To think that my long lost brother would have contacted me by now?

[canucktraveler]

I met my natural father last Oct for the first time (he never had anything to do with me and I did not even know who he was until I was 21). I was meant to meet him when I was 21 after speaking to him but he stood me up. So I left it for a LONG time...until I had a child and had a year where I was very ill and decided that I would try to make contact again. I did, we met and all went well. We have been in contact ever since. I discovered I have a brother that I did not know about. My father told my brother about me 3 months ago. He has not contacted me. I would love to get to know him, I have two other brothers and adore them and it is important for my DD to know them and have them in her life. Why would he not want to contact me??? I don't get it??

I'm sorry, I meant to say, whatever you decide to do I wish you good luck and hope it all works out for you.

OP, relax, don't fret about it, concentrate on building your relationship with your father, that is the most important relationship to build at the moment.

As he's asked about you, I suspect your 'brother' is open to knowing you, but is not yet ready to meet you. There is plenty of time.

If I were to discover I had a brother or sister from a parent't previous relationship, I know I'd not be leaping up and down to see them, it'd take me time to get used to the idea and even more time before I would actually meet them.

If you find out your father was a sperm donor when young then you may have many half siblings. To me this doesn't mean you have any sort of bond with these folk, that it's important for your kids to get to know them etc and I think people who go round chasing people up in this situation would be better trying to find local friends and hobbies rather than getting obsessed with the "specialness" of a blood relationship.
I agree that here the main issue faced by your half brother will be the fact that his dad had not been open about having kids from a previous relationship, although it sounds as though your dad was maybe one of the many young lads who accidentally gets a girl pregnant and then the girl want to keep the baby and the relationship breaks up.
You don't mention your parents having been married. I don't think your father was necessarily despicable if this was the case, probably just an immature lad not ready to face the responsibilities of fatherhood.

When i was 16, my dad told me he had a son when he was younger with another woman, it shocked me, he told me the mother of his son moved away and got married to another man and that man asked my dad if he could adopted his son, and obviously my dad said yes, he said it was for the best. Hes tried to get in contact over the years but doesn't know where to start, am 18 now and my half brother is 21, all i know is where he was born, his date of birth and his birth name and his mothers name, i have no idea were to start, my dad knows that am trying to look for him, but am scared of asking him anything as it upsets him a lot, i know if i did get in contact with him he could come back and say he wants nothing to do with me, but least i know i tried, so if anyone could give me some advice would be greatfull