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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU that veg should not be shared at the wedding?

314 replies

Fakirek · 12/03/2023 19:00

I have attended a wedding tasting menu and the food that we've chosen to try didn't impress us at all. We've spoken to the coordinator and mentioned that we didn't like the way the food was presented.

My main issue was that the main didn't come with veg on the plate. Instead, the food was served with a panache of veg in a big bowl which meant that guest would need to share it and pass it around at the table! This is apparently to ensure that the plate is clean and looks of a high standard when the food is served.

In my opinion, if the veg was served on a plate, it would help the presentation as it would give it a pop of colour the dishes lacked. Also, it'd be a bit awkward for the guest to share the veg like that as many of them won't know each other but the chef is not happy about serving it on a plate. Have you ever experienced something like this at the wedding?

AIBU to demand that the veg is served with the main and is not served in a big bowl and shared?

OP posts:
Ginbea · 12/03/2023 19:03

In my experience this is a totally normal way of serving food. I doubt anyone would give it a seconds thought.

MeinKraft · 12/03/2023 19:04

That's totally normal, I doubt you'll find another venue who does it differently.

FawnFrenchieMum · 12/03/2023 19:04

It’s fairly standard IMO to have a shared veg serving at formal dinners.
Not sure how big the wedding is, but large scale catering is never going to be amazing.

HadEnoughOfBears · 12/03/2023 19:04

The veg and potatoes are always in serving bowls aren't they? Just the meat is brought out already dishes onto individual plates IME

MeinKraft · 12/03/2023 19:05

What you could ask for, is the servers go round the table and dish out the veg.

Changingplace · 12/03/2023 19:05

Its completely normal for side veg to be served like this for a wedding or any kind of large event like a conference etc.

Have you been to many weddings? Nobody will think this is odd in the least, very typical.

Astralitzia · 12/03/2023 19:06

How much are you paying for the privilege of making your food look pretty? So much fuss about presentation.

Food is food. As long as it tastes good and isn't served on something stupid like a shovel, who cares. If I want pretty I'll go to the art gallery.

wibblewobbleball · 12/03/2023 19:06

Demand? Easy bridezilla 😆 I think it's fine to share vegetables for the main and in fact think it's much nicer than having your whole meal dished up for you. I honestly don't think your guests will give a shit about your plates having pops of colour. They will mostly care about how generous you are with the table wine.

wishingitwasfriday · 12/03/2023 19:06

The veg has been served this way at pretty
much every wedding or other sit down meal event that I've been too. Completely normal.

Forestdweller11 · 12/03/2023 19:06

Veg served in large servers on the table is very, very common and the norm. Serving yourself the veg is normal. Then you don't get a veg on your plate that you don't like. Another way would be silver service, that would be expensive.

clpsmum · 12/03/2023 19:06

That's the normal way

RudsyFarmer · 12/03/2023 19:06

I’ve helped cater weddings in a former life and you are right. Unless there is someone there to oversee the portion sizes you run the high risk of some guests over portioning leaning others with nothing.

If the venue insists then make sure they agree to replenish the vegetables if the guests over portion themselves.

CantFindTheBeat · 12/03/2023 19:07

What's a panache of veg, OP?

Is that a typo or am I out of touch?

burnoutbabe · 12/03/2023 19:07

Stuff like potatoes I'd assume would be served as someone is more likely to take more than their fair share - carrots not so much!

PuntasticUsername · 12/03/2023 19:07

Yabu. It's completely normal and you'll look weird making a fuss about it imo.

Most people can manage to pass a bowl of veg around the table. And sharing a meal is a powerful social ritual - it will help people get to know one another, and have a better time together.

The one tiny point on which YANBU is that some people might hog the roast potatoes, and this in itself is giving me enough anxiety that I may change my vote to YANBU at all.

Hercisback · 12/03/2023 19:08

This is normal.
Better for food waste too.

youshouldnthaveasked · 12/03/2023 19:08

If you were going to pay extra then I suppose you could ask. It is an extra job for someone to serve out all that veg individually

mynameiscalypso · 12/03/2023 19:09

God, you'd have hated our wedding. The starter, the veggies with the main and the desserts were served on platters which people passed round.

CantFindTheBeat · 12/03/2023 19:09

CantFindTheBeat · 12/03/2023 19:07

What's a panache of veg, OP?

Is that a typo or am I out of touch?

Ignore me, I've just googled.

Well there's a new term for me!

Talipesmum · 12/03/2023 19:09

Yep, normal. Been to plenty of weddings and formal meals like that.

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 12/03/2023 19:09

I would expect veg on the plates would cool quicker too.

MeinKraft · 12/03/2023 19:09

CantFindTheBeat · 12/03/2023 19:07

What's a panache of veg, OP?

Is that a typo or am I out of touch?

Vegetables served in a DD+ balcony bra?

Oysterbabe · 12/03/2023 19:10

This is a normal and much better way of serving food, people can just take what they want.

WandaWonder · 12/03/2023 19:12

The bride and groom would have known and agreed to the ser up

It is,normal whatchappened but regardless it was not your wedding so why would complain about something the hosts was involved in?

TeeBee · 12/03/2023 19:12

Oh lord...does it really matter??!

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