To not want my kids grandparents to sleep naked with him.

[susssiq]

My kids paternal grandparents sleep naked ok fair enough thats up to them. My kids stay at theres when they babysit and sleep over. When my son wakes up early he usually gets in their bed and dozes for a while. I don't feel comfortable that they are naked then. AIBU if I ask them to at least wear underwear? and how do I ask them without offending them?

Agree with Kerrymumbles

"maybe not in bed with granny but what is being established here is a level of intimacy that would make it fairly easy for someone who would want to abuse a child to take it to the next steps outside of the bed with granny....."

Maybe you could get your son to tell all the neigbors about the big wart on granny's arse. That might curve the habit. (I'm just kidding of course)

"maybe not in bed with granny but what is being established here is a level of intimacy that would make it fairly easy for someone who would want to abuse a child to take it to the next steps outside of the bed with granny....."

That would extend to the parents, then, as well?

Either children are able to distinguish between close family members who parents have agreed to sleeping over with, and other people.
Or they aren't.

If it is not OK for grandparents then by defintion it is not OK for parents.

I am just flabbergasted that anyone can think that a child being in bed with parents and brushing against one of their genitals is the same as child molestation.

Child molestation is child molestation, if someone wants to do it and has access to a child then they will do it irrespective of what anyone is wearing in bed.

Surely better to keep a close eye on who has access to your children, and teach your children about what is appropriate and what is not.

Saying grand-dad is going to be driven to assault one of his grand-children, because he has been in bed with the child and granny one morning, is ridiculous.

What if a curious child touches an adult?

What do you think will happen? Some sort of chemical explosion?

Well, my reservations would be the control of how an adult, besides me or DH would handle it. I am the wrong person to be on this thread as I loathe my inlaws with a passion and my parents were prudes. We even said chest of chicken!!

Oh well any other adult would immediately lose all control and become a menacing sexual predator

I understand how your experiences and childhoods can influence your thinking on this, but I also think that your implication that adults are not to be trusted with children, that the naked body is not to be trusted and that adults would become aroused by sharing a bed with a child is alarming.

And whilst I realise you have not actually said any of those things, they are implied in yours and Kerry's posts.

If you really do think that, then perhaps your childhood issues have not fully been dealt with. Don't confuse sex with lust and don't bring up your children to be afraid of sex and/or intimacy. You may not think you were doing it, I'm sure my mother didn't think she was creating a sense of self-loathing in me, but children pick up on an awful lot. There is no shame in the naked form, adults DO have a lot of self-control, even if a child does poke our bits out of curiosity, we are not going to turn around and start abusing them!

KERRY, my DS3 DID try to suckle on his Granny during an overnight stay when he was about two and a half; he climbed into bed and attempted to pull her nightie down, saying "time for boobie milk now Granny".

Luckily my Mum is not prudish and we all had a laugh about it, especially as Mum is rather flat chested!

No no no, not sexual....crude. So they may say something like 'ooo get off my tits' or 'don't stare at my dick' ...or 'ooo you little pervert' etc.....,

I am talking about my control over things not theirs.

By the way no shame in nudity, but no need to be naked with my ils...or them be naked in front of my dcs. My parents never EVER would but I would feel comfortable about my mother showering my dcs.

As in my parents wouldn't be naked, but my mother has showered/bathed my dcs.

Ah, didn't realise we were still talking about your in-laws.

I wouldn't accept such crudeness in front of my kids and I wouldn't allow anyone who says such things in normal conversation to bathe my kids either.

Is your dp normal then?

Normal.....erm? It's taken a lot of training to extract much of his TheSun behaviour, but there's still so much to do. So many issues....

I don't envy you!

OP - perhaps this is just a cultural difference, as i see that your ILs are swedish and you live there now?

But I don't believe it is inappropriate for my children to see some adults naked.

And their bodies are not private at this point, I have to change nappies and bathe them and so on.

What about communal changing rooms at swimming?

What about loads and loads of people in nations like germany and sweden?

Of course it is not always inappropriate for anyone to see another person naked, and that includes children.

I have seen children in gardens in the summer without any clothes on - that's not wrong. It just isn;t.

Kerrymumbles I agree with you wrt boundaries and how important they are.

Posieparker, I would keep my DCs apart from the GPs you describe, or supervise them constantly in their presence.

Do you disagree with children sharing a bed with naked parents?

I'm half swedish and don't want to sleep with my naked grandparents
Just the thought of it is but no or

I find this really interesting, what would everyone's opinion be of the fact that my step-children love to get into bed with me and their father whenever they are with us, and we both sleep naked? That I shower and bath them, and have showered with them, that I help them to get dressed? That they have both come to me with questions about their genitals and shown me?

I personally think that there is nothing sinister about nudity or the naked body and that teaching children that there is something wrong with the naked body, and by implication their's, is damaging in itself and that there are many problems in british society that can be traced back to our prudishness and shame about nakedness and related issues.

Incidentally this is coming from someone who has experience working with children and adults who have been abused. To me it seems that conflating nudity and abuse is a real shame, and in the vast majority of cases a massive stretch.

I don't sleep naked because my DS gets in our bed, his dad my BF does and it doesn't bother me.

My MIL insists walking around her house in knickers and vest and generally does not require any privacy which is fair enough but I don not wish to view thank you very much!

my DS has not stayed there since he started getting into her bed as she only wears knickers and I know she would never ever behave inapropriately but I can't bear the thought of my son being in her bed with her and just her knickers on because i would hate it and dont think i should put my DS where I would not want to be