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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have a smoke when DS is safely in bed?

175 replies

soheresthequestion · 03/11/2009 23:17

ok so i'll just come right out with it and ask the question! i have a joint a couple of nights a week when my ds is safely tucked up in bed. do other mums find this unreasonable??

I dont drink, dont go out, dont party etc. i see myself as a bit of a hippy and always have been. ok i know its illegal, but to be honest its far safer than alcohol. and at least if something happens to ds through the night i could take him to hospital safe in the knowledge that i wouldnt reek of dope like some people do of alcohol. i'm not hungover in the morning, and actually get a better nights sleep if i've had a smoke. some people have a glass of wine a night to relax, i have a joint..is it really that bad???

i'm fully prepared for the onslaught of "your a terrible mother for having illegal substances in your home while your son is there etc etc. but he never sees me doing it and its safely stashed away once i go to bed so he cant find it.

AIBU?

OP posts:
harleyd · 04/11/2009 12:00

i think its fine

i dont know why you care what other people think tho

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 04/11/2009 12:02

Are you smoking in the house? All the dangers of passive smoking plus getting your DS high passively. Nice.

posieparker · 04/11/2009 12:19

Have a smoke, just like most people who sit and think nothing of a large glass of wine. If you were a little tipsy/stoned call an ambulance.

Obviously smoke in the garden.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/11/2009 13:35

personally i dont see the problwm if you have a joint outside when children are asleep

yes it is illgal but so is driving and holding/talking on phone if not bluetooth

thesecondcocking · 04/11/2009 13:59

it's not that big a deal.
I personally don't smoke dope but do drink alcohol and smoke fags when the baby is in bed and outside.
Many of my friends do smoke the odd joint.if they want to smoke at my house then they use the garden like any other smoker.
If dp and i are drinking then one of us the responsible one ie if something happens then one of us is able to deal with ringing drs etc.
the op says she has a partner- i assume he's able to deal with anything that might crop up too?

madamearcati · 04/11/2009 14:39

Threre are plenty of healthy ways to unwind.Go out for a run or do yoga !

harleyd · 04/11/2009 14:48

yoga?

christ i'd rather get stoned!

angelz · 04/11/2009 14:50

Although I don't smoke weed myself, many of my friends do. I used to be fine with this, until gradually I noticed the long term effect it has had on some of them including one who now has full blown psychosis.

You may feel you are fine, (and you probably are) but you don't know what effect it may have on your child. You might not smoke in front of your child, but you share a home with them, so if you want my totally honest opinion - no I don't think your the worst mum in the world, far from it, but yes I think you are being selfish.

posieparker · 04/11/2009 16:08

Hang on the OP is saying once or twice, and then only a little, a week. Not getting stoned everyday or all the time.

meltedchocolate · 04/11/2009 16:13

OP upped it to a few times a week and maybe a couple on a night didn't they?

I think it is totally selfish. Baby doesn't get a say.

posieparker · 04/11/2009 16:29

I assume all people that object don't drink at all, either.

EyeballsintheSky · 04/11/2009 16:40

No I don't. Not a drop since you're asking.

itsmeolord · 04/11/2009 16:57

I always have a litle chuckle on these threads when people say "ooo, alchohol and tobacco are much worse..."

Hasn't occured to any of you that 99% of people who smoke a joint are rolling it with tobacco as well as the plant based drug of their choice then?

So all the dangers of smoking tobacco, which we all know about plus all the wonderful side effects that go with all the shite in modern hashish. fab.

And am also laughing at the "I'm a bit hippified" statements.
Aren't most hippies pacifists or at the very least peaceloving?
Drug trade hardly contributes to world peace does it.

Oh and by the way, you might not be doing anything risky because your brother drives it up for you rather than you going to a dealer, but what about your brother? Nice of you to consider him.

posieparker · 04/11/2009 17:05

My friend grows her own, no hydrophonics.

lollopops · 04/11/2009 17:10

I used to smoke it years ago, and to be honest, it used to make me dizzy and pass out - what a light weight I am!!

However, a lot of my friends smoke it and I have no problem with that whatsoever. Yes, it's illegal but in my opinion, it's less harmful than alcohol and if I HAD to chose between someone pissed looking after my child and someone stoned, I know which one I'd choose.

I wouldn't have anyone smoke it in my house but outside the house, I would not have a problem.

However, there are negative effects of taking this drug. When I was with my childrens' father, his whole life revolved around the drug and if it had been a choice between a packet of nappies and some dope, he would have chosen the latter. Hence why we split up. However, had I have been living with someone who NEEDED a drink every night, I would have split up with them too, even though drinking is legal (yawn)

To me, it has nothing to do with the legality of it. Who knows, in a few years, my might actually legalise it. I choose not to smoke it because of the effect it has on me, not because it is illegal.

CocoK · 04/11/2009 17:13

Just smoke a legal high outside or by an open window - some of them are just as good as the real thing and hey! they are not illegal, just like good old alcohol. IME they also wear off after a few hours or so. No problemo IMHO.

lollopops · 04/11/2009 17:16

Cocok, sorry I probably sound a bit naieve, but what legal highs are there?

hanabooOOOM · 04/11/2009 17:19

whats a legal high?

Sassybeast · 04/11/2009 17:22

To add to Itsmeolord - cannabis smoke contains many of the same carcinogens as tobacco smoke

BetaMummy · 04/11/2009 17:30

As the child of a couple of stoners (still going strong in their sixties), my experience is that you are kidding yourself that the smell isn't detectable - I can spot the smell of dope a mile off and I used to find it mortifying when taking friends home and they'd ask what the smell was. My parents aren't open smokers and have no idea I've known about it from the age of about 10. On a positive note, you may well turn your children totally off drugs as it did with me!

LeCabbage · 04/11/2009 17:48

Teh hippy thing is a load of crap ain't it?

You're not a hippy - truth is you're a bit of a loser who needs mind altering drugs to be able to enjoy your own company.

Booyhoo · 04/11/2009 18:20

LeCabbage

HenrytheEighth · 04/11/2009 18:48

lol at the cabbage

junglist1 · 04/11/2009 18:52

Bush weed, maybe. I don't like punky though. A lot of my friends smoke and I think it could cause mental health issues TBH. It's very different from the old school stuff.

carocaro · 04/11/2009 18:53

what I'd give for a joint right now. my VW Golf?

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