I think this discussion is somewhat missing the point.
You are feeling taken for granted. You cook and then he doesn't turn up, isn't hungry, you don't cook and then he wants food.
He does not see what needs doing and therefore does not even do the very basic jobs that would help you to feel less taken for granted. In one of your earlier posts you asked whether he could just empty the bin once in a while.
You are not asking for too much, you are not disorganised, you are feeling taken for granted.
You talk to your H about how you feel, you try to sort out some sort of rota, etc, etc and still nothing changes.
And there is a real possibility that nothing will change. Just because you talk and he appears to listen does not mean that he agrees or will do anything differently. In fact, I would guess that he provokes a row and then you feel you're being unreasonable to have a row over something so small.
But it is real and it is important. My H got worse and worse as we had more DCs to the point were, while he did things round the house, the only jobs I could rely on him to do was take out the bins and cut the grass (and he succeeded in outsourcing the grass!).
However, once I finally realised that this was part of a much bigger issue of emotional abuse and we separated, I started to see things much more clearly. It sounds petty when you talk to other people and they give you lots of suggestions as to what you can do but it's very difficult to put your finger on what it is that is wrong. I still can't explain to myself what exactly the problem was in our relationship but I know it was deeply and fundamentally wrong.
On a very practical level, what I have since discovered is that the mess was primarily created by HIM. The DCs are better at tidying up after themselves than he is and are much much better without him acting as an appalling role model.
So, is this about sharing out some tasks or is it a symptom of something much deeper. I am obviously biased by my experiences but the whole thing you described about meals you cook rang real controlling alarm bells to me.