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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want any parents staying with their children at my daughters party in my house

211 replies

brook1 · 08/12/2009 17:01

My daughter is having her 7th birthday party this weekend and all together I will have around 15 children in the house.

So far, about 6 of the mums from school have asked me if they will be able to stay with their daughter because she doesnt really like being left anywhere. I have politely said that its a bit difficult really because my home is not particularly large and if I say yes to one of the mums then I would have to say yes to all of them. Her reply was that she will try to leave her but if she gets upset then she will have to stay with her.

Also, one of the mums is notorious for bringing her 2 year old and elder child along to all parties. She has asked if she can bring them because her DH is working. I just think its really cheeky. The thing is, many of the mums have other children and I appreciate that they cannot all get someone to look after the other children. However, this is my home, not a play centre.

AIBU to think that if their child is not willing to be left then sadly they dont go to the party. FWIW, I speak to these mums in the playground but am not particularly close friends with them. And I dont really fancy them all sitting around watching me do party games and things with the children in my home.

In the past I have hired a hall or something but, this was just meant to be a small tea-party for around 5-7 that has escalated so now I'm making it into a disco. And I am unable to hire anywhere now at such short notice.

OP posts:
florence2511 · 09/12/2009 14:05

YANBU at all. Your house, your rules. If you want Parents there, then fine, but if you don't then that if fine also and these wishy, washy, over-anxious Mothers need to understand this.

In my experience it isn't the children that don't want to be left, it is the Mothers that don't want to leave their kids thus creating anxious, mollycoddled children. They are not doing their children any favours, just setting up problems for leter in life. I've seen it time and time again.

And for the poster who put in a little comment about CRB checks - get a life. Those three little letters really get my back up.

yummyyummyyummy · 09/12/2009 14:32

It's easier said than done though isn't it -to tell the mums 'no'.I think the Op must be a well-liked fun person that the other mums enjoy being with.
I do think it is unusual here - normally round here parents drop thie DC off and you don't see them for dust !! ( although not literally I'm sure in OPs house !)

grenadine · 09/12/2009 16:31

Maybe you could dole out chores in advance of the party to the mums coming - run a game, make teas for adults, look after any younger children. They might suddenly find an excuse not to be able to stay

inkyfingers · 09/12/2009 16:59

Agree, agree with all this! But what's normal for parties in your area? Is it a crush full of mummies with siblings? in which case you're the only sane person... But I truly hope they are not worried about child protection/wave your CRB before kids can come to your party...

deaddei · 09/12/2009 18:21

But when we were little and having parties -and I'm talking the 1960s- no mothers stayed!!1 Wouldn't have even considered it!!!

Morloth · 09/12/2009 19:06

I think it is fine to say it is a drop and run if asked which. Up to the Mum then.

I always check whether it is a drop and run or a stay and drink help.

2rebecca · 09/12/2009 19:22

I've never had a stay and help, used to ask when they were preschool, must admit once they started school I only asked with mums who were friends as I do think of school age kids able to survive a day with no mummy as able to survive a couple of hours on a weekend without one and the help was for the party holders, not my kids.
How do the kids of the overprotective parents cope with a whole day at school without them? Very bizarre.

RainRainGoAway · 09/12/2009 19:28

Personally, I always ask if the parents need me to stay to help (and I mean help, not hover around my DD). If not, I gleefully skip off for an hour, having left DS with DH thinking that I am having hell on earth attending a childs party.

I luurrrrve kids parties. Last week I even managed to have a glass of wine at a nice wine bar and read an entire party before it was time to wander back and walk her home (albeit slightly unsteadily)

SCargot · 09/12/2009 19:28

i bloody hate it brook
tell em to sling it

SCargot · 09/12/2009 19:30

if the kid is too scared
dont come! thatll learn em to stop being pansies

RainRainGoAway · 09/12/2009 19:38

In last post I meant paper - not party

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