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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have a smoke when DS is safely in bed?

175 replies

soheresthequestion · 03/11/2009 23:17

ok so i'll just come right out with it and ask the question! i have a joint a couple of nights a week when my ds is safely tucked up in bed. do other mums find this unreasonable??

I dont drink, dont go out, dont party etc. i see myself as a bit of a hippy and always have been. ok i know its illegal, but to be honest its far safer than alcohol. and at least if something happens to ds through the night i could take him to hospital safe in the knowledge that i wouldnt reek of dope like some people do of alcohol. i'm not hungover in the morning, and actually get a better nights sleep if i've had a smoke. some people have a glass of wine a night to relax, i have a joint..is it really that bad???

i'm fully prepared for the onslaught of "your a terrible mother for having illegal substances in your home while your son is there etc etc. but he never sees me doing it and its safely stashed away once i go to bed so he cant find it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
StephHaydock · 04/11/2009 08:45

I see nothing wrong with it, personally. Drink is a far worse evil in my opinion. I really do not think it's any different to having a few glasses of wine.

Ideal scenario is that nobody would ever need to rely on substances, legal or illegal, to unwind, but that's not real life.

southeastastra · 04/11/2009 08:46

should really be made legal. though that's a whole other argument

diddl · 04/11/2009 08:50

StephHaydock

I don´t rely on anything to unwind-it´s not that unusual not to, is it?

StephHaydock · 04/11/2009 08:51

I think it's very common to have a glass of wine after work to unwind. Or lots of coffee in the morning to get going. Isn't it? Or are all my friends caffeine freaks and winos?

diddl · 04/11/2009 08:56

Maybe it is common.

Perhaps I´m just lucky that I don´t get stressed enough to need to.

ByTheSea · 04/11/2009 08:56

IMO, YANBU. It is far safer than alcohol or tobacoo, both of which are legal.

Disenchanted3 · 04/11/2009 08:58

YABU.

But then I think people who drink alcohol and smoke cigs are too, so your on a loosing battle with me.

porcamiseria · 04/11/2009 08:59

OMG such judgy people here!

I dont think having the odd joint is that bad, not quite sure why you asked here though, glutton for punishment!

So all these people NEVER have a glass of wine once baby in bed in case there is a 3am emergency and they have to take them to A&E??? bullshit

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 04/11/2009 09:05

Just because it's safer than alchol or tabacco doesn't mean it's safe itself.

Someone dropped some hash at my DS nursery, a child found it, ate it and had to be hospitalised (they were hallucinating, we are talking about a very young child). Thankfully they are now fine.

brimfull · 04/11/2009 09:34

I have a brother whose mental health has been seriously affected by smoking hash

I agree with supersalstrawberry that cannabis is much stronger now than it was yrs ago.

OP -how will you feel when your ds is 14yrs old and wants to share your spliff?

Drayford · 04/11/2009 09:37

Jasper yes you would be way way off the mark. I do enjoy a glass or two of wine and the occasional nicotine hit.

I smoked dope a few times when I was a teenager and I recall that it never really did anything for me apart from make me sleepy.

madamearcati · 04/11/2009 09:55

YABU
It is illegal .Your DS would be so proud of you if you get a criminal record.

Jacaqueen · 04/11/2009 10:01

There was a programme on BBC Scotland last night called Hash in the Attic. It was basically looking at the amount of cannabis farms that have been discovered in perfectly normal looking suburban homes.

I was half asleep so didn't get all the details but they had someone on explaining the difference between imported herbal cannabis that was smoked 20 years ago. Cannabis resin derived from that and skunk. Now according to this programme most of the cannabis in circulation today is the more potent skunk variety. This was likened to the difference between drinking a pint of beer and a pint of port.

I think the programme was insinuating that people think they are smoking the relatively harmless imported variety when infact they are being supplied with the much more dangerous and addictive skunk.

brimfull · 04/11/2009 10:05

what is the difference between skunk and hash ?

Rindercella · 04/11/2009 10:06

Now, I am not a medical expert, or a dentist, but I can use Google and took Jasper's advice and Googled cannabis + tooth loss. This is the first hit.

OP, you may say you are not trying to justify what you're doing, that you're just after others' opionions, but your OP certainly reads very differently.

hanabooOOOM · 04/11/2009 10:08

oh, a lot! skunk is much much stronger

Eve4Walle · 04/11/2009 10:56

It's up to you what you do. Doesn't float my boat but I'm sure that for many people, it's a way of unwinding and dealing with stress. I wouldn't smoke it int he house though, and that's the only bit where I'd get judgey.

As for being able to get child to A&E after a smoke or a drink, you'd have to call an ambulance and I ams ure that this is what many people who've had a drink that evening do if there's an emergency.

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 11:29

I have too much experience of dope. All smokers dont htink it affects them and then when they eventually stop realise how it actually did affect them. It is not fair on your son. It is in the house. The fumes travel. YABVU.

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 11:32

'So all these people NEVER have a glass of wine once baby in bed in case there is a 3am emergency and they have to take them to A&E??? bullshit'

No i don't. Nothing. I eat a bar of chocolate and have a cuppa. NEVER would i drink or smoke or anything while DS is in the house. I used to smoke, fags and weed, and used to drink so I have I know what it is all about.

confuseddoiordonti · 04/11/2009 11:44

All this sounds as if 3am emergencies that require A&E are something that happen on a weekly basis!

EyeballsintheSky · 04/11/2009 11:49

I have to agree with meltedchocolate above. Cup of tea and biccies here. I don't drink or smoke and although I get very stressed same as everyone else I don't feel the need to smoke a joint or hit the bottle to deal with it. That sounds like a cop out to me. I don't give a toss what you do but if you down a bottle of wine or smoke a joint (which btw sounds pretty regular to me, occasional would be once a month not 3-4 times a week, that's addiction) don't kid yourself that you're a safe parent at that time. Just hope your kid stays in bed then yeah?

Bit sad really I think to have to use that as a crutch. What about growing up as an option?

ThePhantomPlotter · 04/11/2009 11:49

Don't really care what you put in your own body. You want rotten teeth and a messed up head, go for it. However I don't think it's fair that your 11mo has to live in a house filled with tobacco and cannabis fumes, at least go in the garden or the front step fgs.

herjazz · 04/11/2009 11:54

ugh the teeth

but bob marley had really nice teeth didn't he? And that was before veneers

the cancer kind of unbalances that argument tho I spose

Lulumama · 04/11/2009 11:55

you say in your op it is a joint a couple of nights a week, but it really seems to be 3 -4 nights a week and you can smoke two a night if v stressed. so maybe you need to think more deeply about this?

the while getting teh child to hospital safely is a red herring

if i;d had a couple of drinks and felt unsafe to drive my child in an emergecny, i would call a taxi or get a neighbour or family member to take us, or if it was that bad an emergecny, you'd be getting an ambulance anyway

i don't think the odd spliff is any worse than the odd glass of wine BUT you won't be arrested for possessing wine and that is the difference plus the whole drugs/terrorism issue which is not that hippified

Lulumama · 04/11/2009 11:57

i wouldn;t drive after a couple of drinks, regardless of whether it was an emergecny or not!!