Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

Hello guys - hope you find this! I couldn't post on the old thread so had to create a new one - hope that's ok?

Fingers tightly crossed for you today eavers - hope to see some good news from you shortly. You're so brave going on your own - hope you get there ok.

Kittens - you ok? Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you're doing alright and keeping busy.

All well here. Have finally faced up to the fact that I've only got 3 weeks to go (partly because Dot engaged his head in my nethers in rather a hurry a few days ago so there's a chance he might not want to hang on for 3 more weeks). So am shopping and washing and packing this week so that I can then just mooch about for the next few weeks while we wait for D-day (or should that be B-day?).

Love to all. xxx

The scan went well everything was as it should be at this stage. The nuchal has been booked for 3 weeks today with the same lovely doctor. Phew! Another hurdle over.

Thanks so much for your good luck messages and wishes, it means so much that people are keeping fingers crossed.

I'm starting to think about the CVS and whether to have it, We didn't think twice last time with a 1 in 2 risk but if the risk is lower not sure what to do. The thought it causing a miscarriage is so awful. Such a difficult decision, I guess it will depend on what my risk is but I am not sure I would ever get a particularly low risk at age 38 and with my history.

Babylily-what day is your scan next week?

Great news eavers, and it's great you're getting continuity of care as well. We were talking about this in here a couple of weeks ago.

I feel a bit like the pot calling the kettle black telling you this, but can you hold on making a decision about the CVS until after the nuchal? It might be that you get very good odds and some advice one way or the other from your consultant, so you'll know what to do then. I remember Poot being booked in for a CVS after the nuchal and cancelling her appointment after getting good odds.

By the way, hi Poot, I can't believe you only have 3 weeks to go! Although I know time is dragging on at this stage (7 weeks for me and it certainly feels like it will never come).

Kittens, I hope you're well. Hello to everybody else, sorry for lack of personals.

Hello, I am ok, don't worry. Just sort of lurking really and skim reading as it's a bit difficult reading about scans etc at the mo. I'm doing ok though.

It's been quite strange this time because of Christmas. I thought it would be good that it happened when it did because there would be plenty to keep me occupied and my mood bouyed, which was true. It did also feel a bit like, from Christmas eve onwards it was never really mentioned again, either by family or myself very much. I had conflicting feelings of "nobody seems to be concerned whether I'm ok anymore" and "oh good, now I don't have to keep talking about it". People, in their well meaningness (I know, not a real word!), seem to ask a lot of questions and offer all sorts of suggestions which although coming from the right place I've had enough of hearing and have also had enough of talking about it, explaining what tests I've had, what I may still try etc etc. I don't mind talking about it on here, because that's what here is for but after 6 losses for various reasons I sometimes feel that's all I've talked about for 3 1/2 years!

I did get my appointment through from Dr Shehata though this week which is good. It's for 15 March which is not as far off as I feared it may be. I have read of people waiting 5 months for blood results though after seeing him on the NHS so I will find out about that and maybe just get the consultation with him and then decide if I want to have the tests privately. I think even the initial consultation costs a couple of hundred privately so it will still save me some money.

Not much more to tell really. Feeling flabby after brief pregnancy and over indulgent Christmas, New Year, Birthday etc. Must try to motivate myself to do some exercise! Flabby & forty one..... boo hooo.

Hope the rest of you are doing ok. Sorry I've been quiet and not really good about personals as I've not been reading in much detail. Will be back in due course, meanwhile you can find me talking nonsense or spouting my wisdom (depending on the subject) on the more frivolous threads.

Great news about your scan, eavers. really relieved for you. How was it being on your own? Were they kind? My scan is a week on Friday (21st).
Re: the CVS. It's a tough one..after my first termination I thought I would go straight to CVS, but my nuchal was so low we weren't even offered it (my lovely 4 yr old DD)

This time around, with having had a subsequent termination, (and also at the advanced age of 38!) my old consultant had advised I should go for CVS straight away...
but if my nuchal and bloods are okay on their own(please please please) we're prepared to disregard the age calculated risk factors. (does that make sense?) I won't have a CVS unless we have similar results to last time. It's not an easy decision, and one which my family completely disagree with.
Coffee and Poot - hope you can relax and enjoy the last few weeks of preparing for your babies...
Mishta, lovely to read how bella is getting along.
nearly 9.30, hormones kicking in and i'm off to bed.
x

Great news eavers - really happy for you! As Coffee said, I had exactly the same worries about CVS and did have one 'provisionally' booked in after my nuchal scan. But then the consultant who did my scan was so reassured and reassuring about the results that I had absolutely no hesitation in not going for the CVS. I got a risk of about 1:700 from the scan itself (1.5mm) and then got the blood results back a couple of days later which pushed it to 1:7900. I'm 35 by the way, so my age plus previous history risk was pretty horrendous (1:140 I think). I thought I'd have wanted cvs whatever the risk, but 1:700 was definitely enough that I changed my mind. You don't need to decide now - just see how the scan goes and see how you feel then. And do try to enjoy yesterday for a while longer first!!

Babylily - I agree with your thoughts to scan first then decide about the cvs - you might just decide to have it anyway for peace of mind, but there's no harm in taking the decision one step at a time. xxx

hello i've found the thread. nice to hear from you kittens, had been wondering where you were.

I think I will actively start trying next month. Would be this month but we both have horrible colds and just can't cope with it at the moment. Scary thought for many reasons but i think it's what i want. Feel selfish and can't work out if it's the right thing to do but I know I'll never feel complete if i leave it.

Little poot moving car seats from seat to seat got DS going if you want everything to hurry up. Does history increase the odds for risk? your post makes me think it does. If I manage to get pg in the next few months I'm likely to be almost 39 and obv have two previous pg ending in termination. How would that affect my risk?? It seems it would be really high. Beyond that the bloods and scans must have changed your risk factors. Is that right?

Coffee you could ask them about birthing stools. Also are you thinking about a water birth? ask about availability of the pool. Finally what if you don't get on with your midwife, how do you swap?

take care all. I look forward to hearing about some tear-free but relatively speedy births! x
PS babylily I agree with others and think about cvs once you've had your nuchal a step at a time is the best way.

Thankyou for your thoughts and kind wishes.

Babylily-It was actually ok going on my own.The doctor was the same one who did my CVS and discussed the results from it last year. She is really nice, it makes a huge difference if they have good people skills. I still shudder at the thought of the NHS sonographer I saw last year.

I will wait until I get the nuchal results before deciding on the CVS. What I might do is book a private scan at the FMC for the day after the NHS nuchal(assuming the nhs results are reasonably ok). I can get a second opinion and they also look for presence of nasal bone and other soft markers which the NHS don't.

LittlePoot- what a great scan result! Please let me get something similar.

Manitz- RE increased risk -I was told by my doctor that my risk of having another T21 pregnancy was slightly increased this time by 0.5% or 1% (cant remember which) above my normal age related risk.

Hi everyone

eavers glad your scan went ok, good to hear from you kittens have been thinking about you.

I spent the last few days thinking i might be pregnant, late AF, sore boobs,back ache. Anyway AF came today, day 37 0f cycle last one was 27 days long so not sure what body is doing and makes timing fot ttc difficult.
Have just ordered ovulation sticks on amazon they are so cheap compared to shops, and while i was at it thermometer and charting kit, it was only 6 quid, and some pre-seed, I'm a women obsessed at the moment! Im terrified Isabelle was my only chance of having a baby and i'll never get pregnant again, I know thats crazy, but anyway I'm going to have a dam good try this month.

Flower - I know exactly how you feel. I had a long cycle this last time and thought I may well have been PG only for AF to show 5 days later than expected. It's just taking a while I think for things to get back to normal which does make it hard to plan TTC. I bought some cheap OPKs too and even though I want to just be relaxed about it and see what happens I know I'm kidding myself and will be scrutinising them obsessively on a daily basis!

Eavers - glad your scan went well and you are being well looked after. It's been said many times before but having a kind and supportive doctor makes all the difference.

Kittens - it's good to hear from you, I was wondering how you've been over the holidays. Glad you're coping well and wont have too long for your appointment. But far enough away to have a rest and gather some energy.

Coffee and Poot, not too long to go now for you both! I hope these last few weeks aren't uncomfortable and pass quickly.

Natz - hope you're well and the 2WW isnt dragging too much for you. Fingers crossed!

Manitz - hope your cold gets better quickly. Its very scary TTC especially when you feel risk is heightened and I can relate to your ambivalent feelings. We were told that we are extremely low risk of it happening again. But it was extremely low risk in the first place yet it happened to us. So, I'll be terrifed no matter what risk ratio we are given. I'm very scared about invasive testing but I dont think I'd be reassured without it. I'll have to wait and see I suppose. I guess as others always say, one step at a time.

Hope everyone else is well.

New thread! Hello everyone.

I am in major nesting mode. 35 weeks and want everything 'just so'. I feel quite in a muddle with so many loose ends still to tie up with my work and lots of house/admin stuff to sort before this baby arrives. DD seems to be trying to give up her nap, which I could really do without! She's waking early too, and we've just had a massively busy weekend with her second birthday, party etc... quite exhausted.

I didn't bother baking the egg-free Peppa Pig cake in the end. I went into major meltdown trying to scale up the recipe to fit my tin and DH very sensibly went to Waitrose and bought a Peppa cake for doing the candles and for our toddler guests, and some chocolate krispie cakes for DD to enjoy instead! She didn't care, and I didn't have to bake...

I know what you mean Poot about baby engaging. I never really had it with DD (she never engaged properly), but this baby has started to pop in and out of my pelvis and it's like a concrete melon!

Kittens that's great it's not too long for your appointment. I too have found some of the more frivolous threads on here great entertainment and good at passing the time when I don't want to talk about stuff. Hope you're doing ok.

Eavers I was sure I would want a CVS after my nuchal this time. I didn't have one in the end. I reasoned with myself that if the hospital didn't deem me to be high risk then I wouldn't want to risk an MC. Of course there is no guarantee that this baby won't have DS or any number of other problems even with a good low risk result, but I'm trying to think positively as I did with DD.

Hope things aren't dragging too much for those TTC and waiting for scans etc.

Gina if you're reading I hope you and Alexander are doing well xx

sadly all my stresses have been unneccesary. This evening I have started to miscarry.

Guess this means that this was another baby with an extra chromosome. I have been pregnanct now 7 times, 2 x males with trisomies, 3 x miscarriages, my 2 x lovely daughters. I had just been saying to my dh earlier that the symptoms I had were the same as those with the boys, and very different to those with my daughters. Convinced now that we do have a genetic problem with boys, despite what the geneticist thought. The geneticist also told us that 9/10 miscarriages were chromosome abnormality related.

Just wanted a happy ending this time and it just feels so unfair yet again.
xx

Babylily - Im so sorry. I cant really offer any words of comfort because I know there are none.

It is so unfair xxx

Babylily - I'm so very sorry to read your news. Its just very unfair.

I know of someone who believed after numerous losses and healthy girls,there was a genetic problem with boys, it took her a long time to get the medics to properly investigate and it turned out she was right. I hope you get some answers when/if you go down that road and in the meantime I hope you are being well looked after and have lots of support. Lots of love to you.

Hello Ladies,

I'm back again, just wanted to let you know that I'm still around and constantly checking up on how you are all getting on, but I'm more of a lurker than a persistant poster so I hope you don't mind.

Its nice to see you are still about Kittens . Its good that you've got your appointment through. I hope you are well.

Hi everyone else (some may or may not remember me).

NatzCNL Hi to you too and thanks again for posting on the 'talk to me about CVS thread'. It was very helpful.

Coffee & Poot I can't believe you're both nearly ready to pop. It seems like its gone really quickly - probably becuase I'm always dipping in and out but I hope it all goes well for you both.

Well, I'm 14+1 now. We had the Nuchal Scan last Weds and got some really good images of babies head and both sides of the brain so that rules out Annencephaly, thank goodness. We did however have a little wobble. With the combined test results our odds of Downs Syndrome came back at 1:43 so we opted to have a CVS the next day (hence the nod in Natz direction). We got the results on Monday and got the All Clear. We were obviously very relieved. My PAPP-A homrone is on the low side so they suggested this is probably why the ratio was high risk in the first place.

I'm receiving fantastc care, the Midwives and doctors are really keeping an eye on me and cos of the low PAPP-A I have got a lot of Scans for between now and when baby arrives booked in. Feeling a little more comfortable with the idea of being a mum now. Just need to get throught the 20wk scan.

Best wishes to those who have imminent appointments / scans / tests etc. and good luck to those trying.

XXX

So sorry to read your news babylily - I hope you didn't think I was being ignorant, I just hadn't got to the end of the thread like I thought I had!

It is very unfair, my thoughts are with you hun
XXX

babylily I'm so sorry to hear you are miscarrying. Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you xx

Just popping my head around the door of our lovely new thread to say hi.

babylily - I am so dreadfully sorry to hear you're having to go through this again. I hope you're going easy on yourself and that you're being well looked after.

coffee and poot - I too can't believe you're almost there! How time has flown. Hope you're both well and enjoying these last few weeks!

Love to everyone else xxx

Thinking of you babylily, I hope you're well looked after in RL. xxxx

Oh babylily, I really am sorry to hear that. I hope you're doing ok. xx

But lovely news from you stormbird - glad things have come back clear from the cvs. xx

Babylily - I am so sorry about your news. I was thinking about you this week even before this happened. So unfair.
Take care xx

So sorry to hear your news Babylily. Take care of yourself. x

Babylily so sorry to hear your news

Hi Stormbird good to hear things are going ok and that you are being well looked after.

Babylily, only just had chance to post - I'm so sorry to hear your news and for your loss; I hope you are being well supported. xx

hi just popping in. Babylily I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriage. As others have said, I hope that you are getting support. x