For hating this teen phrase?

[Enchilada81]

Didn't put it in the subject header incase it offended anyone!

But basically DS has gotten into the habit of saying "spaz" a lot. For instance when DS2 couldn't get the PC working and then realised it wasn't plugged in DS1 said "you spaz!" etc.

I told him off and asked him not to say it but I think they're saying it that often at school it comes out too naturally.

When DS's friend was here the other night, DS was messing around and his friend said "come on, don't be a spaz"

Another variation is spaz attack. For instance "oh mum it was so funny in history today, everyone was messing around and Mr Smith ended up just having a total spaz attack!"

And now I've just seen on facebook he and some other teens on my friend list have joined a group called "Having a dream about falling over and then having a total spaz attack in my bed"

Am I over-reacting? should I still try and stop him even though it seems they're all saying it?

As a parent of a teen all you can do is inform your child that it is offensive and wrong.My son would bew mortified if he thought he was being unkind ditrectly I know he would BUT teenagers do not think before they open their mouths and do say things they know are wrong.I do think most teens know its wrong but they don't stop to think when with their peers and I think they use these terms addressing each other not as insults in public.If they decide to continue their use into adulthood then they deserve what they get.I think the htread has gone a bit off topic 2shoes is talking about being directly targetted becuase of her daughter and having to deal with that on a daily basis.Others are discussing using these terms as derogatory insults in society in general.

noddyholder no it isn't off target.
it starts with a child not be ing corrected when using the term, with the parents using it, and then a hate campaign.
that is how it all started, with a 9 year old girl refering to dd as a spaz.

so if these delightful young children, were taought from an early age that discrimination is wrong it wouldn't have happened. so not of target ata ll.

Oh poo, your post only needed a [ner] at the end there.
You accuse others of not listening but diregard everything said to you.

Of course you can use moron. Of course you may mix with people who also regard it as fine. That is your choice.

It is entirely up to me how I react to that isn't it.
Or is it your position that you get to decide what words are ok and also get to decide how I feel about that?
That seems to be quite astoundingly arrogant.

I have already said I will be happy to be swayed by swathes of SN based communities agreeing with your view that moron is fine. I am still waiting.

I don't agree sorry.I think we are talking about different things here.There are those such as my ds who have used terms I have found shocking and I have pulled him up accordingly but I myself would never use these terms and I know my ds would never be part of something as bullying and vindictive as you have experienced.The people who decided to target your family would find any reason to do this because they sound like awful people full stop.

Yes I'm clearly as nasty person with no insight whatsoever into anything at all. And my opinion is invalid unless I can bring an army of SN families along to support me.

Perhaps I can be clearer.
Country A: word xxxx bad, nice people not use.
Country B: same word xxxx not bad, nice people use cos not bad.
Same word, different reactions. Neither Country A or B wrong or right, different.

According to you lot Country B bad bad nasty people. Pedantic wankers. You wrong, Country B only wrong if they go to country A and knowing that word xxxx deemed bad still use with intent to cause offence. Country A could be using word that is bad in Country B, not knowing. They not bad either.

Any questions?

It was meant to be. I have already agreed with you that in Britain the majority of people may agree on which words are offensive.
I am not in Britain, or America. And you don't get to tell everyone what is and is not offensive, and tell them they are wrong. Your arrogance is breathtaking.

noddy I know you are a good person, and your son is a nice kid,
but can't you see that the more people that think it is ok to use these words(what ever thier age) just make them more "normal" so it is a slippery slope, better to nip it in the bud. I do realise you can't stop them saying stuff when you arn't with them(if that was the case ds wouldn't swear) but you can re inforce it.
trouble is if the "good" kids think it is ok, who will tell the bad ones who go on to taunt people, and harass them.

if I went to the states, I would have to bit my lip and accept that they have a different meaning for the word.

same as if I went to france I would't ask dd if she wants a wee as i means yes thre.

YOU ARE NOT LISTENING!!!!! I give the fuck up, I really do. Try reading posts before you answer them in future, you might learn something. You have ascribed to me a completely different position to the one I actually have, apparently you are unable to understand it.

And go fuck yourself with your "look at your children and thank" because you have no fucking idea about my children and what they might have to put up with. Your arrogance extends to not only telling people what they must find offensive, but also to assuming that they have only NT and able bodied children.

I do tell him and tbh I have only ever heard him say one thing and I gave him the riot act and that was that.I have never said anywhere that its ok I have just said there is a difference between teenage brain and mouth not engaging and direct abuse.

Still not listening. I never mentioned America. I didn't say that in america its fine to say "those words". I don't know what words you are referring to, as I have only commented on one word, moron, which I and many others find to be nowhere near as offensive as words such as retard, which I personally find very offensive.
I am saying, yet again, that people have different views of words and there is no absolute consensus, and that if you take every word out of your vocabulary that one person may find offensive, you will be left with no words. And that by giving all words the same amount of offensiveness you are shooting yourself in the ass because the worst ones lose their shock value and they are used more, not less.

And some words are meant to be offensive, thats why exist in the first place. I was merely pointing out that if I call someone a moron for cutting me up while driving, it does not mean that I attack people with disabilities FFS.

Whatever, I'm done, I don't care anymore.

'I have just said there is a difference between teenage brain and mouth not engaging and direct abuse.'

I agree noddy, which is where the education bit comes in. I know you know that too.
One cannot sin without intent.
It's when what is perceived as wrong has been explained, and they say 'Oh, Whatever. Who gives a fuck, you're being a real spaz now' that intentional offense has been given and deserves a more active response.

I used to share a house with Americans. They never understood why Randy Crawford was such a funny name. Cultural ignorance can get people hurt. If you feel that the world should adapt to you, then you need to stay home and wallow in ignorance without harming anyone. Or being harmed.

can I say that I am not going to be terribly upset if you do give up poo.

I can learn to live with your disappointment.

And I have been listening. I just still think you are being a bit ...wankerish.

I will live with other cultures eating dogs. If they eat my dog I retain the right to be upset.

You may enjoy the priveliedge of living in a culture where moron is fine. I reatain the right to think you are a tosser.

It seems quite fair to me

You are banging on again in a quite tedious fashion about banning words. can I say again ( as you seem thoroughly confused) I support you right to say what you will. I reatin the right to think you are a cunt if you use a word that offends my child and me.

It is quite simple.

Your exasperation seems to stem from my refusal to put your right to say a word of your choice ahead of my right to think you are a pompous twat.
I think both rights are equal

i think some people argue for the sake of it, never got why they can't be grown up and accept that a word is wrong. yet here we go round again.

love you pagwatch

It's not the words that cause bullying though, it's the bullys. bullys will bully with whatever words they have at their disposal.

People who aren't bullies using a word without understanding the meaning are not in the same class as people who deliberately pick on and torment the vulnerable.

My friend who thought mong meant mongrel didn't go around throwing eggs at disabled people. When i told her what the word meant she was mortified and stopped using it.

That people are saying this is impossible and that she must have secretly known, and been someone who hated disabled people and liked to torment them is absurd, quite frankly.

Do not allow the words themselves to get in the way of the real problem which is people being bastards. Education can stop the nice people using words that they don't understand the meaning of. What you do about people being bullies, I don't know.

oh thanks fo r that.
so next time someone calls dd a spaz I will smile seetly.......like fuck

No because obviously someone who uses a word like that to someone is being extremely unpleasant. They do not need educating, they need, well I would say a good kick but that doesn't tie in with thinkign violence isnt the answer to all of this.

Someone who uses a word like that in a general conversation, having picked the word up at school and not thinking or knowing where it has come from, is not necessarily using it to be malicious about disabled people. They need to be told where it comes from and not to use it, yes, but the assumption that they are bullies and hate all disabled people is too far.

Like the word "gay" being used eg if I heard someone say "that cardigan is so gay" i would not think that they were a raging homophobe who liked nothing better than giving gay people a good kicking in their spare time. I would assume that they were using the current lingo in their peer group, and were misguided in doing so.

And someone could bully, pick on or otherwise belittle your DD without using that word, or indeed any "offensive" words. Because people like that will always find a way to bully.

You keep on calling me a wanker and cunt and a twat, pag thats fine, as long as you can see the irony in being as offensive as you can on a thread about deliberately causing offence.

But thats about right for your type isn't it? Stuck in your own little bubble of self righteousness, oh so sure of yourself and your own moral superiority that you can't even understand an opinion that you haven't even noticed mostly overlaps with your own.
I am not expecting you to agree with me, I am however doing you the courtesy of actually reading your posts, something you seem to be able to do for me.

Enjoy the view from your moral high ground, don't let reality get in the way of your superiority complex.