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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pissed off at DH making breakfast

553 replies

SecretEater23 · 11/06/2023 10:28

I've been heavy for much of my adult life, nothing horrendous but definitely gained a lot over covid. Ended up with a bmi of 31 this winter and completely shaken by the death of a colleague (heart attack at 52 leaving partner and kids behind) I decided enough's enough.

Started keeping a food diary and my god, the amount of crap (biscuits, chocolate, crisps, sugar etc) I ate without really registering it in my mind was crazy.

I've managed to shift 7kg so far in 3 months, mostly by cutting out anything between meals, stopping drinking at home and going for a brisk walk as many days as I can.

I still struggle a bit with needing to rely a lot on willpower to resist biscuits with tea, snacks on the sofa watching Netflix and wine of a weekend etc.

My DH just doesn't really seem to want to help, constant offers of "do you want a glass of wine?", "I've got a big bag of crisps you wanna watch a movie" etc. He's never really struggled with weight and I'm not saying this is impossibly hard but 3 months in and it's still requiring a good level of effort to eat healthily and resist my old habits.

This morning, out for a brisk walk with the dog, come back, told DH I was going to stop by the local shop to get some bananas so I could have banana on toast when I got back.

I come in to a fired breakfast.... "it's Sunday, I thought you'd appreciate it" 🤬🤬🤬

Cue a big row about me being pissed off with his lack of support and constant offers of food/drink he knows I'm trying to cut down on.

He's off in the huff, making noises about only trying to be kind and how I'm being ungrateful and it's not like I'm an alcoholic and he's one of those pals desperate for a night out and trying to get me to drink again..... Twat.

Fried breakfast in the food bin and I've just eaten toast and banana.

I know I'm not BU but just wanted to rant

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
SunnySaturdayMorning · 11/06/2023 14:03

WhichWitchWillBeWhich · 11/06/2023 14:02

She’s not being hard on herself, Op has lost loads of weight already. If she wants banana on toast she can have banana on toast.
This thread isn’t about the merits of low carb it’s about her DH undermining her.

I cannot believe the PP about the butter in the beans. I hope you kicked his sorry arse out the door?

Show quote history

DH didn’t stop her having her banana breakfast. He offered her a fry up. She only had to say no if she didn’t want it.

LaGiaconda · 11/06/2023 14:04

Contents of a popular brand of sausage...

Pork (42%), Water, Rusk (Wheat), Pork Fat, Starch (Wheat), Soya Protein, Salt, Stabilisers: Diphosphates, Guar Gum, Flavourings, Preservative: Sodium Metabisulphite, Antioxidants: Ascorbic Acid, Alpha Tocopherol, Colour: Carmine, Casing: Beef Collagen, A vegetable-based ingredient that helps keep our sausages ...

AutumnCrow · 11/06/2023 14:05

SunnySaturdayMorning · 11/06/2023 14:03

DH didn’t stop her having her banana breakfast. He offered her a fry up. She only had to say no if she didn’t want it.

Show quote history

She did. He sulked.

Tiredanddistracted · 11/06/2023 14:06

SunnySaturdayMorning · 11/06/2023 14:03

DH didn’t stop her having her banana breakfast. He offered her a fry up. She only had to say no if she didn’t want it.

Show quote history

Again. He didn't offer it. He went ahead and made it for her, despite knowing she wanted something else.

AutumnCrow · 11/06/2023 14:07

LaGiaconda · 11/06/2023 14:04

Contents of a popular brand of sausage...

Pork (42%), Water, Rusk (Wheat), Pork Fat, Starch (Wheat), Soya Protein, Salt, Stabilisers: Diphosphates, Guar Gum, Flavourings, Preservative: Sodium Metabisulphite, Antioxidants: Ascorbic Acid, Alpha Tocopherol, Colour: Carmine, Casing: Beef Collagen, A vegetable-based ingredient that helps keep our sausages ...

Yup, full of carbs. ALERT THE CHURCH ELDERS.

And bacon is full of nitrite and nitrite. Ugh.

WhichWitchWillBeWhich · 11/06/2023 14:07

LaGiaconda · 11/06/2023 14:04

Contents of a popular brand of sausage...

Pork (42%), Water, Rusk (Wheat), Pork Fat, Starch (Wheat), Soya Protein, Salt, Stabilisers: Diphosphates, Guar Gum, Flavourings, Preservative: Sodium Metabisulphite, Antioxidants: Ascorbic Acid, Alpha Tocopherol, Colour: Carmine, Casing: Beef Collagen, A vegetable-based ingredient that helps keep our sausages ...

Oh but…but…but it’ll keep you more full for longer unlike a nasty sugary banana, dontcha know.

Namechangedagain20 · 11/06/2023 14:07

SunnySaturdayMorning · 11/06/2023 14:02

YABVU. He made a fry up and offered you it too. He didn’t take your choice away 🙄 because you still had the option to make your boring banana breakfast.

Honestly, you’re being ridiculous. If you don’t want it, just say no. Don’t expect everyone else to pander about because you struggle with self control.

She had already told him what she was having for breakfast. She wasn’t asking him to pander to her, he could have made himself a breakfast without making her one. He chose to ignore her. The OP isn’t the problem here.

When you’re trying to eat healthily and make better choices and some keeps offering you fatty crap food it’s very frustrating.

AutumnCrow · 11/06/2023 14:08

She wanted a fucking banana.

buellerbuellerbueller · 11/06/2023 14:08

AutumnCrow · 11/06/2023 13:00

If this thread is the reaction to a woman wanting a fucking banana then I'm not surprised we're where we are with women's rights.

This⬆

WhichWitchWillBeWhich · 11/06/2023 14:09

AutumnCrow · 11/06/2023 14:08

She wanted a fucking banana.

😆😂🤣 that would make a good username

Smartnugget · 11/06/2023 14:09

LaGiaconda · 11/06/2023 14:04

Contents of a popular brand of sausage...

Pork (42%), Water, Rusk (Wheat), Pork Fat, Starch (Wheat), Soya Protein, Salt, Stabilisers: Diphosphates, Guar Gum, Flavourings, Preservative: Sodium Metabisulphite, Antioxidants: Ascorbic Acid, Alpha Tocopherol, Colour: Carmine, Casing: Beef Collagen, A vegetable-based ingredient that helps keep our sausages ...

Quite. If you buy sausages with those ingredients. You can easily make a better choice though.

EdinaCrump · 11/06/2023 14:09

I think you’ll find the people who prefer to eat more protein and fat, the bacon, egg and sausages are not the overweight people.

If you do truly want to lose weight stop eating grains. No sugar. No flour. No rice.

And no bananas (bananas are no better than a mars bar, the body converts both to sugar and practically nothing else).

If you want some vitamin c eat berries.

Tiredanddistracted · 11/06/2023 14:11

EdinaCrump · 11/06/2023 14:09

I think you’ll find the people who prefer to eat more protein and fat, the bacon, egg and sausages are not the overweight people.

If you do truly want to lose weight stop eating grains. No sugar. No flour. No rice.

And no bananas (bananas are no better than a mars bar, the body converts both to sugar and practically nothing else).

If you want some vitamin c eat berries.

That weird sound you may be able to hear is the point, whooshing over your head.

Coolhwip · 11/06/2023 14:11

Namechangedagain20 · 11/06/2023 13:26

To those posters picking at the OP's choice of unrefined carbohydrates over fried proteins (never mind the nitrate-rich, bowel cancer-inducing bacon and sausages) - you're missing the OP's point

I was going to say this. In what world is fried sausage better than whole meal toast? It’s ridiculous. The posters going on about the protein are ignoring that a fried sausage is just plain unhealthy. It’d make sense if they were telling the OP to add something like boiled or poached egg.

And I don’t get why people are going on at the OP for wasting food? Her husband wasted food not her. She told him what she was having, he ignored it and cooked her something unhealthy. That’s not doing something nice for her, it’s completely undermining her choices.

@SecretEater23 Ive been doing similar to you, cutting out snacks of crap foods and trying to make better food choices, plus walking more. Also due to general future health concerns. DH was still picking me up ice cream, chocolate etc at first, but he’s stopped now. I started 4 months ago and lost 5.5kg so far (I need to lose another 3). I do now allow my self a small treat on the evening (like those single finger twirls or a couple of biscuits) and it has helped to stop the cravings in the day, I think because I know I’m getting a treat later. I just watch my saturated fat levels more

I low carb, eat 3 lovely meals a day, no calorie counting.

You can keep your whole meal toast, I’ll take protein and veg any day.

WhichWitchWillBeWhich · 11/06/2023 14:13

And no bananas (bananas are no better than a mars bar, the body converts both to sugar and practically nothing else).

Ha ha ha gotta love Mumsnet.

Cheesyfootballs01 · 11/06/2023 14:14

Greentree1 · 11/06/2023 13:07

Couldn't you have just eaten a bit of the fried breakfast instead of the toast and banana? And not eaten much lunch later. He was trying to be nice, no need to make it into a drama.

Oh of course! She must be kind to the nice man who cooked a fry up that OP explicitly said she didn’t want because she was having banana and toast….

Fuck that - she doesn’t have to anything she doesn’t want too..

The misogyny on this thread…. Jesus Christ.

Curseofthenation · 11/06/2023 14:14

YANBU. I would have offered the breakfast to a DC though and not kicked up a big fuss. It would have been more productive to firmly set out that you don't want him to offer or make you unhealthy foods.

JeanRondeausMadHair · 11/06/2023 14:17

Pyewhacket · 11/06/2023 13:37

Take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming other ppl.

WTF?

nokidshere · 11/06/2023 14:18

I'm going to find out more about this carbs/calorie vs protein thing. TBH, not done any research into this stuff. Just cut out the junk and started a bit more exercise

For my daily 'healthy cooked breakfast' I have a sausage, 2 rashers of bacon, two slices of sourdough bread, 2 poached eggs, tinned tomatoes and sometimes mushrooms. All cooked (apart from the eggs) in the air fryer. I'm retired so I eat it mid morning and it keeps me full until dinner time when I have a protein (chicken or salmon) veggies and a small amount of new potatoes.

Cooked breakfast, not fried, is really filling, healthy and doesn't make me feel like I am dieting. I use nutracheck to keep a check on the calories. Good luck.

Oh, and I'd take 2 hot buttered slices of toast with banana over cooked breakfast any day lol but the cooked breakfast is better.

nokidshere · 11/06/2023 14:20

Oh and tell dh to stop making you food you don't want. If he does just leave it. Hopefully he will get the message quicker but it's his problem not yours.

LaGiaconda · 11/06/2023 14:27

Am always puzzled about how the high protein low carb feel about killing so many animals.

Also unless people are very well off eating high quality meat and fish daily - or more than daily - is a pricey option.

So we are talking factory farmed, intensively reared, high in antibiotics, water injected, bulked out etc etc.

Which does not appeal....

diddl · 11/06/2023 14:28

He offered her a fry up. She only had to say no if she didn’t want it.

He didn't offer it though did he?

He decided that that was what she wanted & made it for her.

Even though she had already told him what she was having for breakfast.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 11/06/2023 14:29

The number of people on this thread who don't recognise a food pusher...

nidgey · 11/06/2023 14:32

Matildahoney · 11/06/2023 11:53

With half of the breakfast and no fried bread you're likely to not eat again until dinner time as the protein will keep you full.
Banana on toast will keep the hungry at bay for a short while and you're likely to have lunch as well.

Shock horror - having lunch! What's wrong with having lunch then?

Cheesyfootballs01 · 11/06/2023 14:32

buellerbuellerbueller · 11/06/2023 14:08

This⬆

Show quote history

This!!

Honestly some of the attitudes on this thread is actually worrying. Not the people arguing about which is the better breakfast ( that’s expected on MN ) but the whole ‘ he’s only being nice you should have eaten it’ which is basically saying don’t upset the precious men…

Its not nice or caring of him to totally ignore the OP when she’s specifically said she is getting bananas to have for breakfast and to then present her with a plate of fry up - it’s controlling shitty behaviour.