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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have a smoke when DS is safely in bed?

175 replies

soheresthequestion · 03/11/2009 23:17

ok so i'll just come right out with it and ask the question! i have a joint a couple of nights a week when my ds is safely tucked up in bed. do other mums find this unreasonable??

I dont drink, dont go out, dont party etc. i see myself as a bit of a hippy and always have been. ok i know its illegal, but to be honest its far safer than alcohol. and at least if something happens to ds through the night i could take him to hospital safe in the knowledge that i wouldnt reek of dope like some people do of alcohol. i'm not hungover in the morning, and actually get a better nights sleep if i've had a smoke. some people have a glass of wine a night to relax, i have a joint..is it really that bad???

i'm fully prepared for the onslaught of "your a terrible mother for having illegal substances in your home while your son is there etc etc. but he never sees me doing it and its safely stashed away once i go to bed so he cant find it.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

soheresthequestion · 04/11/2009 01:10

i have 1 joint of hash say 3 nights maybe four a week, around 10, and it lasts me till 12.30. if its been a particularly stressful day then i might have 2

OP posts:

Drayford · 04/11/2009 01:11

Just wondering about how to hold a spliff in my teeth....

Tortington · 04/11/2009 01:11

i don't drink during the week

i don't smoke cannabis.

i have always made sure that my kids were looked after by others - if i chose to do so.

i do not want the 'edge' taken off the day - i want to be in complete control if my children need me during the night, if the fire alarm went off, if they were sick etc.

so insted of semantics and compatisons.

for me personally the line is zero - unless i know my kids are being looked after by someone else.

Tortington · 04/11/2009 01:12

so you smoke 1-2 joints 3-4 times a week?

thats just wrong

hanabooOOOM · 04/11/2009 01:14

i honestly think the fact is that it affects different people in a lot of different ways, everyone here has had very different experiences. it is known to affect young boys/men in bad ways sometimes i think it is linked to schizofrenia but i also think that it is just one of many things that could set that off in someone who was maybe prone to mental problems anyway.

booooy its true that its a risk, you never know until you try if you are someone it will affect like that, luckily it didn't happen to me and i tried it long before i had my dd.

Drayford · 04/11/2009 01:15

Custy - no worse than someone who drinks a few glasses of wine 3-4 times a week surely.

HeSaysSheSays · 04/11/2009 01:15

Actually sohere, I would say that is quite a lot - well not a lot obviously but more than an "occasional" user in my book...and more than your op made out.

If you are smoking 6 joints per week say, for the sake of argument, that is a fair amount really. Obviously I have known people who have more but that is not really the point.

hanabooOOOM · 04/11/2009 01:17

thats your opinion custy... i smoked more than that and i know my dd is very well rounded, it says so in her playgroup/nursery reports, they actually said she was one of the most confident and stable children in her class. its definitely different for everyone

HeSaysSheSays · 04/11/2009 01:17

Drayford, a few glasses of wine 3-4 times a week is also quite a lot, again not alcoholic but more than wine with dinner at weekends IYSWIM, also more than recommended I think?

Tortington · 04/11/2009 01:17

drayford - no wrose than...... doesn't make it right - read my other posts

Drayford · 04/11/2009 01:21

I do SWYM HeSays - I meant that we (the public - not MNers) are not so judgemental of someone who overdoes the wine as we are of someone who is a recreational drug user. The effects are often the same for both though....

Definitely off to bed now as my brain is shutting down....

hanabooOOOM · 04/11/2009 01:21

soheresthequestion... i just read back,. are you seriously comparing skunk with heroin? because thats just wrong! heroin is one of the worst drugs around and is totally different

Drayford · 04/11/2009 01:22

Sorry Custy - Didn't read your previous posts properly

HeSaysSheSays · 04/11/2009 01:29

hannaboo, I think it was more a comparison within groups, ie heroine is to cocaine what skunk is to hash IYSWIM not saying that heroine and skunk should be compared, saying that skunk and hash are really quite different (and they are, totally different in many ways)

jasper · 04/11/2009 01:31

Drayford would I be way off the mark in thinking you smoke hash?

hanabooOOOM · 04/11/2009 01:42

oh i see

hanabooOOOM · 04/11/2009 01:43

no, if she smoked she'd know how to hold a spliff in her teeth surely

Original poster

soheresthequestion · 04/11/2009 01:44

i suspect you might have said that no matter what my answer custy

OP posts:

HeSaysSheSays · 04/11/2009 01:44

Original poster

soheresthequestion · 04/11/2009 01:49

i dont smoke 6 a week my answer was 3 maybe 4 times a week 1 a night 2 if ive had a particularly stressful day. i think it all depends on the amount of hash you put in a joint, and i always use my sparingly!

OP posts:

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 04/11/2009 07:49

YANBU
it's no worse than a glass of wine for most people. Obviously the more you smoke the less safe it is, as with alcohol. But I can't say I haven't been drunk in charge of SD (when he was asleep) or DH hasn't been stoned.
The legality argument is also a red herring - even Govt advisors who ar experts agree with you and I on that!

WayneKai · 04/11/2009 07:56

there is teh small matter of funding organised crime and terrorism through the buying illegal drugs.

but never mind i am sure as long as you drink fair trade coffee like a good hippy everything will be right witht eh world.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 04/11/2009 08:00

SD?
DS. (not stoned honest)

GibbonInARibbon · 04/11/2009 08:11

Not quite sure why you would post in AIBU when you really do not want to hear differing opinions?

Am I the only one that can see the irony in 'i used to be a drug counsellor, also have a degree in addiction'

You are doing drugs when your baby is sleeping. It's as cut and dry and simple as that.

I done way, way too many drugs when younger, and turned my back on it all in my 20's so I am aware I may seem overzealous on the 'just say no' front but I am giving my opinion. If you do this every week, a few nights a week, it's a dependancy. Wine/hash whatever, if you are dependant on it to take the edge off a bad day you have a problem imo.

diddl · 04/11/2009 08:39

I´m not getting the "I could take my son to the hospital safe in the knowledge...."

Do you really think that no one would notice that you had been smoking?

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