Kerry, I too was molested as a child. I have found that this, along with the way I was raised, ( that sex was not to be discussed , even), led to several hurdles which I have had to overcome before even considering that it is not "wrong" or "dirty" to be naked in front of a family member other Than a husband or wife.
People like us, Kerry, know something that those who have never been the victim of a sexual predator, do not know... It's sometimes the ones you would NEVER suspect, who are the ones who are seeking to fulfill their own sexual desires with a child.
I live in the states. And if what I understand is correct, 1 in 3 girls under the age of 12 have been molested. (1in 4 of the male children.) This either means that there are a hell of a lot of perverts running around. Or that there are quite a few who do as much damage to as many children who they can manage to "fool" the parents of.
Once it has happened, it's too late. The shame has been seeded and there are no do-overs. The damage is done.
Which is why you know that it is simply not worth the risk.
That being said, there is another side of life. One that has not had the sunshine snuffed out at a young age. And those who are fortunate enough to not feel shame, fear and suspicions... Typically give others no reason to feel shame, fear and suspicions of themselves. Ever. So their reality is different from ours, Kerry. And that may very well be a good thing! And a beautiful thing, to be natural, the way God made us, with zero shame and zero bad intent! ( maybe I'm naive? I don't think so. Not in many cases, that is.
But I can tell you this. There was a time when I felt exactly like you feel. But I'm not sure that it is a healthy way to feel. Not when it is taken to an extreme and in fear becomes a "natural" way of being for a child whose parent passes their own fear down to them. This means that damage is being done to yet another generation, allowing the perverse acts of one sick man to win again!
Can you imagine how childhood would be different, if nothing wrong had ever happened to you?
I completely commend you for standing strong to protect the children of others. You're amazing! But if they go to an extreme, and allow fear to rule their lives, especially where there was no reason for fear in the first place, then in perhaps, in although a less extreme sense, they would be living the life of a victim themselves.
That being said. To those who are reading this and there is any question at all to whether or not it should be allowed. You see the lasting effects from parents having taken a chance with their children by allowing the wrong "trusted" relative to have time alone with them.
From what I have researched. (But please do your own.)
The average child molester in the US is the upper middle class, white male who is typically thought very highly of and who attends church. I read once that grandparents where typically, not molesters of their own grandchildren.
It's a difficult call considering the dynamics.
And someone here said that if they were going to molest a child, they would not do it with the wife in the same bed, but I'm afraid that is not always the case.
In many instances, although not all, the wives know, or on some level suspect that there is something wrong. But remain in denial. It's a weird dynamic they have going on.
Surely there is a happy medium. And a way to ensure that you are protecting your child, while not damaging relationships.
But just know that Kerry has good reason to warn you so strongly.
Good luck.