For hating this teen phrase?

[Enchilada81]

Didn't put it in the subject header incase it offended anyone!

But basically DS has gotten into the habit of saying "spaz" a lot. For instance when DS2 couldn't get the PC working and then realised it wasn't plugged in DS1 said "you spaz!" etc.

I told him off and asked him not to say it but I think they're saying it that often at school it comes out too naturally.

When DS's friend was here the other night, DS was messing around and his friend said "come on, don't be a spaz"

Another variation is spaz attack. For instance "oh mum it was so funny in history today, everyone was messing around and Mr Smith ended up just having a total spaz attack!"

And now I've just seen on facebook he and some other teens on my friend list have joined a group called "Having a dream about falling over and then having a total spaz attack in my bed"

Am I over-reacting? should I still try and stop him even though it seems they're all saying it?

he may say it
just not in front of you

Spaz was my brother and his friends' favourite insult circa 1980!

Erm, it's a move on from Joey, which in itself was pretty awful.

ChildrenAreCruelViciousCreaturesTiggaxx

Do they know where the phrase comes from though?

i remember it ws offensive when i was a child.
do they still have the spastics society btw?

havent heard use of it, yet with mine.

oh, i see its scope now

here

I've noticed that more people tend to use spaz and mong these days, and I tend to think of those as words that went out of fashion circa 1990...

Don't like them.

Urgh, these were seen as deeply offensive even when I was at school, my mother (a nurse) would have been horrifed had either of us said these growing up. Problem is he is still at the 'impressionable' age, you can tell him what it means/why he shouldn't say it and he will probably agree, but when at school he'll prob fall in with the others and carry on saying it. Hopefully though long-term he will be more sensitive to it and others through you explaining it.

I remember 'mong' as well, usually used as 'monging out', which is horrible.

When I worked in a school for children with cerebral palsy, there was a phase where several of the older students used the term to each other - in an ironic way I suppose. I remember one student driving around with a sign saying "Spazmobile" hung off the back of his wheelchair.

I would never have dreamed of using the word myself though... I'm sure there is no malice intended when your son uses it, but he needs to realise that people may find it very offensive.

it's just teens that use these phrases. I have a few proffessional, well paid friends (no kids) in thier late 20's and 30's who thinks its funny and clever to use the word mong and spaz in thier everyday language. and when you tell them it's offensive they just tell you that it's your problem and laugh sarcastically.

In fact they are not very nice people at all

Most teens say this stuff out of earshot but are good kids and just young and daft.I have sat ds down a few times about callinjg things gay etc and he puts on his earnest face blah blah and then probably goes straight back to saying it with his mates.The only way it stops is if it suddenly loses its cool and another word becomes 'in'.

ATM my ds is saying savage to everything we say/do and we don't know if its good or bad

Snurk

I know a teenaged boy who has a wheelchair sticker saying "I don't want you to feel sorry for me, I want you to get out of the FG WAY!"

I am awful when it comes to the word 'gay'. I do use it as an insult, although I am trying so hard not to. 2 of my very dear friends are gay (one always, one recently out of closet) and I just about manage to pre-edit everything I say, but I don't want to have to do that, I want to just never say it, in the way I would never use 'spastic' as an insult. I want it to not even occur to me.

It's hard for me because I think of "Gay" as in Enid Blyton jolly, "Gay" as in likes having sex with members of the same gender, and "Gay" as in a bit mawkish or disappointing - ie, I can't get through to the bus company to ask them their fares, I think "that's Gay!". I don't mean any homosexual connotations by it. I mean frustrating and mildly disappointing.

I know people who are gay find it offensive, and I am trying so hard not to do it - I don't want to lose all my friends - but I can't seem to snap this association out of my mind.

I may not have any control over what my children say to their mates, but I am going to make it perfectly clear what is too offensive to be said in my hearing. That's the best you can do as a parent. And it's a damn sight better than doing nothing.

I would certainly have the Talk, as outlined by other posters. Let them know what the word means, how offensive it is and how hurtful it could be to other people.

I dont mind the gay word being used, as it does mean happy.

If my boys came in and used those words they would get a clip around the ear, we have family with many disabilities, and I would not be amused at all.

BUT kids say it with no malice intended and most do not normally know the connotations or meanings with these words until told the true definitions of them. It is innocent in their eyes, and just the "cool" word being currently used.

fucking hell
I would would have grounded him for ever
there is never and excuse to use the S word.

I would be furious with ds and tell him off in no uncertain terms.

Then I'd call the school and ask if they could make it very clear that derogatory language is NOT allowed. At all. No sexist, racist or anti-disabled insults. Maybe they could do an Assembly? You can't stop teenagers being insensitive amongst themselves but you can make it VERY plain that such language is horrible and not tolerated in school.

Schools in Hampshire have been teaching children about the UN Convention on Human Rights, has apparently been very positive - if you google you might find something on it that you can suggest to school.

Teens say offensive words? Shocker! next you'll be telling me they try drinking and smoking!!

so they can use the n word then??

I've noticed this more and more recently. I work with disabled children although not with children with cp and it really upsets me to hear people using 'spaz' and 'retard'. What makes it worse is that the people using these words are educated and all starting to think about having children.

A few days ago I was putting on my shoes without looking and started putting them on the wrong feet. My friend, who is trying for a baby said, 'Look what you're doing, that's so retarded.' Instead of saying, 'don't use that word it offends me' I said, 'Sorry, what do you actually mean by that?' She looked quite shocked and I said, 'I hope you don't have a disabled child both for your sake and theirs.' That knocked the smirk off her face and I hope made her realise that he comment was ignorant and offensive.