days) and no af, so fingers crossed.

Have been feeling like everyone's forgotten about our baby and everything we've been through. Just a low time. Will catch up and do more personals next time x

scan date came in today, not till 29th june so should be over 12 weeks max or 8 weeks can't wait to find out, such bad timing lol we r going on a family trip to chessington for 2 days in july lol, also i was going to thorpe park in 2 week with friends , so wont be doing that, i've not been to a theme park with friends in 9 years, also was ment to be going on a weekend trip on 20th jan, for friends 30th birthday, well if i am 10 weeks then due 11 th jan lol so wont be doing that , also i am 30 in oct , i will be very sober lol

Computer is playing up so quick update using my phone. Scan was good yesterday, no obvious problems found and so feeling relieved. Grandj, theyve said no more scans for me either just normal midwife care so even though that's a bit scary in some ways it's nice to feel 'normal' !

So now feel it's time to start telling people though still feel inclined to keep it low key. Guess the worry will be there for the rest of the pregnancy though certainly less anxious as a result of tests and scans.

Here's hoping the weeks pass quickly and are uneventful for all of us!