to want a holiday even though DH says we can't afford it

[EllaBing]

We've just recently moved house and our mortgage payments have gone up by a moderate amount. DH did say that if we moved house this year, we'd have to sacrifice going on our ten days abroad. Now, I nodded and made all the right noises because I thought I could butter him up at a later date but it appears I am wrong.

The thought of not having some time in the sun for another year is making me very miserable. The last 3 summers we've had have been shit. I've had a bit of mild depression since we moved and I feel like I need a change of scenery before i start doing crazy things like cutting my own hair off in clumps or eating sraight out of the freezer.

I KNOW I sound like a petulant child but I'm only asking for a few days in a hot country. Fucking Benidorm will do as long as there's sun and wine. I am a spoilt monster

how about getting an evening job? thats what I would do if I wanted something ~I couldnt afford. there are loads of hours that you can work while kids sleep presumably from 6-7 pm onwards.

Sorry you are being unreasonable - agree with spoilt princess comments.

Your DH explained that bigger house meant no foreign holiday. So you can want one but you made choice (bigger house) and are being unreasonable to complain now.

re: affordable childcare comments well if good lifestyle so important to you then you should have put youself in position of having very well paid job.

Can the three above posters please read the entire thread before wading in and being judgmental? Thanks

[lurks]

FFS, READ THE THREAD LATECOMERS

Ellebing - you not only deserve a holiday but you deserve to choose where, when and every other friggin minute detail. What you do for your family is totally admirable. What would your family do without you? You obviousy love them and them you (Noxious BIL apart) and your posts show a great sense of humour as well. IMO Those things are a bloody acheivement in themselves without all the other stuff you're sorting out day to day. Good on you - I hope you get the holiday you want, with bells on.

wish there was a way to force your bil to pay for your holiday

your dh sounds lovely, maybe remember to talk to him next time

I wasn't being judgemental. It is just that I have a few friends who have career jobs that they can't do at the moment and it just wouldn't cross their mind to do an evening job for a lower hourly rate. I am lucky that DH has a great job but I work while my dd is at school in a lowish paid job because I like being able to book holidays without getting permission etc. I realise OP has a dh that works long hours so it may not be an option.

ok... i have read the whole thread so... here goes

OP do you claim carers allowance?? it would be IIRC about £50-70 per week allowance and your MIL should be claiming disability allowance too. this would help top up your incomings. i really feel for you and i agree that whilst YES you really do need a holiday, that maybe choosing one closer to home (how about a cottage holiday down south and take MIL with you??) a different environment would be as good as a total break and you would have DH there to do alot of the 'care' side of things. a change is as good as a rest and all that. this might be an opportunity for you and DH to spend some quality time with MIL if indeed you do believe she wont be around for much longer. she would have some nice memories for her last days and your DS would get to know your MIL away from the home/care environemnt

i am glad your DH is being supportive of your wish to return to work and that you are entitled to some help from a carer.

also, respite homes can do week bookings if you do get a chance to go away and really would rather not bring MIL along too. a friend of mine has a severely disabled DS (cerebral palsy) and he is cared for by a hospice for respite for 2 days a week and 10 days in the holiday season in summer. it may be slightly different for the elderly but my grandad is disabled following a massive stroke and was offered a week stay in a respite home to give my nan a break so it is on offer in alot of places

glad you seem more full of positivity and i hope things go well for you

EllaBing, I know you said you'd like sunshine and warmth, but does it have to be abroad? I am currently in an Ebaying frenzy to raise the dosh for our holiday this year. We're going to the same place we went last year, which is a Haven site (I know many people don't like them), but we have found a lovely privately owned caravan which allows you to pay by Paypal (hence the Ebaying so it doesn't affect day to day finances). It might not be everyone's cup of tea, but it was a lovely break for us last year and DS loved it.
I could give you the details if you are interested.
Or I am willing to come soemwhere warm with you

"boys are like dogs"
I did read the whole thread. All 200 odd posts, and your point is?

What about a houseswap? We had a fab holiday in Normandy last year for 2 weeks and only had to pay for our flights. We even swapped cars. www.switchome.org is free to join

That's a brilliant idea Chrysanthamum. I will definitely give that a look into

What about my brilliant idea?

Sorry Buzzing Noise, I only ducked in last night and only did a quick reply. Your idea is also good. I've been flogging on ebay left, right and centre and am doing a carboot to get rid of the stuff that I can't be arsed lugging to the post office

However, I explained earlier in the thread that I have a BIL who on our last UK holiday hassled us by phone non-stop wrt MIL. If we're abroad we'll actually get a break. Also, weather IS an important factor for me. I like being outdoors walking/pony trekking/playing with LO on the beach. I don't want to go on holiday to have to be stuck in cos of rain. Anyway, if reports are to be believed, we're in for a hot hot summer this year so in that case a week in Minehead might just suffice

Lol well if you need company somewhere warm, I'm free!

OK then, MNers jolly. Remember a spare bag for the duty free

If you want it that much, get another job for a few weeks- bar work, stacking shelves in the evening- anything to earn the money.

My DCs are now in their 20s- we had 1 holiday abroad in all their childhood and that was spent staying with friends. we put our money into our house instead.

Message deleted

Elle, if you do end up in the UK on holiday, can you not just turn your phone off during the day and only pick up messages at night? Then you can decide whether or not to phone BIL back but you are still "available" if something really bad happens.

I think you should bung it on a credit card

Then you can spend the next 10 years paying it off

I really havn't got time to read the whole thread, but last year we were pretty broke (still are!) and felt like we needed a holiday. I ebayed a lot of stuff we no longer had need for and booked some £5 Ryanair flights to Spain. I booked 6 nights Half board in a nice little hotel and the whole holiday came to the grand total of about £150 for all 4 of us. I had to take my DS out of school for a few days which I know some people will slate me for but we were able to spend some quality family time together in the sun for the price of a weekend in a caravan in Skegness!