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AIBU?

Husband left me sleeping in hot car

471 replies

BlueNavy · 18/06/2023 22:38

We went out for lunch today. Husband drove home and I fell asleep in the passenger seat. We got home and him and the children all went inside, leaving me in the hot car parked in direct sunlight with all the windows up and doors closed. I only woke up about 15mins when my son came to look for something. I was boiling hot when I woke up and was so angry he'd left me there.

We'd had an argument earlier and I almost think he did it on purpose. He says he didn't know I was asleep and thought I was just sitting in the car for a while. I'd been sleeping with my head drooping forward about 10 miles so I think it would have been obvious. He says oh i told you "we're home" and you ignored me. I was flippin' asleep!

I'm upset what could have happened if I'd been there longer in that heat. There's no way I would leave a child in a hot car with windows all up so I don't see why he thinks it's OK to do it to me. AIBU? Thank you

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

2243 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
52%
You are NOT being unreasonable
48%
BlueNavy · 18/06/2023 22:40

Sorry the title is meant to be "husband left me sleeping in hot car". Can't work out how to change it

OP posts:
WhisperingAutistic · 18/06/2023 22:42

What would have happened to you?
Surely you would just have woken up too hot and then got out? Unless he locked you in?

Daffodil92 · 18/06/2023 22:42

I think you’re being a little bit dramatic. You’re an adult, more able to regulate your own temperature than a baby, I’m quite sure you wouldn’t have died.
It does sound like he’s been a bit petty/spiteful after your row. I think you’re both being unreasonable.

Ace56 · 18/06/2023 22:43

I don’t see the problem if the car was unlocked? If you were overheating you’d wake up.

AromanticSpices · 18/06/2023 22:43

Bollocks did he not realise.
Don't think anything particularly bad would've happened tho.

Tryingtryingandtrying · 18/06/2023 22:43

I don't think anything awful would have happened unless you were v drunk or something so more than just asleep

Jupiter15 · 18/06/2023 22:43

If this is real, YANBU. You could have died!

AnonKat · 18/06/2023 22:44

You're an adult, not a child. Unless there is a drip feed of him locking you in, then I think you need to take some responsibility.

How did you sleep through your husband and children leaving the car? I mean he could have tried to wake you, as you clearly sleep through alot of noise.

Daffodil92 · 18/06/2023 22:44

Jupiter15 · 18/06/2023 22:43

If this is real, YANBU. You could have died!

Oh come off it. 🙄

WhisperingAutistic · 18/06/2023 22:44

Jupiter15 · 18/06/2023 22:43

If this is real, YANBU. You could have died!

How?
You wake up if you are too hot.

Hotandverybotheredagain · 18/06/2023 22:45

As an adult you would wake up and leave the car 🤷‍♀️

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/06/2023 22:45

I think you would have just woken up! I don’t think it’s any big drama tbh

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/06/2023 22:45

It's really mean. And does speak to your DH not really caring about you.

Is that his resting state or is this out of character?

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 18/06/2023 22:46

Assuming you are sober, you would wake up before anything happened to you.

TallerThanAverage · 18/06/2023 22:46

How did you not wake when everyone got out and closed their car doors?

Testina · 18/06/2023 22:46

You have a grown adult thermoregulatory system, so I very much doubt he did this thinking anything medically awful was going to happen.

If he was leaving you to ignore you as he was cross, that’s nasty. But then I’d expect someone to have woken up with the stopping of the car and at least 2 car doors being opened and closed… so I can believe that he thought you were awake and choosing to stay out there - because of the same argument?

So this is one that I think is better considered in context - what’s he usually like?

Avondale89 · 18/06/2023 22:46

You would have been ok, but it’s a weird thing to do. I’d never leave my partner in the car if he fell asleep! Seems weirdly vindictive.

SummerInSun · 18/06/2023 22:50

I think it's nice of him to think that he'll let you stay and finish your nap and wake up in your own time - I hate being woken out of a deep sleep and would much rather come around naturally. He would have been better to have left the window down though.

I very much doubt he didn't notice - I assume he's taking that line now because you are cross and he doesn't want to say that he knew you were asleep and thought you'd rather finish your nap.

MAREMCKENNA · 18/06/2023 22:50

The worst that would have happened was that you got a bit hot and woke up. Young children who are strapped in, and dogs are at risk of dying in a hot car if left because they can't get out and can't regulate their body temperatures very well. Not fully grown adults. You are being very dramatic.

YANBU to be annoyed that he clearly lied about knowing whether you were asleep or not as this would have been obvious. Even so, I think you're picking a fight over something a bit daft.

WandaWonder · 18/06/2023 22:53

You are a grown up, I think?

BlueNavy · 18/06/2023 22:53

Thanks, I don't think I would have died no but I think it's mean he just left me and didn't leave a window open. Just because I can regulate my body temp doesn't mean I couldn't have fainted from the heat or it was OK for him to do. I don't know how I slept through ppl getting out the car, I just did. People sleep through all sorts when tired.

OP posts:
Callipsi · 18/06/2023 22:54

Adults get heatstroke from falling asleep sunbathing so it’s not unreasonable to say the OP could have suffered the same.

mayorofcasterbridge · 18/06/2023 22:57

Life-threatening or not, it was just a shitty, nasty thing to do!

PuffinsRocks · 18/06/2023 23:00

Callipsi · 18/06/2023 22:54

Adults get heatstroke from falling asleep sunbathing so it’s not unreasonable to say the OP could have suffered the same.

This. Heatstroke is no laughing matter. Your DH was a twat OP. Next time he falls asleep in the car do the same.

DarkDarkNight · 18/06/2023 23:01

That’s a really weird, contemptuous thing for him to do. It’s not normal to leave someone asleep in a car, he’s behaving like a child.

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