Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH is a bit of a baps/jugs kind of bloke, and I'm 27 wks preg...

218 replies

wheredidiputmyfone · 09/10/2009 11:08

...so, AIBU to worry about how we're going to get round the whole breast feeding thing?

I wasn't able to BF my DD1, so this never arose, and my DH hasn't said anything and wouldn't cos he's a right sweetie, but how do you deal with the leaky boobs thing when you're playing a good game of hide the sausage?

OP posts:
GhostWriter · 09/10/2009 21:40

You know when 'grow up' really rings true? When you follow it with three exclamation marks.

scottishmummy · 09/10/2009 21:40

yikes peachey bet those search terms had some scary images

BobbingForPeachys · 09/10/2009 21:41

mummee09v it is your right to say it ias icky

as it is my right to say i find people who find bf icky distinctly odd

I asked dh about the 4 births he has seen andwhether itaffected his desire for- heasked how we manged 4 if that had been the case

And I am very proud of my size 18 figure, it took a lot of cake / crisps / more cake / cake like products to get here

JustAnotherManicMummy · 09/10/2009 21:43

ROFL

BobbingForPeachys · 09/10/2009 21:43

Oh sm they did indeed ih yes

But the thing where some twat bloke was ranting at his gf because she ruined his Christmas by not giving him the gift hewanted, a breat enlargement- now !!!!!!!!!!! So many blokes in agreement. Thank goodness DH wantsa le blobgame and a digi pic frame isall I can say

scottishmummy · 09/10/2009 21:47

is bap a eumphemism for hooters then

Morloth · 09/10/2009 21:49

Why do women put up with such complete and utter twats?

Longtalljosie · 09/10/2009 21:49
Original poster
wheredidiputmyfone · 09/10/2009 21:52

It is scotsmum, always makes me giggle cos it also means a bread bun where we live, so descriptive too lol

OP posts:
BobbingForPeachys · 09/10/2009 21:52

The boobs will get bigger if you eat more cake as well

peppapighastakenovermylife · 09/10/2009 21:53

oooh! That would be nice Morloth - I can cope with the rest of me being a bit squishy if they stay magnificent

Peachy - please dont tell me you just google 'big jugs'?!

Alibooobaandthe40phantoms · 09/10/2009 21:54

AArgh indeed JAMM

Mummee - I ended up having a section, but DH saw me go through a lot of sweat, pain and tears before we got that far. He loves me and respects me even more after seeing me go through that, and he still fancies me just as much as he ever did.
Do you really think so little of yourself that you think if your DP saw you anything less than 'clean, clinical' and 'sexy' that he would go off you?
If you do then I would seriously encourage you to get some professional help dealing with your self esteem issues. As you so rightly pointed out earlier, one day it all goes south anyway, regardless of BFing or not, and at the moment you aren't equipped to deal with that day arriving, or you don't appear to be based on what you've said here.

scottishmummy · 09/10/2009 21:54

baps,is that a floury roll?morning roll in scotland ate crispy and mis-shapen.yom. even tastier if burnt

BertieBotts · 09/10/2009 21:55

No I don't think mummeeee is a troll. I have heard women with this point of view before. It's quite sad - like women who would never poo in front of their partners in case it shatters some kind of image. Everybody shits!

mummee09v · 09/10/2009 21:57

i am 29 and my DF is 38. why???

scottishmummy · 09/10/2009 21:57

it is tiresome to squawk troll just because you no likey or find post objectionable

plenty ole MN gimmers talk shite
not just the trolls

JeremyVile · 09/10/2009 22:03

Urgh. The thought of a man finding bf icky is repugnant.
At least if a woman feels odd about it, the opinion is concerning her own bodily functions. I dont see how a man even gets to offer an opinion. Especially such a juvenile, lame, insecure and selfish one as finding a baby feeding as intended icky.
He sounds hideous and about as sexy as giblets.

JustAnotherManicMummy · 09/10/2009 22:03

I thought she might be a troll because she was being deliberately provative.

But anyhoo I'm off to see if someone on another thread has managed to have their troublesome Italian removed... Ciao!

Arsed · 09/10/2009 22:04

This post in really sad.

Can't find words to get it out but am amazed that people think what their partner thinks us more important than doing the best god their baby or that anyone in their right mind woulc gave a majour operation jusv so their partner didn't get put off sex.

Jesus.

BertieBotts · 09/10/2009 22:05

Oops I seem to have taken a long time to post that. Also I meant to say - OP - I had similar concerns when I was pregnant, I knew I would breastfeed and I didn't really think about whether it bothered DP or not, but I was slightly concerned because pre-DS, our sex life did contain quite a large proportion of boob-related activity. I think I had this image while pregnant that any stimulation of the breast would result in milk starting to flow, which I thought would be off-putting. In fact I made a post to a breastfeeding forum about it (not MN - I hadn't found MN then) and can't really remember the response but I think it was fairly sensible...

Anyway the reality was by the time I was recovered enough from the birth to let DP near me again, firstly the leakage had settled way way down and really I only produced milk if DS was latched on and suckling, the milk production was nowhere near as sensitive as I had thought. Secondly I now do not enjoy the same sort of touch on my nipples as I did pre-DS, I find it irritating. I am still bf so no idea if this is temporary. Although DP enjoyed my breasts before DS was born he seems happy enough without the same level of interaction with them. Actually our whole sex life has gone downhill a bit but it's definitely not related, he's just a twat, my point still stands that I worried about it while pg and it turned out to be a complete non-issue when it came down to it.

Good luck I bet if you talk to him he will be completely bemused about you worrying!

Original poster
wheredidiputmyfone · 09/10/2009 22:06

I don't think you're a troll mummee, I can see what you mean about wanting to be attractive for your DP, there are some things I don't do in front of my DH.

But giving birth and all the stuff that goes with it, is part of your DP as well, and nothing (well...not much ) to do with having sex/being attractive.

Has your DP ever said anything that makes you think he feels he wouldn't find you attractive? Some bloke are a bit squeamish about the whole birth thing, I'm thinking of stereotypical fainting man in hosp.

OP posts:
Arsed · 09/10/2009 22:07

In thought i'd managed to catch all my typos

But am was butcam in the first draft.. I laughed so hard I missesd majour

InMyLittleHead · 09/10/2009 22:13

I do think it's sad that some people feel they can't breastfeed their children because of what their partners think.

But really... is it necessary to poo in front of one's partner? If they don't like it, is that proof that they can't hack being with a 'real woman'? Just because you are in a long term relationship with someone, there is no need to totally let everything go... A bit of mystery needs to be kept imo!

(btw this does NOT apply to breastfeeding/wife giving birth - any men who have an issue with that need to grow a pair. Mummeee, I really hope your DP isn't as bothered by these things as you think he is. Everyone deserves better than that, especially if they've had kids with someone)

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 09/10/2009 22:15

I really struggled with bf for the first few days, so much so that by the time I came home from hospital I was ff. Dh was so dissapointed, he had so hoped I would bf.
And then my milk came in, and all of a sudden I found I could do it after all. I will never forget the look of happiness and pride on his face when he came in the room and saw me bfing his dd.

I don't think you are a troll, mumeee, but your posts are immature and unintelligent.

JustAnotherManicMummy · 09/10/2009 22:17

provative?? Provocative!