to not want to be the only one who does the dinner everynight!

[Hai1988]

Basicly as i said above, even on DH days off and holidays I am always the one who does it!
and y does he always want feeding when ive just sat down or in the middle of something!!
ITS like having 2 4 year olds in the house sometimes

Does ne one else have this problem, living wit a man who still thinks its the stone age and women cook and man works {shock]

BTW i found out on a recent holiday with the fil that he has these same views on life so ive worked out where its come from {angry]

yanbu. if i had to do all the cooking, dh would be served up bread and butter!

maybe he doesn't know how to cook though.....

Just don't cook. I only cook a proper meal 2 or 3 nights a week.

YANBU - my DH does do lots of cooking but on other domestic matters I've had to remind him that we shared all the cooking and house chores when I was "working" in the office fulltime and now just because I have a different fulltime job during the week, it shouldn't change that.

Why don't you just say no?

"Love, would you mind cooking tonight only I've done it every night recently and I could really do with a break?"

Job done!

He does no how to cook, he did catering at college lol.
Yeh thats what i do belgo, but it just bugs me that he cant evan out a few bits into the oven, (cus he tierd after a long day at work) ffs its not that im not greatfull its just my god doesnt he think im tired at the end of the day after looking after our 4 year old all day and tidying after DS and DH's mess from the night before

Sorry to be going a little bit (psycho bitch) but i just really need to vent and well all my mates are free and childless and dont really want to hear be bitch about the housework (they all still live at home)

So you have a 4yr old?

Is it possible to cook for just you two at lunch time & leave your husband to sort himself out?

It sounds like you need to sit down and discuss who does what. There's no single right answer - I do all the cooking for us, but that suits us both fine and there are plenty of other things which DH does and I don't do so it's not unfair.

It depends I guess Hai... if you dont work and your DH does and gets home at say 6.30.. I think actually you should cook for him.

I dont buy in to gender stereotypes at all but we're supposed to care for our spouses so if I was home, and he was at work. I'd cook him dinner...

If you both work, or if you had a couple of babies/ toddlers etc to sort out then of course you should take turns...

i cook nearly all the time. but thats becasue i work p/t and when i do i am home first. dh does cook. is a fab cook. but its me that seems to do it , what seems like 95% of the time. dh loves to bbq, but even then i find myself getting plates, chopping onions etc.
drives me mad.
but OP's dh is something else. you need to sit down and have serious words.

If you are a SAHM with one four year old and your DH works FT outside the home, I think you really ought to cook the evening meal during the week.

Although, on rereading OP, whats this about 'he always wants feeding?'

You will only be treated the way you let him treat you. Why not put the dinner on at say, 6.30.. get DS ready for bed then when he gets in dinner will be ready?

he can have it then. Dont tell me you just let him sit around till he's hungry then he asks you to make dinner when he fancies.?

Just dont do it... simples.

I agree with Bonsoir. Get the 4yr old into the kitchen with you! LOADS of fun to be had!

I feel your pain.
We are having take out tonight as DP complained again about dinner last night, wrong sort of veg this time, so I told him if he wants to eat tonight he can order a frigging take away cause the kitchen staff are on strike.

yeh bonsoir i am a SAHM with a 4 yo and i do do exactly as u said. But i was just asking for a little bit of help at weekends and days off for instant, not only with the cooking but with cleaning and genral tasks. I mean we have been lving together to 4/5 years and not once has HE ever taken the rubbish to the outside bin.
And in the evenings when we go to bed i always am the last to bed tidying away for the next morning (taking out coffee cups, lttle bits of rubbish and genrally just putting the room bk to how it was)

I actually really like cooking - or should I say LIKED it before I became a Mum. Now it's more function and OH has very boring tastes, so my old repertoire (thai, italian, veggie etc) doesn't work for him which I find a real drag. It's like my cooking spirit has been killed off & it's never been in me to cook meat & 2 vege more than once a month. If it was left to me to cook to his tastes every night we'd be having toast or beans and in fact one or 2 nights a week I'll have a sandwich.

But OH can and does cook & sometimes he ain't half bad. He will get lazy from time to time but then I will wax lyrical about needing some of his spicy saltfish, pancetta & cabbage & he'll get reinvigorated.

YANBU and you've gotta work this out with him cause it's not going to get any better until he makes an effort & accepts responsibility for playing a role in family meals.

Yes, my husband generally cooks at weekends-at least one day,& helps on the other.

And holidays does quite a bit-otherwise where´s my holiday?

Runaway tell me about it, i dont bother putting his dinner on till he comes home from work ne more, for one hes never home at the the same time everynight & 2 everytime i do, do it before he gets home, hes either not hungry that night cus hes filled up on crap all day or he dont want that!!!

Op he does it because you let him.

If he does literally nothing around the house and I assume he refuses when you ask him? - then why are you washing his clothes and feeding him.

If it were me then I would eat with my DCs and leave him to it.
He does it becaue you get up and do it and then moan on here rather than just saying 'no , sorry. I am not cooking tonight - tonight is saturday and it was your turn

( actually I am lying. I would feed children and then get a nice book and go somewhere lovely for supper on my own. But that is just me )

Hai - it sounds to me like you are doing everything around the house and have had enough!

I work full time - do all the children collecting and dropping off and cook dinner every night. Kinda see it as my role. OH doesn't expect it though - i think that is the difference

I know ur right Pagwatch but i just know that if i bring the subject up AGAIN ! then its just gonna cause a row AGAIN and thats not good for me him or DS. I know ur probley gonna say well if ur not gonna keep telling him then why are u evan winging about it!
But just really have had it up to the roof wit it

I run two houses, (mine and DH1s) do all the cleaning, washing , Ironing, shopping, have two children, take my disabled mother shopping once a week, work part time, do all the school runs, Dr, Dentist, Hospital appointments and do 99.9% of the cooking.

Ok when I was home and DH1 was working full time the only night he cooked was Saturday and I did not expect him to work 6 days a week and sort out all of the above (this is why I still help him out with his house now as the kids are no good at tidy)

However I do not think wife/mother = unpaid slave.
Everyone deserves a little help now and then, and it wont kill the other half to do the odd meal on days off, please tell me when I get a day off, because if I am not at work I am doing the other stuff

Downdog thats spot on

I think if he´s filled up on cräp he should contact you by a certain time & let you know he doesn´t want a cooked meal.

And then he should look after himself.

And when he does want a cooked meal, he should have what you have made.

He does sound quite like a child tbh.

I´m already saying to my almost teenagers they eat what I give them or sort themselves out.

Down tools and go on strike.
In the kitchen and the bedroom