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Original poster

Pissed off at DH making breakfast

553 replies

SecretEater23 · 11/06/2023 10:28

I've been heavy for much of my adult life, nothing horrendous but definitely gained a lot over covid. Ended up with a bmi of 31 this winter and completely shaken by the death of a colleague (heart attack at 52 leaving partner and kids behind) I decided enough's enough.

Started keeping a food diary and my god, the amount of crap (biscuits, chocolate, crisps, sugar etc) I ate without really registering it in my mind was crazy.

I've managed to shift 7kg so far in 3 months, mostly by cutting out anything between meals, stopping drinking at home and going for a brisk walk as many days as I can.

I still struggle a bit with needing to rely a lot on willpower to resist biscuits with tea, snacks on the sofa watching Netflix and wine of a weekend etc.

My DH just doesn't really seem to want to help, constant offers of "do you want a glass of wine?", "I've got a big bag of crisps you wanna watch a movie" etc. He's never really struggled with weight and I'm not saying this is impossibly hard but 3 months in and it's still requiring a good level of effort to eat healthily and resist my old habits.

This morning, out for a brisk walk with the dog, come back, told DH I was going to stop by the local shop to get some bananas so I could have banana on toast when I got back.

I come in to a fired breakfast.... "it's Sunday, I thought you'd appreciate it" 🤬🤬🤬

Cue a big row about me being pissed off with his lack of support and constant offers of food/drink he knows I'm trying to cut down on.

He's off in the huff, making noises about only trying to be kind and how I'm being ungrateful and it's not like I'm an alcoholic and he's one of those pals desperate for a night out and trying to get me to drink again..... Twat.

Fried breakfast in the food bin and I've just eaten toast and banana.

I know I'm not BU but just wanted to rant

OP posts:
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6
EbonyRaven · 15/06/2023 09:10

@zombie0037

If it was the husband that was on a diet and had a strop at the wife for cooking a breakfast, you would all be saying what ungrateful dick, and that he is very controlling guaranteed.

Oh do stop talking nonsense. 🙄 Your point is moot and irrelevant anyway, as no woman would do what the OP's husband did!

Not a single woman I know would cook a massive fuck-off fried breakfast for her husband if said he was on a strict diet and was just going to have a little bit of fruit on toast. Who DOES that FFS? The only reason they would do it is because they don't want that person to be successful in their weight loss. And THAT is why the OP's husband did this. It was not to 'be kind' or to 'be nice.' And then sulking and stamping his feet like a toddler because she refused to eat it?! WTAF? Confused He should be ashamed of himself. Disgusting, manipulative, childish behaviour.

I bet a month's salary that he does fuck-all around the house. If he wants to 'be kind' he can pull his finger out around the house and do some domestic chores. With most men though, their idea of 'helping' is doing the washing up once a month, and doing a massive fried breakfast his partner didn't ask for, or getting some other high carb/high fat food for her... (usually when she's on a diet.) Seen this SO many times on here, and in real life.

As I said, no woman I know would do this (cook a massive fried breakfast for their man,) if he said he was trying to lose weight and only wanted fruit on toast. Moreover, most women have enough to do, without cooking a huge cooked breakfast for someone who didn't bastard want it.

It's only men that prepare, (and provide) massive amounts of food for women who are trying to lose weight, and try to goad them and bully them into eating it. Then sulk and pout like a fucking toddler when she doesn't want the food SHE DID NOT ASK FOR.

SOME men just can't stand the thought of his woman losing weight, and her being more confident, and being more attractive to other men. And her actually having strong willpower and taking control of something in her life that HE has no control over.

lastminutewednesday · 15/06/2023 09:23

I see where you are coming from. DH is a great cook and it's his favourite thing to make lovely meals for us at weekends. As such he doesn't skimp on carbs or think about the calories of what he's made.
I'm trying to eat in calorie defecit and low carb and doing well with it, but it's doubly hard to do when someone has lovingly made you a beautiful breakfast and it looks delicious but you really want to stick to plan.
Occasionally I've been guilty of giving the dog a lovely breakfast of Sunday surreptitiously to avoid hurting DH's feelings! However I've talked to him about what I'm doing re weight loss, and sort of said ' I really fancy a big old fancy fruit salad/poached eggs /whatever is healthy and he has taken it as a sort of challenge to make really nice healthy things-which is winner for us both as we actually both could do with losing a few pounds (but I'd never tell him that either as he is sensitive about his weight!)

captainmarvella · 15/06/2023 10:53

EbonyRaven · 15/06/2023 09:10

@zombie0037

If it was the husband that was on a diet and had a strop at the wife for cooking a breakfast, you would all be saying what ungrateful dick, and that he is very controlling guaranteed.

Oh do stop talking nonsense. 🙄 Your point is moot and irrelevant anyway, as no woman would do what the OP's husband did!

Not a single woman I know would cook a massive fuck-off fried breakfast for her husband if said he was on a strict diet and was just going to have a little bit of fruit on toast. Who DOES that FFS? The only reason they would do it is because they don't want that person to be successful in their weight loss. And THAT is why the OP's husband did this. It was not to 'be kind' or to 'be nice.' And then sulking and stamping his feet like a toddler because she refused to eat it?! WTAF? Confused He should be ashamed of himself. Disgusting, manipulative, childish behaviour.

I bet a month's salary that he does fuck-all around the house. If he wants to 'be kind' he can pull his finger out around the house and do some domestic chores. With most men though, their idea of 'helping' is doing the washing up once a month, and doing a massive fried breakfast his partner didn't ask for, or getting some other high carb/high fat food for her... (usually when she's on a diet.) Seen this SO many times on here, and in real life.

As I said, no woman I know would do this (cook a massive fried breakfast for their man,) if he said he was trying to lose weight and only wanted fruit on toast. Moreover, most women have enough to do, without cooking a huge cooked breakfast for someone who didn't bastard want it.

It's only men that prepare, (and provide) massive amounts of food for women who are trying to lose weight, and try to goad them and bully them into eating it. Then sulk and pout like a fucking toddler when she doesn't want the food SHE DID NOT ASK FOR.

SOME men just can't stand the thought of his woman losing weight, and her being more confident, and being more attractive to other men. And her actually having strong willpower and taking control of something in her life that HE has no control over.

OP's updates about her husband:

Yes, he does a lot of cooking.
(11/06/2023 10:45)

As it turns out, he's apologised and we've had a chat about my outburst being less about the breakfast and more about the last few months coming to a head.
11/06/2023 12:20

@EbonyRaven you have lost your month's salary.

Better not to project your issues to other's people's lives.

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