to have a smoke when DS is safely in bed?

[soheresthequestion]

ok so i'll just come right out with it and ask the question! i have a joint a couple of nights a week when my ds is safely tucked up in bed. do other mums find this unreasonable??

I dont drink, dont go out, dont party etc. i see myself as a bit of a hippy and always have been. ok i know its illegal, but to be honest its far safer than alcohol. and at least if something happens to ds through the night i could take him to hospital safe in the knowledge that i wouldnt reek of dope like some people do of alcohol. i'm not hungover in the morning, and actually get a better nights sleep if i've had a smoke. some people have a glass of wine a night to relax, i have a joint..is it really that bad???

i'm fully prepared for the onslaught of "your a terrible mother for having illegal substances in your home while your son is there etc etc. but he never sees me doing it and its safely stashed away once i go to bed so he cant find it.

AIBU?

"I HAD to chose between someone pissed looking after my child and someone stoned, I know which one I'd choose"

Wow, really? I have experience of many stoned & pissed people, and even if my life depended on it, I'd choose neither!

And as to her usage....

OP = "i have a joint a couple of nights a week"

So OP 1x2 = 2 a week

Post at 01:10:59
"i have 1 joint of hash say 3 nights maybe four a week, around 10, and it lasts me till 12.30. if its been a particularly stressful day then i might have 2"

Now, 1x3/4 = 3/4, a week
or worse case 2x3/4 = 6/8 a week, which is a big difference to 2 a week!

I knew someone who had a wonderful personality, was a great friend & father. After he smoked just one joint that would all change! He was aggressive & paranoid, shouted at me once just for saying good night to him!

Don't say you don't aggressive, because you HAVE displayed aggressive behaviour here tonight. Jumping down people's throats (people, btw, whose opinions YOU sought) swearing etc!

Dh used to do the occasional joint when out with mates & I always knew when he came home because he REEKED! And that was usually a shared joint too!

I know everyone is different, but you are justifying your usage, just as drinkers do, you know that old "I can drink a bottle of Bourbon & it doesn't affect me' crap!

If you are so sure that your usage is fine, why ask? And will you take the rap for your brother when (not if) he gets caught buying it for you?

The only thing that worries me OP is that you're looking for validation, which smacks of guilt IMO. If you think it's fine, carry on.

So what if it's "habitual"? It doesn't mean anything. I have chocolate every night but that doesn't mean I am addicted nor that I will shake and shiver if I run out of nutella.

Cote Chocolate and weed are very different. (I AM addicted to chocolate btw :0) One will maybe put on a pound or two the other can make you unaware of your true surroundings. And whereas my son wont have to inhale the chocolate in the air, OP's son will have to inhale her smoke.

Habitual when it comes to dope WILL lead to addiction.

No, actually, habitually smoking weed will NOT lead to addiction. Simply because study after study after study has shown that cannabis is NOT physically addictive. You don't get withdrawal syndrome when you don't smoke for a few days or when you decide to quit.

You really should know this if you've ever used it.

"Unaware of your surroundings" - really? Whatever you're smoking, send me some. It sounds exceptional.

You become mentally adddicted, as in you are slower, more 'dopey' (excuse the pun )

meltedchocolate was just about to say mentally addicted but you have beat me to it.

yep, I totally love chocolate and it is addictive, but the smell is gorgeous so don't mind DS sniffing it if he so chooses it. Beats the stench of weed any day of the week!

HAHA you snooze you lose lovechoc.

So thats one choccie bar for you, two for me.

I think that long term dope smoking causes psychological problems and paranoia, it affects the nervous system in a way that I don't think is widely recognised. I used to smoke pre DD and my ex stills smokes reguarly, I noticed a difference in myself after a while of not smoking and feel more awake and alive for it. My ex has turned into a paranoid waster with anger problems..could be a coincidence but there's plenty more like him that I know about so I don't think it's going to do you much good. However, in answer to your question I don't think it's a biggie tbh but not really anything like alcohol imo so I wouldn't make a comparison..otherwise it just sounds like an excuse iyswim.
While yr DC's in bed he doesn't know that his Mum is smoking illegal substances or is he subjected to the smell or effects of the smoke, does that make it ok? In a way I spose..but it's up to you. It's not for me anymore..(maybe at a party..)
Bye the way, you sound pretty together really..so it sounds lke a bit of a paranoid post..ironic ay!

why are you asking?

because you want everyone to validate your choice.

Well I won't because I'm too much of a scaredy cat to do something criminal.

If you choose to - your choice, your responsibility.

Are you going to stop when your DC's become aware of it (don't fool yourself that they won;t - you can smell it really easily if you're a non-smoker)? Presumably it won't matter becasue if you think its harmless tehn you'll happy for them to smoke too.

What does "mentally addicted" even mean?

"Slower, more dopey" is while effects last - certainly not until the morning when OP wakes up. So what is your point - that OP is addicted for the 1-2 hours following her smoke until she goes to bed?

Maybe you would like to retract your claim that habitual smoking of weed "leads to addiction".

Nope I would not. In my experience it does. Mentally.

Smoking in the house while child is in bed is not fair to child. End of story. No issue with adults doing it on their own time but that is't the OPs own time if her boy is sleeping upstairs.

I agree with meltedchocolate, it's a dependance on something, the difference between 'hard' drugs and 'soft' drugs as well as food or other 'addictions' is the physical part of withdrawal is harder to go through with hard drugs such as H or crack cocaine for example but mentally you can be addicted to all kinds of things imo and coteDAzur I disagree with your argument that you are only slower or more dopey for the few hours after a joint as in my experience it's more of a lifestyle and you are pretty dopey all the time-at least in a state you otherwise wouldn't be in, there's pschological effects that could, potentially, go on for years.

If you keep smoking (more than one a day - one in the morning, one in the afternoon, for example), then of course you will be dopey all the time. If you smoke one in the evening, effects wear off by the time you wake up in the morning.

There Is No Withdrawal Syndrome With Cannabis.

With some other hard drugs mentioned on this thread, as well: There Is No Withdrawal Syndrome With Ecstasy And LSD.

You can go on about how you think differently, but it just isn't so. This isn't a subject you can arbitrarily have an opinion on. It is scientific fact. There is no physical addiction to these drugs - it just doesn't exist.

"Mentally you can be addicted to all sorts of things"

Like, an ex? Should we then outlaw love?

I'm guessing you people want to say "psychologically" when you refer to "mentally". In that case, it is the person in need of a crutch in his life who wants to keep doing something - smoke cannabis, eat chocolate, gym every night, etc. It is not the gym that is at fault here, nor is it cannabis. I really hope you can see what I am talking about here.

Ok this is what I think.
I don't believe that smoking pot is less harmful than cigarettes or alcohol. As was mentioned by a previous poster, it can bring on underlying mental health issues such as schizophrenia.

Sadly I know this because a very close member of my family was a regular smoker and it all ended very sadly (dont want to say more but I'm sure you may guess what I mean)

Anyway, my questions to the OP are:

When, if ever will you plan to stop? Your DS may be young now and not know what's going on but what if he catches you in a few years time? Would it bother you when he is a teenager if he also wants to have the occasional smoke and feels it is ok because you also do it?

How would you feel if you left your DS for the night with a babysitter and came back to find them puffing away in charge of your DS?

If the answer to both of these is that you would not mind then you may as well carry on. If not then you probably need to rethink what you are doing.

sorry I also want to add,

do you trust yourself enough for your 1 joint a couple of nights a week not to turn into 2 or 3 joints a couple of times a week, or every night?

Because there will be a big difference in your behaviour if you start doing that.
I went out with a guy at uni who would smoke several every night (why I went out with him I will never know) and he regularly used to just pass out and leave me to walk home from parties alone. Nice.

I'd hate to think how that would translate when looking after a child.

I think it's probably no more harmful than a few glasses of wine now and then.

However, the two things that worry me with the OP are:

• needing to do this several times a week to de-stress. OP mentions having two joints if it's a particularly bad day. Relying on something that is harmful just to unwind at the end of a typical day isn't a good sign - and that would be the case if it was a few whiskeys or a bottle of wine as well. Find better ways to de-stress which involve no risk eg long hot bath, exercise, good dvd, sex.

• the most worrying thing of all however, it realising it's possible to do a degree in 'addiction'. Blimey. We did proper subjects in my day.

coteDAzur, psychologically is what I mean by mentally I suppose. Yes you can be 'addicted' to an ex, you can be psychologically addicted to anything. Doesn't (of course) mean you should outlaw love. I didn't say outlaw cannabis either, perhaps someone else did.
The amount you smoke and how dopey you are depends on the person, although you can build up an immunity to things like cannabis and function ok on ridiculous amounts, the point is it's messing you up in one way or another however much you smoke imo

Ahem, is this a real thread?

Where's the OP?....

Off smoking a fat one?

finally getting around to answering all these posts..firstly i'd like to thank the few who don't paint me as an aggressive stoner who cant stand her own company

i'm aware of the legal highs described like salvia divinorim which makes you hallucinate, not my cuppa tea thanks very much! my brother smokes himself, he gets it for himself as well as me and a 1 other person...he would hardly drive 85 miles on 1 of the most dangerous roads in scotland just for my benefit.
my child is 11 months old, so really doubt he knows that i'm smoking dope lol..

of couse i'm going to tell a very arrogant poster to fuck off when they say i'm not emotionally "there" for my child..how dare they..they dont know me, or how i interact with my baby, that comment was totally uncalled for, i wasn't smoking anything when i started this thread or replyed to these comments..and am not now, and haven't for 4 weeks!if i was an addicted stoner this wouldn't be the case would it??!!
i dont need anything to enjoy my own company thank you, i'm home most evenings on my own with a nice cuppa which is all i need..i get a quater of hash a month and to those in the know will agree that is a little amount. i dont need validation for my choice to smoke dope..if my partner is ok with it then it then thats all i need! i was merly asking the question not looking for approval.

Surely, if you are doing it on the odd occasion, the effects would be quite strong, meaning you would fall into quite a deep sleep, I would be worried that you would sleep through if your dc woke in the night.

OP, you asked whether other mums find this unreasonable, it seems the majority do, why ask for an opinion and then say, if your partner is ok with it then that's all you need, seems a pointless post to me.

Firstly, why ask if everyone who disagrees with you is wrong and clueless? Attention seeking, or deep down you know it's not a good situation?

Secondly, that child of yours, you know what? Soon he won't be 11 months old. Soon he'll be two and three and four... geddit? Are you going to stop then? And if not, what excuse will you use to cover up the stink?

As I said before, I don't give a toss what you do. But stop kidding yourself.

Just read the OP, my initial reaction before reading it was "YABU" i thought you were talking about ordinary cigarettes - having watched my father die from lung cancer caused by smoking, i think every parent has a responsibility to give up the evil weed.

Funnily enough i dont think you are being any more unreasonable to smoke a bit of dope. I did at first and i thought, yep, out of order, bad mother - then i stopped and thought, hang on one minute there - I like a glass of wine in the evening, and last night i polished off a whole bottle (Minus the big fat glass DP had).

So yeah, YABU give up smoking - its bad for you!