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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have a smoke when DS is safely in bed?

175 replies

soheresthequestion · 03/11/2009 23:17

ok so i'll just come right out with it and ask the question! i have a joint a couple of nights a week when my ds is safely tucked up in bed. do other mums find this unreasonable??

I dont drink, dont go out, dont party etc. i see myself as a bit of a hippy and always have been. ok i know its illegal, but to be honest its far safer than alcohol. and at least if something happens to ds through the night i could take him to hospital safe in the knowledge that i wouldnt reek of dope like some people do of alcohol. i'm not hungover in the morning, and actually get a better nights sleep if i've had a smoke. some people have a glass of wine a night to relax, i have a joint..is it really that bad???

i'm fully prepared for the onslaught of "your a terrible mother for having illegal substances in your home while your son is there etc etc. but he never sees me doing it and its safely stashed away once i go to bed so he cant find it.

AIBU?

OP posts:

CocoK · 04/11/2009 18:57

Re. legal highs - have a peak here and in your local head shop next time you have the chance (the Camden-style ones that sell henna tattoos and bongs and body jewellery - you know the one). They'll be happy to advise you on a range of legal highs available.

GroundhogsRocketScientist · 04/11/2009 18:58

OP, one of the side effects of prolonged use of cannabis is that the user gets increasingly agressive.

With respect, you posted your OP and asked opinions. Everyone that has raised an eyebrow has either been the recipient of a few harsh retorts by you, and you have sworn at others.

I think that perhaps you are using cannabis to cope, in the same way many use alcohol. Perhaps you have an addictive personality.

I know I do.. have stopped smoking joints, and although not something i did for very long, but have had to have 2 implants to replace the ones that fell out. Have sneaking suspicion that another of my front teeth is loose now too.. will get that looked at by my dentist at my arranged appointment next week.

i've now kicked smoking altogether (3m & 3days) but I am seeing that I yearn for a glass (and now 2) of wine....

I know I have to give all this crap up, have been under unreasonable amounts of stress in the last few years, but have to learn to cope on my own.

I think the stuff IS affecting you, please be honest with yourself and if it is, do all you can to rid yourself of these harmful crutches. For your son, if not for yourself.

Boobz · 04/11/2009 19:07

I think it's fine, personally. No worse than 2 or 3 glasses of wine which I'm sure the odd person on here would have to admit to, on occasion, whilst DC are in bed.

salbysea · 04/11/2009 19:08

"salbysea, I know plenty of children of parents who have smoked dope (openly and hidden), not one of them has gone on to become law breakers themselves - except possibly to smoke some dope, although most of them don't. I think you are extrapolating a bit to far with that one TBH."

my point was that the OP said her DS was not aware of her dope smoking

I disagree that kids are that clueless about what goes on in their homes just because they are in bed

and if the OP didnt think the child knowing about it was a prob she wouldnt have make a point of saying that the kid (in her opinion) was/would be oblivious to it

posieparker · 04/11/2009 19:40

My dcs are not aware that DH and I have sex, they have no concept of that at all.

salbysea · 04/11/2009 19:42

hands up who knew their parents had sex even though their parents thought they didnt

lovechoc · 04/11/2009 19:43

wow, have you every stood next to someone that's just smoked a joint? It F**ng reeks btw. It's the most pungent awful smell you can imagine (when you are a non-smoker). So that excuse wouldn't really wash off at the hospital, it's as obvious as alcohol and I'd smell it off you mile off so would any other HP.

Enjoy.

Booyhoo · 04/11/2009 19:44

lovechoc · 04/11/2009 19:48

yep, me aswell - CRINGE.

salbysea · 04/11/2009 19:50

and I knew that santa didnt exist for at least 2 years before my mum found out that I knew it was her AND where all her hiding places were

CoteDAzur · 04/11/2009 19:59

I don't really care that it's illegal, but my objection would be:

(1) if anything happens and you need to think/act fast, can you do it?
... and
(2) will you be able to hear DC cry or call for you?

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 19:59

It is all the dope smokers saying 'yep no bother, carry on' Dope smokers are so often either completely oblivious to the stench of themselves, the change in themselves once they've had a joint, the long term effect, and how unfair it is on the people around them or they are in denial.

I have heard all the arguements for why it should be legal and (stupidly) used to agree with them . It should NEVER be legal.

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 20:01

Cote Thats another thing. they NEVER realise how much slllllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwweeeeeeeerrrrrrrr tttttttthhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyy aaaaaaaaarrrrrrreeeeeeee.

Boobz · 04/11/2009 20:03

Everyone chill out, man!

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 20:04

lovechoc · 04/11/2009 20:06

totally legal.

lovechoc · 04/11/2009 20:07

may be adventurous tonight and try some of DH's chilli chocolate...hmm

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 20:08

lol. Are we the choccie addicts on here then lovechoc??

Feierabend · 04/11/2009 20:14

OP - you go girl.

CoteDAzur · 04/11/2009 20:23

meltedchoc - I have smoked joints in the past and probably would again if offered on a rare night when we don't have care of DC. This hasn't yet happened since we had DD (4).

"Dope smokers" do actually know they are slower than normal. Slower and easy to confuse, but also mellow, reflective, and appreciating detail in music & films. So it is not a bad way to wind down from a long day when alone at home.

My objection was a "what if?" - I would worry that I wouldn't be able to react properly & quickly in case of emergency, and remembering how I would sleep like dead if I smoked before bed, I wouldn't definitely worry if I would hear DC whining in bed from a high temperature, for example.

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 20:32

I have no issue with people smoking when there are no kids around. Adults are free to leave if they want but kids are not.

Lol. They always think their minds are more open. I have heard a good few ex smokers say 'haha, I didn't mave more of an open mind, I was just stoned. NOW I can think clearly'

I have no issues with dope smokers themselves - how could I? I was one!

posieparker · 04/11/2009 20:44

Not a dope smoker, thank you.

I did not know my parents ever had sex until I was 16 and still to this day I have never heard or been made aware if such an event was occurring. My parents were very active so my mother has told me when quite tipsy!

I think moderate usage is not so harmful, as long as not habitual and more sporadic that four times every week. But many adults do smoke weed and drink alcohol and they do it sensibly without their children being made aware or in danger.

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 20:46

a few times a week every week is habitual!

posieparker · 04/11/2009 20:48

I thought it was two?

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 20:50

I thought someone had said OP admitted to it being a few and even two is habitual if it is every week.

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