To feel pissed off at being "reprimanded" for telling someone elses' DC about healthy food?

[PinkDawn]

DD has made a best friend at preschool - I don't know the other Mum well, but when her childcare fell through last Thursday, I offered to take her DD from 8am and drop to our pm preschool session.

I don't work Thursdays, so it's lazy breakfast day. We made pancakes with strawberries and blueberries. For lunch, the girls helped make a fresh tomato pasta - my DD usually plays the vegetable counting game whenever we cook or eat (she has a chart, and we're aiming for 5 a day, with 3 different colours). DD's friend wanted to play too - so we coloured in DD's chart whilst the sauce was cooking, and made one up for DD's friend - which we duly pinned on our fridge with DD's.

Today after school, "Other Mum" comes over to "thank me", before adding that in her opinion it's unsuitable to make fancy breakfasts like that, and in future, should her DD come again she will supply some cereal, and that she would appreciate it if I didn't fill her DD's head with silly ideas about expensive "tri-coloured veggies" (sic), as she has to work, and it is all a bit impractical!

Obviously don't really want to fall out with the mother of DD's first best friend, and will say nowt. However I AM SEETHING - AIBU?

YANBU. How spectacularly ungrateful!

I don't think so - maybe her DD had a little bit too much of a nice time at your house...?

Her daughter would have gone home, told her all about it and pestered her to do the same. X's mum does - X's mum says - why can't we... why don't you... I want...

Clearly she felt that your choice of food was a criticism of her and the reason she got cross was that it left her feeling rather inadequate. don't worry about it. Some people are strange.

YANBU the woman is bonkers!

She should have been grateful that you were helping her anyway and to be annoyed about serving her DD healthy food is bizarre?

Try to ignore her, she obviously has a chip on her shoulder.

YANBU

She sounds very defensive - guilty conscience! She is very rude to take it out on you!

How weird! She sounds a touch paranoid to me!

You can cook breakfast for my DC any time - I'm very impressed!

I would say she was ungrateful too but TBH what people give their children to eat is up to them, and I guess if you were trying to inflict your food ideas on to this chid then YABU but from what I've read the child wanted to get involved.

YABtotallyU to put pancakes down as lazy breakfast! Pancakes require far more work than a bowl of cheerios and a splash of milk!

However, in all else YANBU. She was obviously threatened/envious/slightly shamed and took it out on you.

Now, can I come to yours for pancakes please?

YANBU. She sounds a bit of a numpty.
An ungrateful numpty at that.

I feel inadequate often, but I normally mutter to myself at home- I'd never be so rude to someone who'd helped me out!

Can DS come to yours? Your lunchtimes sound so much more civilised than mine!

Hmmmmnnn. From your side of things, YANBU. But it depends what her DD said, and what her DD said you said, IYSWIM. She might have gone home and said "xx's mum said I don't eat enough vegetables, and made me a chart." Which doesn't excuse her being rude, mut might explain why she felt defensive.

Your house your rules.

Come on, does nobody else think making a chart for somebody else's child is something that is almost bound to be taken the wrong way?

She's extremely rude and ungrateful.

Rockbird I meant it was a lazy breakfast day for us, not that pancakes are a lazy option... It is my first weekday off, so we have breakfast in our PJs and make a big fuss!

I am glad that no one thinks I was unreasonable.. have been turning it over in my head, in case teaching a 4 year old a food chart is a bit obsessive and will give both girls a food disorder in later life

Thanks for all the replies... feel very reassured now...

God, what a cow! Poor you.... And I do know exactly how you feel, as I have a 'friend' (lives down the street - another SAHM, impossible to avoid...) who brings her own snacks Every. Goddam. Time to this Thursday Tea I host as 'in her opinion' what I feed my DS is not healthy enough (example of Thursday tea: homemade Victoria Sponge, plain yoghurt and grapes - she's quite happy to eat it, btw, just doesn't want her DCs to have any sugar)I helped the ungrateful cow out for a Whole Year - took her DS every single Wednesday afternoon to give her a break while she was getting used to DS2 (no money, nor any reciprocal babysitting) and she used to give me snacks to give her child as my stuff was so obviously awful....

Clearly, I am the muppet here, however Maybe I'm warning you not to get too involved with this weird-sounding mum as it will just cause you tons of aggro down the line....

SethStarkaddersMum yes - that was what was worrying me.. but I honestly didn't plan it - it just sort of happened, as DD is very enthusiastic about counting her veg! She gets a (small) chocolate treat for top marks

um

your food sounds lovely
and it was very kind of you to have the little girl for the whole day

BUT
your five a day food chart may have come across as a bit preachy if you sent her home with it, and the mum may well have taken it as a criticism

and the pancakes might sound somewhat fatty, sugar & unhealthy (and in direct contradiction of the above)

Just to add: I realize that what I've posted is the inverse of your situation in that I am the Bad Unhealthy Person here... but my larger point is that we should, in the first place, be thankful to those who help us out (if you choose to accept the help, that is) and that our individual neuroses should, perhaps, be laid aside for the duration!

See, this is one of those stories where I just think

It wouldn't have bothered me about the chart. I'd have thought that dd wanted to have one just like her friend's. In fact you could have given them fruit shoots and sausage rolls, I just would have been grateful for the childcare.

While your side of the story sounds like you were doing a good thing you need to see it from the other. If my child came home from a home and started telling they had a chart made up for eating veg I would be a tad put out.

She obviously took it as a criticism but perhaps the only way she could address it was to be defensive.

14hourstillbedtime Good grief - she sounds awful. My rule has always been to allow DD whatever I eat myself, as I think you need to teach by example.

(Though I have to admit, I have been known to scoff a mars bar after her bedtime!)

did you send the chart home?

Oh I see. I was starting to feel inadequate then . I don't think it sounds preachy, sounds like you got them nicely involved in the preparations and thinking about what they were eating. I would have been impressed.