Pissed off at DH making breakfast

Wow, angry or what! You ARE asking him to change his habits though. You're asking him to consistently think about your diet and to remember your new rules. I've read your thread. Obviously it doesn't include every detail of every conversation. I get you're annoyed he has 'over ridden' your choice to have bananas on toast, he shouldn't have done that, but it sounds like you exploded at him. You've agreed it's been cumulative but surely you can see he IS having to change his habits. Six months ago if hed offered you half a bag of crisps which you'd have wolfed down! You'll have sat on the couch munching biscuits. He needs to adjust too.
I'm wondering if this recent death has affected you more than you realise. Perhaps you're angry at yourself for letting this happen.
I'll let the insult go. I can see you have a lit on your plate....though hopefully low cal and nutritious

How can he "struggling to catch up" when in this case Op told him she was off to buy bananas to have for breakfast?

To those posters picking at the OP's choice of unrefined carbohydrates over fried proteins (never mind the nitrate-rich, bowel cancer-inducing bacon and sausages) - you're missing the OP's point

I was going to say this. In what world is fried sausage better than whole meal toast? It’s ridiculous. The posters going on about the protein are ignoring that a fried sausage is just plain unhealthy. It’d make sense if they were telling the OP to add something like boiled or poached egg.

And I don’t get why people are going on at the OP for wasting food? Her husband wasted food not her. She told him what she was having, he ignored it and cooked her something unhealthy. That’s not doing something nice for her, it’s completely undermining her choices.

@SecretEater23 Ive been doing similar to you, cutting out snacks of crap foods and trying to make better food choices, plus walking more. Also due to general future health concerns. DH was still picking me up ice cream, chocolate etc at first, but he’s stopped now. I started 4 months ago and lost 5.5kg so far (I need to lose another 3). I do now allow my self a small treat on the evening (like those single finger twirls or a couple of biscuits) and it has helped to stop the cravings in the day, I think because I know I’m getting a treat later. I just watch my saturated fat levels more

Think someone might be hangry!

Take responsibility for yourself and stop blaming other ppl.

I've had similar struggles with my DP - he does all the cooking currently as I can't (hopefully by the end of the year that'll change as I am having my kitchen adapted!)...

I cut out all the snacky shit - biscuits, crisps, pastries, cakes.

Breakfast is a protein works shake.

Lunch is crispbreads, cucumber/pepper/carrot sticks/tomatoes (a selection of not all of them every time) hummus or cottage cheese, sometimes a hard boiled egg.

Dinner is - generally sensible, ideally not mega carby, includes veg. So the last few days its been a salad, home-made dressing, quorn thing sliced up/halloumi - last night it was a 'burger'... flat mushroom griddled with halloumi, on a burger bun with the usual salad/relish etc - crinkle chips. Fruit for after.

This is working, my blood sugar is lower, insulin intake is lower, fluid retention improved, so going in the right direction... but...

He keeps offering all the shit I cut out. In the first few weeks he would bring home biscuits, cakes, crisps and put them down next to me.

Him: I got you this! big grin

Me: No thankyou I said I wasn't having that sort of stuff now.

Him: Aww, I was just being nice.

Me: Nice is not offering me things I am trying bloody hard not to have, is it?

Him: But you like it...

He has improved but honestly, subconciously, the idea that ill change, he does not like. He likes things to stay the same, change scares him.

He is still doing things like... twice as much food on the plate as I have asked for. Making a shake he's supposed to do half milk half water, i find he's doing it all milk without telling me. Butter on things that don't need it.
He brought home a HUGE packet of milk and honey shortbread biscuits the other day and presented them to me like the holy fucking grail!

Its all a very long winded way of saying 'i get it'...

It wouldn't matter what the food choices HE makes for me, were - the point is I've asked for something/to not do something, and he KEEPS trying to do the thing I've asked not to do.

That isn't ok. It wouldn't be ok if I'd decided to eat a cake and he was offering salad!

So its irrelevant that the high protein fried breakfast (or at least some of it!) was a better choice than high sugar/high carb bananas on toast.

He isn't listening and respecting your choices - he's trying to force his choices on you, and getting shirty when you advocate for yourself.

(But do look up the carbs/sugar and tweak it a bit, you may well find your sugar cravings drop a lot if you can balance that out and avoid BG swings!)

Just sounds like communication issues. People who haven’t really struggled with weight have no grasp of how darn difficult it is to be resisting on comfort foods etc. that doesn’t make him inconsiderate, just naive and perhaps needs reiterating that it is counter productive for you.

It sounds like he was eager to share a lovely meal with you, for quality time and to make you happy that he went to the effort. This is very ungrateful. A compromise is always best - next Sunday make a lean fry up to still have the same experience for the both of you. Lean grilled sausages, tomatoes, mushrooms, maybe some low sugar beans or homemade hash browns. It is teamwork.

OP "it's not like I'm an alcoholic and he's one of those pals desperate for a night out and trying to get me to drink again....."

I'm fat and I feel like people are doing exactly that with their "go on, have some cake" etc.

It sounds like you're doing great OP. I do think it's worth having a frank conversation with him about it and how important it is to you.

The problem is people trying to lose weight are often focused on food regardless! I've always loved food and spent ages cooking, it's a real passion. I used to eat whatever I liked and stay rail thin. But when i hit my late 40s and menopause that ceased to be the case. Great to be someone who isn't that interested in food, but to me it's always been one of the primary components of a happy and fulfilled existence! And your mum's approach can work, but not necessarily - seeing food as a chore can lead to very poor food choices, even if not in your mum's case. That's the whole basis of a healthy Mediterranean diet - food as pleasure and sociability, not fuel.

As for the quantities, I'm actually a healthy weight. I recently lost a stubborn 2kg that I wanted to shift, but I was always well within healthy bmi. The glucose goddess is v interesting on calories. Obviously if you eat 5000 calories of butter a day you'll gain weight, but her contention is that if you eat to appetite (mine is quite high!) on high veg/high protein/low carb food, you can still lose weight. This I have found to be the case.

I do think YABU a little as you could have handled it differently but I understand this from both perspectives.

Sometimes healthy eating does require a lot of will power and having a full English handed on a plate (literally) can be hard to say no. However it’s not his ‘fault’ and you know how you could have say ‘no thanks’ differently.

I’d also add from being v slim my weight crept up to higher end of BMI. When I told DH I was on a health kick he doesn’t tempt me but if I’m honest it’s also because he prefers me smaller. What I’m saying is I read it that your partner doesn’t mind what size you are 👍

Good luck 💪

It's utterly mad how many people think its OK for the OP's husband to dictate her food choices.

Because this is essentially what he's done here.

Erm that's what she did?

This. I wouldn’t let my dog eat any of the rubbish I eat.

I would give my dog a bit of fried breakfast very occasionally. Yes it's too salty, but he'd love it, and just like with humans, it's about your whole, regular diet. My dog is very fit and healthy and if anything struggles to keep weight on. A bit of sausage and fried egg from time to time isn't going to harm him.

But that's exactly what OP is trying to do!

You still need to treat yourself every now and again. What you don't want is to be craving foods your denying yourself then having a huge pig out. I would have eaten the breakfast. Once a week isn't going to make much difference to your weight loss.

OP - I get why you're frustrated by some posts, but your obvious horror at FRIED IN OIL is a bit misplaced. Oil is not inherently bad for you (dependingon what kind), and eating lots of fat doesn't make you any fatter than eating lots of carbs. At least fat is filling. Refined carbs just make you get hungry again really quickly (for more carbs!).

I'm coeliac.

All the fucking time.

I was amazed at how little my DH (who has no weight issues) knew about healthy eating until recently. I would have been annoyed in your shoes, definitely. It might be worth sitting down with him and running through the “rules” of whatever plan you are following, and asking for his support. I read a really helpful book (Atomic Habits) which talks about how important it is to have support from/accountability to those closest to you, if you’re going to successfully change habits in the long term.
Good luck with it - you’ve made amazing progress so far and it must have taken willpower not to eat the fry up so well done for that too! Keep it up - it’s definitely worth it!

I really don’t think we are crazy. My bmi is 21 and has been for 3 years after losing a lot of weight and for me, the fry up (minus the bread) is the best choice to stabilise blood sugar and not need to eat again 4 hours later.

You might make a different choice, which is fine- but it doesn’t make the rest of us managing to sustain a healthy weight and eat fry ups crazy.

I think you've misread. She said the number of people preferring the option was crazy- a colloquial way to suggest how shocked she is at the amount. Not that the people themselves are crazy.

YABVU. He made a fry up and offered you it too. He didn’t take your choice away 🙄 because you still had the option to make your boring banana breakfast.

Honestly, you’re being ridiculous. If you don’t want it, just say no. Don’t expect everyone else to pander about because you struggle with self control.

She’s not being hard on herself, Op has lost loads of weight already. If she wants banana on toast she can have banana on toast.
This thread isn’t about the merits of low carb it’s about her DH undermining her.

I cannot believe the PP about the butter in the beans. I hope you kicked his sorry arse out the door?

But he didn't offer it? He made it for her and presented her with the plate as a fait accompli. Despite her having told him that she was going to have something different.