AIBU that veg should not be shared at the wedding?

This isn't very nice.

Totally normal for any wedding I've been at!

I waitressed at weddings in my teens a long time ago, where we used to do silver service and would plate veg individually on each plate. But the plates still came out with just the meat on them!

Amazon Answer: I haven't been to any weddings yet, so I don't know.

⭐⭐

I wouldn't eat it so if in a shared bowl someone else will get my share. Much better idea for people to take what they want.

As I said yesterday, at ds1’s wedding, the food was fully plated - and it was not cold - as other posters have said, if the plates are hot, the food will stay hot.

I honestly wouldn't worry about your guests judging you on how the veg is served, @Fakirek - but it is your wedding, so if you prefer the meals to be fully plated, then the venue should accommodate that.

But please don’t worry - you and your guests will have a lovely day either way.

As far as I have ever experienced this is a usual way to serve food. No-one will think it odd at all. You could have waiters go round the table serving veg to each guest; that's also normal but will probably cost extra. Make sure veg will be replenished if some guests take too much (this will cost extra, but is worth it to keep the guests happy). Sharing the dishes will make it possible for people to talk, too, in what is a formal situation. 'Can you pass the peas, please' is a good ice breaker!

I posted after that to clarify

What is a panache of vegetables, please?

Both ways are normal.
Neither is inherently posher than the other.
What this tells me is that the venue is not a huge place set up for big events with a separate banqueting kitchen. These places can offer the choice.
It takes a lot more space and an extra chef or two to get the veg plated as well and out in a reasonable time.
Some big banqueting venues are lovely refined fine dining establishments some are ghastly, cheap conveyor belt venues. Some venues prefer to share veg as it is a nice, friendly way of eating, some pick it so they can under portion. Some small venues are beautiful, intimate and classy, some are not.
OP if it's too late to change venue (assuming the vegetables are that important to you) then your best bet would be to ask for silver service, the waitresses will serve it to the guests. This costs more as it requires more and specially trained waiting staff but it means your guests won't have to pass dishes.
I'm sure it will be a lovely day and your guests will love it either way.

I was referring to the terminology you know 🙄

Perfectly normal and I would have thought most people would prefer this.
I went to a very small wedding (16 guests) and was served a fully plated meal and I asked the server if I could have mine without gravy which it was swimming in. He took the plate away and brought the same plate back telling me it wasn't possible as everything had been plated.
I don't mind a small amount of gravy but hate my dinner swimming in it. So always gravy in boats/jugs on the table is a must for me although I know it insisted to keep meat warm.

If you are having Silver Service they should definitely put the vegetables on the plate. It often depends on the price you have been asked to pay so maybe you could review this and see if the vegetables could be served on a side plate or with the food, but expect they will probably ask for extra money!

There wasn't any 'We only cater for the number of people we are expecting, no extras'

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I used to work waiting on at weddings, the veg was always served separate and in a lot of cases it was silver service, which means we walked around carrying the big bowl of veg and asked each and every person if they wanted veg or not.

A panache is a mixture of vegetables served in one dish, to be shared. I Duckduckgo'd it, not suggesting I knew - but new knowledge is always welcome.

I think this comes down to personal preference.
I prefer to be able to choose my veg as I don’t like all cooked veg. If everything was just served on my plate it could potentially ruin some of the meal for me & it could be wasteful I wouldn’t eat it. I’d probably swap veg with someone else on the table to save in food waste though.
I have a dairy intolerance so always ask for no mash, always has cream & butter in at more upmarket places, & also I prefer veg without a knob of butter on it too.
I’ve only been to a few weddings with formal meals & the veg was always served separately & same at the many restaurants I have eaten at, unless the actual ordered food came with something specific.

Nothing unusual about this at all. Been to plenty weddings but more corporate events also. This is pretty standard - only if doing a "high end" meal with lots of people would the veg be served on the plate at same time. It is a logistical / heating nightmare for a larger catering event to serve up everything on the plate at the correct temperature.

What would you rather have? Lots of nice hot vegs that everyone can take how much they want to add to their main, or guests to have a plate with hot meat and cold veggies (or cold meat and hot veggies).

Why do people think we are able to serve hot meat but unable to serve hot vegetables on the same plate from the same kitchen?

It depends on the size of the kitchen and number of chefs. I don't doubt you can do it, but not all restaurants can, I'm not sure why you keep insisting it's possible everywhere.

Everything that I have posted on this thread Magenta is from my professional experience - I work full time in events and hospitality, working as everything from waiter through kitchen manager to butler, at large scale banquets, 5* hotels, football stadia and weddings. Plating meat is exactly the same as plating veg - if you can do one you can do the other. Sticking veg in a bowl that then gets passed around the table doesn't somehow magically keep the veg hot.
If you saw the speed we can get all elements of a meal from the pans to the pre-heated plates (usually under hot lamps) and to the table you might change your opinion.

I keep insisting that it is possible because I do it every week, sometimes every day of a week

Yes in a big banqueting kitchen with space and enough chefs.
Not all kitchens are like that.

It’s scientifically proven that broccoli on a plate simply doesn’t stay hot, ever, unless served to an angry two year old in which case it won’t cool. It’s just the facts.