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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

997 replies

LittlePoot · 12/01/2011 13:28

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

OP posts:
Cantdothisagain · 05/02/2011 07:33

Ha, Numpty, Babycant can only go backwards, and tends to shunt herself backwards under furniture. In no hurry for speedy crawling as Littlemisscant is always playing with dangerously small objects that would attract Babycant to eat them if she could reach them....

Katie, weaning is fun, and sometimes a bind, but I just gave Babycant family food and she is, for now, a fantastic eater (having said that - I did the same for Littlemisscant and she is now a picky eater...).

eavers · 05/02/2011 10:48

Hi quick post, (sorry its a bit me me me at the moment).

Got my NHS combined risk yesterday and it was 1:820. This was better than I thought, I think the reason is that my blood test results were really really good. I've been looking at the FMC website info on nuchal scans/blood test results.

My hospital have been really good they fasttracked the results in 2 days rather than the normal 7 days and phoned me straight away.

So I think we will decline the CVS and see how the scan at 16 weeks goes.

Hi to all.

Coffeeandchocolate · 05/02/2011 16:58

Hi all, great to hear from Cantdo and Numpty - I was wondering how you and the little ones were. Cantdo, 10 months already, wow, I remember so well when Bezzy posted your birth announcement.

Numpty, thanks for the link. It might come in handy in the next couple of weeks, when I'll be home on my own and just fiddling my thumbs.

And Eavers, waiting and having more scans sounds like a very good decision. So is it "only" 4 weeks now until the next scan?

I'll start my maternity leave on Wednesday, I'm so looking forward to it. I've been having loads of BH and the back pain has truly settled in now. Still I guess I'm lucky it hasn't really been a problem until a couple of days ago. I'm much more relaxed now as I'll be 37 weeks on Monday so Coffeebean should be fine even if he makes an early appearance. I've also decided not to worry about my bloods until I know for sure what's wrong, they did say I need a routine appointment so it can't be serious, and so many results are out of range in pregnancy anyway. It's silly to turn something like this into a reason to worry. I just think I have worry now as the default setting, so my mind just seems to do it before my rational self kicks in... if this makes any sense at all. I'm just afraid I've made it this far only for something to come up and spoil it all.

I also think Dot must be here by now, and keep on checking for any news from Poot. The next few weeks will be quite busy for our thread. I was also wondering how Gina and little Alex were... And also Rachel, I think she was due to stop work next week as well. I can't keep up, so much going on in here.

Natz, I hope you survived the party :)

Starsandplanets · 06/02/2011 09:32

Morning. I am still here but mostly reading. :) Littlestar is getting big. We have started BLW and he is loving it. DD is enjoying it too, she decided to share her sherbet dib-dab with him the other day! Cue me explaining/reminding about good food choices etc.

Has anyone heard from Poot? I hope Dot's birth was ok. Can't, I agree about the name Dot. ;)

Waves to everyone else. Xx

Mishtabel · 06/02/2011 11:28

Coffee, just over one year ago, I could have written what you did re: the worry, just waiting for something to go wrong, expecting it really. Was so glad and relieved the morning I woke up in hospital on the day of the c-section, thinking, 'yay, I was wrong, she made it'. Then when Bella became unwell, I kinda thought 'oh, so this is how it ends'. Was surprised really that her treatment worked and I got to take her home (just as you will be taking little Coffeebean home soon enough). I've said it before, I know, but just try to accept that you have those fears/feelings, be kind to yourself and realise that it's perfectly reasonable to feel that way after what you've been through, but that your worries have little bearing on reality. I still worry about things that could happen, and I've soul-searched enough to know it's because I never again want to have my world turned upside down when I least expect it - so I try to pre-empt what might happen all the time (if that makes sense). To be honest, it's half the reason I've thrown my job in and decided to do family daycare Blush I really hope you don't turn out like me! It helped when I was pregnant to read the normal pregnancy threads, and concentrate on all those little 'normal' worries ie how many knickers should I pack for hospital etc. Hope you get to actually rest once your maternity leave starts and don't 'do a Gina' Wink

Cant and Numpty, so lovely to hear about your girls. You're lucky I don't live over there, or else I'd be hassling for meet-ups for sure. Envious about Babycant eating family food - this allergy thing (dairy one in particular) has really put a dampener on the weaning. Been told not to give her any dairy until she's 5 or 6 (!) but not happy with that so am getting a second opinion. How long until you girls go back to work? I have an 8 day course to go to from next Monday so am desperately trying to get Bella out of the (very bad) habit of feeding to sleep - any tips??

Also great to hear from you Allstars (or is it just 'Stars'). Seems like just yesterday Littlestar was a newborn. I also agree about the name Dot. Keep thinking of Poot having a girl, when I know it's a boy. Have been dropping in twice a day to, hopefully, read some news, but I'm going with Cants scenario, and will try to be patient.

Eavers, good to hear some more positive news from you. And never be sorry for the so-called me, me, me post - quite understandable :)

Peanut, if you happen to read this thread these days, I am always hopeful to see you back here, and same goes for Allways. I think about you both xx

Mammoth post Blush A big hello and love to everyone else. Enjoy your Sunday xxx

PS Katie, I heard Murder on the Dancefloor today and couldn't help but think of you :)

babylily · 06/02/2011 17:09

eavers - just wanted to post to say how pleased i am to hear your positive news. I'm really glad you have been able to avoid the stress of CVS and hope that the future scans all give you more reassurance.
My scan at the fetal medicine centre in Glasgow is 2 weeks tomorrow. Not sure how I will last that long. Hoping they will give me the NT measurement right away. Cannot believe it is still 2 whole weeks away...

hello to everyone else
bit too stressed to linger and read right now...
xx

NatzCNL · 06/02/2011 20:15

Hi just a quick post, babylily, just wanted to wish you luck for the NT scan, we just got a date for ours, the 21st March! I know we have to wait till around 12 weeks but seems so far off. I hope you are ok. Will be wishing away the next 2 weeks for you and then the next 4 weeks after that for me!

DD party was absolute chaos...! My little house just isn't designed for 15 3yr and unders (plus parents)! Was totally wiped out afterwards and collapsed in a heap on the sofa after everyone left. I struggle with the lack of energy at the best of times, and nobody in RL knows I am pregnant yet.

This pregnancy is taking so long, I know that sounds odd as I am only 6 weeks, but I just want a scan and for somebody to tell me that everything is ok. We have known about baby for 3 1/2 weeks and it seems like forever. March has never seemed so far away. Also have Cara's due date on the 5th March which is playing on my mind. Sad

Sorry for lack of personals, will jump on here again soon (checking for Poot's post) xx

NumptyMum · 07/02/2011 10:51

Still no news from Poot? Hope all is OK...

Good to hear your survived the party Natz - that was a LOT of small children! I was thinking about Josie and Babycant and their pre-crawling habit of backing under the furniture and then thought of you perhaps doing the same at the party... I know what you mean about the pregnancy taking so long - I think it is because the early weeks become so much more crucial, the need to know whether everything is OK or not, going from one scan to another etc. Just try to focus on each day and the weeks will mount up soon enough.

Babylily I'm glad you've got an appointment in Glasgow for your NT scan; hope it all goes well and that the time until then seems to pass quickly.

Not long to go til you start mat leave now, Coffee! I hope you get to enjoy some coffee and cake (or chocolate) time with friends.

Good to hear from Stars - we're doing a mix of BLW and feeding mashed foods (as our normal family food is more conducive to being mashed!). Mishtabel, I'd find dealing with cheese/dairy allergy tricky as DH is veggie and eats huge amounts of cheese! Re feeding to sleep, I did this with DS quite a lot (and with DD this morning, sometimes it's nice to be able to 'cheat' this way!). What I'm trying to do is feed J but when she starts dropping to sleep I delatch her; if she roots to latch on again I let her, but sometimes she's just happy to snuggle in. I'm hoping that with more of this she will get better at knowing how to snuggle and self-settle herself - she's getting better with it at night, we put her on her side and rub or pat her back and now most of the time she'll go to sleep. She still wakes up during the night mind you, still working on that one! We're v tired here as DS has D&V on Sat night, so what with him and J we've had very little sleep between us. Oh the wonders a hot, strong cup of tea can do!

Better go and do things now, love to all. xx

Cantdothisagain · 07/02/2011 21:35

I hope Poot and Baby Dot are snuggled up nicely. And that Dot has had a name-change! Seriously, Poot, thinking of you, and hope you can post soon to let us know how things went.

Coffee, did you get your results yet? How's the zen this week?!

Stars, I love the sherbert dibdab story. I find BLW means I end up gobbling biscuits in secret to avoid the disappointed crying when she realizes she isnt allowed to share - Babycant is a really good eater. Mishtabel, that must be so hard about the dairy. I have no personal experience of this, but a friend's 2 kids were both dairy-allergic as babies (badly - hospitalized in fact) but it wore off before they were 2. Not sure how she found out it had worn off or how dairy was reintroduced though. Agree second opinion is a good idea. As for feeding to sleep.... well, Babycant has never, well, almost never, fed to sleep. That is because she very rarely falls asleep! So no advice there. I have my own, nightmarish, sleep problems, as she will not sleep longer than 45 mins at a stretch, all night, and is frequently awake for ages. She sleeps in with me, and wants to be snuggled right in. I think that is her equivalent of feeding to sleep, and no idea how I will ever persuade her back into the cot.

However I do have some daytime nap wisdom (!). I have discovered that if I catch Babycant at just the right moment, she will go to sleep BY HERSELF lying in her pushchair. However, if she is not tired enough or too tired, she will shout and cry and mess about for ages. The hard part though is finding the right time, and mostly I don't, sadly.

As for BLW, we share family meals but like Numpty mostly end up mashing them cos the sort of food we seem to eat (frequently out of the slow cooker) is too sloppy to be easily BLWed. But no purees. Babycant eats way better than Picky Little Miss Cant.

Hi Babylily and Natz, hope time flies and scans go well. I found time went faster as the pregnancy progressed, if that helps.

manitz · 08/02/2011 09:02

hi Mishtabel just a quick one but my first child had a dairy allergy. I was given different advice about dairy by everyone i came across. the best paediatrician i met specialised in gastric stuff. she also had trouble/has trouble putting on weight, he was very sensible about it and helped me test her allergy.

I stayed off dairy until she was about two then introduced it gradually starting with what was furthest away from milk, so initially she went onto soya yoghurt which was fine (apparently some allergic to dairy protein also allergic to soy). then started having biscuits/cakes cooked with butter. again fine. After about six months i tried proper yoghurt once i was happy fine with that, then to butter. etc etc.

she is 8 and drinks milk before bed and eats dairy though still can't put on weight! I also fed all my kids to sleep and they all still have milk before bed but have naturally stopped needing to be fed to sleep. fwiw.

How are you finding feeding her? I found it ok as long as we had a banana. She used to puke on dairy and came out in hives so it was fairly obvious if she had reacted. as she grew out of her allergy the puke would happen further on after eating so initially it was immediate later, she'd be sick 2 hours after eating dairy etc. so only tested her on something in the morning so she wouldn't be sick in her sleep. hope that is of some use. i am sorry for the essay. x

LittlePoot · 08/02/2011 10:16

Hey guys. Sorry for the silence and sorry also that I've not read back through any of the thread so hope I'm not stepping on anything sensitive.

Just to let you know that after 3 days of irregular contractions trying to get into labour after my waters broke, then being induced with every drug under the sun, baby Jacob William arrived safe and sound by c-section last Wednesday weighing just over 7lbs. Turned out he was trying to come out ear first, so no pressure on my cervix. Silly thing.

He is beautiful and seems to have learned to eat. Unfortunately though, he doesn't seem to have come with a sleep programme - he'll feed and look cute (very cute), but sleep is elusive. Hence the lack of posting time. I would ask for tips, but I'm not sure when I'll next get on here to look.....

Midwife coming this morning so fingers crossed for a magic solution. Hope all's well with everyone else and will try and catch up next week. xxxxxxx

OP posts:
LittlePoot · 08/02/2011 10:18

Just skimmed through the last few posts. LOL Can't - I know - Dot was never meant to be a real name, it just kind of stuck! And you were so right with your labour prediction!!! xx

OP posts:
NumptyMum · 08/02/2011 10:47

Hi Poot - great news! Phew. You must be tired after that labour; I hope you are getting some rest in between, even if Jacob (great name btw) is not. If it's any help to know, babies tend to be very unsettled around day 2/3/4 and feed a LOT as they are programmed to do that to bring your milk in. Although as Can't will testify, sleep is always elusive for some babies... for others, it improves with time. Josie is good at napping now, though sleep overnight last night was abysmal (waking every 1 1/2 hours - but i think she's not well...). During the day, prams can work wonders, sometimes a little shuggle in the pram is all it takes - you don't have to go on a mammoth walk, although the fresh air can be great for tired mums...

Anyway, fab news! xx

Havingkittens · 08/02/2011 11:21

Grin Hooray for Poot and baby Jacob! Grin

Lovely news. Hope the little monkey lets you both get some sleep soon. xx

Katerina100 · 08/02/2011 11:32

Many congratulations, Poot, such lovely news. Have been lurking to hear your news. K x

(P.S. Our little boy didn't want to sleep at all in the very first days but by week 8 had cracked 11pm-6am, so maybe you'll get lucky and find that Jacob is one of these. Daytime napping is another matter though, even now...)

ghislaine · 08/02/2011 12:12

Wonderful news, Poot. So pleased for you all.

Cherrybug · 08/02/2011 12:13

Congratulations Poot and what a lovely name Jacob is. Hope you're enjoying these early days despite the lack of sleep! x

Mishtabel · 08/02/2011 12:29

Poot! Congratulations on little baby Jacob! Agree, Jacob is a lovely name. So glad to hear (finally Wink ). Seriously, no pressure to get back and post. Just enjoy your time together, and know that we're here thinking of you. Hope the HV has some helpful advice for you xx

Manitz, thanks so much for that. Actually, today I was in the middle of posting to ask if you had any advice, as when I did a mumsnet search on dairy allergy, I came across some posts of yours from back in 2006 (you were replying to a CMP allergy query). I'm glad you're daughter grew out of it - gives me hope. Yes, there is a lot of conflicting information out there re allergies , which is what makes it such a worry I think. Hopefully I can get onto someone who really knows what their talking about. When I first went to get a referral to an allergist, the GP I saw (who wasn't my usual GP) told me it's impossible for her to be allergic to dairy if she is breastfed, as they are the same, and also when I said she would get hives just from milk touching her skin, he said that didn't make sense, as a reaction would only occur if she ingested it. Telling him that she screamed and projectile vomited after consuming yogurt, and was taken to a&e with swollen eyes after eating pizza crust with cheese on it, was put down to a co-incidence. Unbelievably he went on to ask why was I still breastfeeding her, as formula is better for babies after 6 months, and suggested I go there and then and buy some formula. I swear, if I had the energy, I would have reported him. Instead, to DH's horror, I just walked out in a huff. Managed to get blood tests done which showed positive to dairy, cocoa and potatoes, but it was the Bryan test, which I have read isn't reliable. So now have been referred to the closest place that does skin prick tests, which is a couple of hours away from here. Finding variety in meals and snacks is hard (yes, thankfully there are always bananas :) ). It's either the boring same old, same old, or I try something new and am on tenterhooks afterwards, scared she'll react somehow. On a positive note, twice today I put a drop of milk on her skin and nothing; not even a hint of redness - am too scared to go further though without medical guidance. Again, thanks for sharing your experience (and you apologised for your essay Blush ) xx

Cant, I shouldn't laugh, but the thought of Babycant wanting to be snuggled into you all night is just so cute :) Bella likes to share my bed, but insists on her own space (once she's finished feeding of course) and spreads herself, starshape over the bed.
Funny too you should say about the pushchair - have just realised that twice in the past week, Bella has fallen to sleep in her highchair, following lunch. It's a reclining one, so instead of getting her out and trying to transfer her to bed, today I just reclined it and let her have her afternoon nap in it. Mmmm, wonder what the daycare would think of me turning up with my own highchair?

Numpty, hope the D&V didn't pass to anyone else in the family. I've been reading about something like what you've described (Pantley Put Down or something like that) and halfheartedly tried it out, but was so scared of her waking up and not wanting to go back to sleep, that I'd quickly start feeding her again if she so much as moved. Will give it another go, and try the patting etc this time. Wish me luck :)

Natz, I am in awe of you! 15 children that age in any size house would be the stuff of nightmares - and parents! Well, lucky their parents were there I suppose :) Hoping time passes somewhat quickly for you until your scan, and also for you Babylily xx

Arghh, apologies for epic post (I should be sleeping). Love to all, and have a great day xx

shangrila · 08/02/2011 13:27

Aw, littlepoot! Congratulations and much love and sunshine to you all. And the warmest of welcomes to darling Jacob. Be happy! x

crazycatlady · 08/02/2011 13:57

Wonderful news Poot! Welcome little Jacob (lovely, lovely name). DD was a non-sleeper when newborn too. It will get better. Will he sleep on you or DH? That's pretty much what we did 24/7 for the first few weeks then gradually got her used to sleeping next to us, then into a cot...

Mishtabel sorry you're dealing with dairy allergy. It's stressful and difficult at times I know. DD was diagnosed by skin prick test at 8 months with allergy to cows milk protein, eggs and cod. She has since grown out of the CMP and cod, just eggs to contend with now. I have loads and loads of good dairy free recipes and food ideas for the weaning stage and beyond so if you're getting stuck for ideas let me know and I'll send you some. I did find it hard getting enough fats into DD without dairy in her diet. Lots of olive oil mixed into mash, avocado for snacks and fatty cuts of meat like beef mince were our staples.

Haven't caught up yet on everyone elses news, hope you're all well and that it's sunny where you are. Beautiful crisp sunny day in south London today. Am 38+4 today and ready for this baby to arrive... xx

rushingrachel · 08/02/2011 16:18

Poot, wonderful wonderful news. Welcome to the world to baby Jacob (which is a fab name). So many congratulations - after all you have been through you and all your family must be absolutely thrilled.

Coffee - due to stop work tomorrow, can't come soon enough. I am way too big and uncomfortable for it to make sense for me still to be behind a desk.

Catlady you must be next ... !

NatzCNL · 08/02/2011 19:10

Congratulations Poot!!! Welcome baby Jacob. I hope you all manage to catch up on some well deserved rest soon. My 1st DD always fell asleep on either me or OH, and today 4 1/2 years on, she still prefers to cuddle to sleep. 2nd DD always wanted to sleep in a cot and still cant fall asleep snuggling up, needs her space. Lol.

Finally got our dating scan for 2 weeks tomorrow. Still seems ages away, then NT scan nearly a month after that.

Mishtabel, sorry to hear about your DD's allergies. It is worrying trying babies with new foods at the best of times, I think you are doing a wonderful job. Angry at your stupid GP, he's lucky you didn't hit him, I think you would have been well within your rights to do that!

I asked my GP for an allergy test for DD1 as she has been suffering with severe eczema and I thought it was diet related, but they told me they couldn't refer her unless we knew what her allergy was.....?! Saw another GP who assured me that she has not got an allergy but is hypersensative and took her off the steroids the other GP had put her on as it was not helping in the long term. She is now on a cream that keeps her condition under control. We have been told that she will most likely grow out of it. It just amazes me how different the advice is from walking from one room to the next.

Hello to everyone else, sorry for lack of personals, DD1 is sprawled across my lap looking very sorry for herslef as she has a stinking cold, time for cuddles xx

katiecubs · 08/02/2011 19:18

YAY POOT! Congratulations - i love the name Jacob, two friends of mine have used it so out of bounds for me but a definite fave!

So glad you are home and doing well, sounds like labour was an ardous process but all came good in the end Grin can't wait to hear more abot your little man.

Lovely to hear updates on your little ones Mishtabel, Can't and Numpty - can't belive how the little thread babies are growing up, and so many more to come! Felix is loving his food and gobbling it all up, we are also having much more luck with the naps lately. He used to go absolutely nuts when tired and nap for bout 20 minutes but now seems to go down in his cot without much more than a little grumble. The other day he slept for 1.5 hours i was so flabergasted i kept going in to check he was ok - i didn't know what to do with myself! Not sure if it will last though but fingers crossed.

Love to all - looking forward to more thread babies soon, congrats again Poot and family x

katiecubs · 08/02/2011 19:24

Oh and Mistabel suprised you didn't hit the GP too what an idiot, sorry about the allergies too, poor Bella. Hoping the skin pricks give a better result - LOL at her falling asleep in the highchair though, cute! x

Cantdothisagain · 08/02/2011 21:20

Yay - congratulations Poot and family! I agree Jacob's a lovely name. Sleepwise, I shan't offer my advice since I've failed miserably with both DDs in persuading them to sleep, BUT I do recommend a fabric wrap sling while the baby is small, so you can wrap him up and he will snuggle in and sleep letting you do something else. And bonus is you can put baby in a sling even straight after a section.

Mishtabel, what a nightmare the eating thing must be. My children never sleep, but I've had no eating issues (other than fussy 3 year old now... normal methinks). I am reassured by your feeding Bella to sleep, btw. People around me are acting shocked that I am still bf. Even the pro-bf health visitor started on about moving to cows milk when DD2 is 1. I nodded and ignored. It is my favourite way of dealing with unwelcome advice...

Numpty, hope Josie's okay. How is DS by the way? did you get the potty training all done?

Does anyone else feel quite emotional when a thread baby arrives??? Rachel, Catlady, Coffee, exciting times ahead. Catlady you MUST be having a girl. Or our thread will be seriously gender-imbalanced....