to want a holiday even though DH says we can't afford it

[EllaBing]

We've just recently moved house and our mortgage payments have gone up by a moderate amount. DH did say that if we moved house this year, we'd have to sacrifice going on our ten days abroad. Now, I nodded and made all the right noises because I thought I could butter him up at a later date but it appears I am wrong.

The thought of not having some time in the sun for another year is making me very miserable. The last 3 summers we've had have been shit. I've had a bit of mild depression since we moved and I feel like I need a change of scenery before i start doing crazy things like cutting my own hair off in clumps or eating sraight out of the freezer.

I KNOW I sound like a petulant child but I'm only asking for a few days in a hot country. Fucking Benidorm will do as long as there's sun and wine. I am a spoilt monster

Christ! You're a tough crowd.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a holiday, However, if you can't afford to go abroad have a holiday in the UK.
I've had my holidays in the UK for the past 2 years and it's been lovely and a fraction of the cost.
In addition, I spent 3 weeks on the Isle of Wight last year and it only rained twice.

yes indeedy thumby

uggmum, have YOU read the whole thread??

I think Ella deserves a holiday!

Tell your OH your exhausted looking after his mum and need a break. Get searching for cheap deals (may is usually cheap).

I'd be tempted to tell him you are taking your dd away and that if he doesn't want to come he can stay at home and look after his mum.

I'm still puzzling over why your DH and MIL decide that she is not going to the care home place offered, without any input from you. If your DH decides she is staying at your house, then he needs to provide some of her care. I'm curious... what happens on the weekends when your DH is home? Does he take over care of your MIL so as to give you a break?

I understand that his MIL may not want to go into care home, but neither can you put yourself in a position where you have a breakdown either - that doesn't do you or anyone else any good.

I maybe missed it, but did you answer whether or not she gets disability to help in paying for things? I am a bit puzzled on you moving to a more accessible home, leaving you with a higher mortgage payment, without her making a significant financial contribution if she is able. (Plus the tiny cold hearted side of me puzzles at moving for her benefit if you are not expecting her to see out the new year - rather than making adjustments to your less expensive home you were already in).

I think your DH needs to take more responsibility for his mother, as well as for speaking to his brother about contributing both financially to her care and taking care of her more frequently. There's no reason that he couldn't come down one lousy weekend a month or even every other month so you and your DH and DC can go somewhere as a family.

'BIL is a little wanker. Can't stand the miserable fucker, he makes my blood boil.'

Then wanky is as wanky does. Be a wanker back. And if your DH won't grow a pair and force his brother to put his hand in his pocket, then go ahead and play the bitch because otherwise he'll just take you for mugs.

Boo Hoo Scottish Mummy am devastated by your rapier wit.

I know you're a wee lamb underneath that hard exterior though!

Tinykins you are right of course ah'm aw talk and big girl blouse

go to the sea side - cheap and cheerful!

YABU.

What's wrong with a holiday in the UK? Your skins waterproof.

Ach, aye, scottishmummy would be towing the line for some man, I can so see it. 'It's your money, dear, because I lurve you.'

Just like my girls, or any other Scottish woman I've met.

And we all wear kilts and have red hair through here, ken.

Life is too short to be eating the scraps for someone's table on top of selling your own skin to put food on that table.

Don't think so.

Bling, hope if anything this thread has given the balls you have back.

Hi everyone,

Sat down with DH last night and it all came out, how I was frustrated at not being about to work even a few hours a week/not having own cash anymore/needing to ask him every time I need a lipstick etc etc. All he said was "I don't know if you don't teall me"

So, DH is telling work that Wed-Fri he is not staying late to finish projects, he will bring his work laptop home and work from here and I am going to start firing CVs off to Sainsburys/Tesco etc. I'm feeling a little bit more optimistic. Also DH said that his boss told him just yesterday that his poor DW deserves a holiday just for putting up with him nevermind MIL etc etc lol. So all's good

However, I am now seething about something else so am off to post another AIBU, glutton for punishment I am!

Fab result, Elle.

Great result elle. I felt bad that everyone was so harsh with you, but at least it has spurred you on. You sound like you are doing a great job. Keep on being honest with your DH, and hopefully you will feel better once you have some control over your life.

Elle, that's great news! hope you get something soon and that you do get your holiday after all.

That's great. Thanks for the update

(vicar makes mental note to never post anything in AIBU again and feels that she has so far gotten off lightly when she has!...)

OP, glad youve got something sorted out. i think you got a fairly undeserved pasting at first, but i dont think i get AIBU even though ive posted in it! i got flattened on my last one. shame you got it on your first post though - stick around, im sure its character building (or something....!)

on the plus, you got some good advice among the bitch slapping.

It's OK. I'm a tough old boot most of the time and I can whack out with some pretty handy bitch slaps myself

bitch slap is a gross phrase.yuk

So is "grow the fuck up"

not at all.has clarity and unambigious.sometimes exactly what is needed

bitch slap sounds pornie from heffner mansion

Ellebing - Can i just say i think you are a petulant child.

''I don't exactly live a frivolous lifestyle. I don't have a car, I walk everywhere, I buy my clothes from fucking Primark, I swap books with mates because I can't justify spending eight quid on one, same with music. I just don't think that I can bear another wet summer stuck in the house with LO not being able to go out because walking to the park results in getting drenched! I've sold loads of my stuff on eBay and have given the raised cash to DH hoping that he will let us use it to go towards a holiday.

My one joy in life is watching Hollyoaks (!) I think I'm entitled to some fun...''

I have not had a holiday since shock horror 2006.

You want to be thankful that you have your health, a mortgage (which is more than what we have). You want to be thankful that you get a 10 day luxury 10 day holiday yearly. My children have never been to an airport let alone fly on a plane.

You buy your clothes from Primark? Whoopiedoo! I dont have the money to buy new clothes. Think yourself lucky.

Oh look, someone else who didn't read the whole thread.

Glad to hear you got things sorted ElleBing. Now you just need to work on that arsey BIL of yours...

No i admit i didnt read the whole thread. Must learn to do that!