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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU that veg should not be shared at the wedding?

314 replies

Fakirek · 12/03/2023 19:00

I have attended a wedding tasting menu and the food that we've chosen to try didn't impress us at all. We've spoken to the coordinator and mentioned that we didn't like the way the food was presented.

My main issue was that the main didn't come with veg on the plate. Instead, the food was served with a panache of veg in a big bowl which meant that guest would need to share it and pass it around at the table! This is apparently to ensure that the plate is clean and looks of a high standard when the food is served.

In my opinion, if the veg was served on a plate, it would help the presentation as it would give it a pop of colour the dishes lacked. Also, it'd be a bit awkward for the guest to share the veg like that as many of them won't know each other but the chef is not happy about serving it on a plate. Have you ever experienced something like this at the wedding?

AIBU to demand that the veg is served with the main and is not served in a big bowl and shared?

OP posts:
Sisisimone · 12/03/2023 19:58

I think I've only had either silver service or fully plated when I've had sit down meals at weddings so I wouldnt say it's normal. I don't think it would bother me though, especially if I really liked the venue. Can you pay extra for silver service?

Snoken · 12/03/2023 19:58

I am not British but I have been to six British weddings and have never come across this. It has always been vegetables on the plate as they serve together with the rest of the dish. I agree that it makes the dish so much more appetising when there is some colour on it.

Swiftswatch · 12/03/2023 19:58

CrystalCoco · 12/03/2023 19:46

This MUST be a regional / country (as in England) 'thing' as I've never ever been to any wedding or black tie dinner where only the meat comes out on the plate and there's a sharing bowl of vegetables.

What fresh hell is this 😅
It's a big, fat no from me.

It’s not regional, you probably just have quite an insular social life.

Funkyslippers · 12/03/2023 20:00

I wouldn't mind having to share veg as last Ng as there were plenty to go round, maybe a few generous bowls per table. I just remember the bowl of potatoes being passed round at a wedding I went to and by the time it got to me & my partner there were only 2 each left. The chap before us had taken 4 😠

ShandaLear · 12/03/2023 20:00

That’s normal unless you’re having your wedding reception in a Wetherspoons.

Funkyslippers · 12/03/2023 20:00

*as long as

CaroleSinger · 12/03/2023 20:00

Bare in mind most of your guests will already be shyte faced by the time they eat.

PauliesWalnuts · 12/03/2023 20:00

I was a chef in a former life and catered 80-100 covers regularly. It is extremely hard plating up numbers like that - if we plated veg in addition, the food would have got cold, there would have been no room in the kitchen, and it would have taken 30 mins to serve everyone. It’s also the reason why you generally only get cold starters and desserts. If you’re worried about gannets, ask them to come round with a second serving of veg and pay the extra.

surreygirl1987 · 12/03/2023 20:01

I go to lotsnof black tie things and typically the vegetables are in bowls for people to help themselves to. Not regional at all - this is the case in London, on the South Coast, and also in Yorkshire!

RampantIvy · 12/03/2023 20:01

CrystalCoco · 12/03/2023 19:46

This MUST be a regional / country (as in England) 'thing' as I've never ever been to any wedding or black tie dinner where only the meat comes out on the plate and there's a sharing bowl of vegetables.

What fresh hell is this 😅
It's a big, fat no from me.

Every formal dinner I have been to has the vegetables in a big serving platter for people to help themselves.

I don't understand "what fresh hell" this would be. I would far rather my meal arrived piping hot rather than sat around in the kitchen getting cold while someone plates up vegetables on each individual plate.

It isn't regional BTW.

Lancrelady80 · 12/03/2023 20:02

Going against grain here, but not one of the weddings I have been to has had veg not on the plate I'm with OP on this one. (All less than 100 guests though, if that makes a difference.)

Silentmama · 12/03/2023 20:03

i think the veg would be warmer - it gives your guests a start to ao conversation

DappledThings · 12/03/2023 20:03

Just had a look at pictures of the Savoy Grill as the fanciest place for a roast I could think of off the top of my head. Definitely shows meat on plates and sharing dishes of veg on the side.

Silentmama · 12/03/2023 20:04

also you can avoid things you don't like

as for someone taking too much veg - the other guests can side eye them lol

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 12/03/2023 20:04

It is normal but I've literally never been to a wedding where the dinner didn't come out fully plated Confused. Confused so many of you have!

Original poster
Fakirek · 12/03/2023 20:04

I have been to quite a few weddings and no, I have never had to share veg with others. Didn't realise it was quite normal, but hey! We all learn.

As to the "panache of vegetables" - phrase - it was so frequently used by the coordinator and the chef that it'll be forever ingrained in my memory! 😂

OP posts:
CheshireDing · 12/03/2023 20:05

I have never had this at a wedding

Our wedding was a Michelin chef and he had already plated everything up (which is definitely better). As others have said what if some greedy buggers take more than their share. You will have still paid ££ per head for the people who have veg scraps

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 12/03/2023 20:05

Lancrelady80 · 12/03/2023 20:02

Going against grain here, but not one of the weddings I have been to has had veg not on the plate I'm with OP on this one. (All less than 100 guests though, if that makes a difference.)

Just said the same. I know it's not unusual in some restaurants.

Daisybee6 · 12/03/2023 20:06

Aslong as they're happy to top up the veg if it runs out I don't see the problem

You wouldn't want everyone helping themselves and there being none left for some guests

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 12/03/2023 20:06

DappledThings · 12/03/2023 20:03

Just had a look at pictures of the Savoy Grill as the fanciest place for a roast I could think of off the top of my head. Definitely shows meat on plates and sharing dishes of veg on the side.

A wedding breakfast isn't really comparable to a roast though is it? Even if it is the Savoy!

Unbridezilla · 12/03/2023 20:06

I agree with you OP.

Chefs prefer it as they can plate up loads of meat, which takes it's own sweet time to get to the tables and be good to eat. Veg on the plate means it needs to be served quIt's kly and therefore more staff. It's cheaper.

I'm having veg served on the plate.

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 12/03/2023 20:07

I've never been to a wedding or a function where the veg has been plated. There's reasons for it, it allows people to food quicker and warmer food.

It's not a carvery!

Sceptre86 · 12/03/2023 20:09

Normal in my book. It also means that if dinner gets delayed because of whatever reason they are not having to take the veg off plates to reheat and then add it again, making the serving of the meal slower. It will also encourage people to talk to each other as they pass the veg around which is presumably what you want to happen rather than strangers sat at a table awkwardly.

MyMumSaysALot · 12/03/2023 20:10

When I attended my niece’s wedding a decade ago, they served steak & veg on individual plates.
When the server served mine, she didn’t place it - she half-threw it, half-slammed it, and the string beans flew up and off the plate.
Serving veg in a communal bowl saves them from from aggressive wait staff, too.

Honeyroar · 12/03/2023 20:10

I’m with the OP too. I’ve never been to a wedding where the veg and potatoes weren’t plated. I actually think it would spoil the look of a wedding table to have lots of dishes. Yes I have been to many restaurants and functions that did bowl served veg too. I also worked for a major airline in first class for many years, with menus devised by top chefs. We always plated vegetables and were trained to present them with flair to add to the appearance of the plate/meal. So I understand what the OP means. But I can also understand that some chefs wouldn’t be able to do that with a large number of meals going out at once, and would find it easier to dump veg in bowls instead.