Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My DH is a bit of a baps/jugs kind of bloke, and I'm 27 wks preg...

218 replies

wheredidiputmyfone · 09/10/2009 11:08

...so, AIBU to worry about how we're going to get round the whole breast feeding thing?

I wasn't able to BF my DD1, so this never arose, and my DH hasn't said anything and wouldn't cos he's a right sweetie, but how do you deal with the leaky boobs thing when you're playing a good game of hide the sausage?

OP posts:
Alibooobaandthe40phantoms · 09/10/2009 12:55

site!

sight, of course.

BalloonSlayer · 09/10/2009 13:02

OP, he might like it if you get the fountain effect mentioned above!

I always thought it would feel sexy to have big BF boobs, but I never wanted DH anywhere near them while I was BF, as others have said.

Original poster
wheredidiputmyfone · 09/10/2009 13:06

Defo not a joke post, I was using euphimisms etc so I didn't give TMI for those having their lunch lol I've been wondering for a while so for me that made it a genuine...not problem or worry, but you know what I mean.

I'm sure my DH wouldn't see it as the baby taking his 'toys' or anything, I'm laughing at the thought, but I did find it sad that mummee09v didn't BF her two because she was worried about her DP going off her. Thankfully, I don't feel that insecure about how DH feels about my much changed body.

I think it's the 'fountain effect' that seaglass descibes that got me wondering how bad it could get/for how long etc, fluids are one thing, but a large quantity of fluids...

OP posts:
diddl · 09/10/2009 13:07

Well, as I said, I never leaked milk when having sex, but tbh, if I had I think it would have bothered me more than husband!

OP, just ask him about it!

TigerFeet · 09/10/2009 13:17

my dh is a boob man (good job really as my legs/arse are in a shocking state ) and I am bfing my newborn dd2

He copes with the fact that my boobs are in use elsewhere, that they leak, that I might not want him to touch them after limpet baby has been attached to them every two hours without fail for the past two and a half weeks.

He's an adult after all

My boobs are mine, not his and not even dd2's.

Thankfully dh is mature enough to realise that dd2 needs them more than he does atm

OP talk to your dh, I'm sure that if he is a decent type then he will be fine with it

Hando · 09/10/2009 13:19

mummee09v.. are you serious, or was that post tongue in cheek?

I', not having a dig at you for not BF, as I bottle fed too, but not because I thought my DP would find it "icky".

What a very odd thing for a mother to say.

GoldenSnitch · 09/10/2009 13:23

My DH said he found me even more sexy when breastfeeding. In fact, he got so interested in the whole act that more than once, he asked for a try !!

Thier new function added to our fun rather than detracting from it and the massive size increase and hardness when they were full were of endless amusement for him.

I leaked terribly and basically lived in a breastfeeding vest with pads in for months but it never affected our sex life. TBH, I was too tired for very much sausage hiding for quite a while anyway!

Hullygully · 09/10/2009 13:25

Oh FFS.

Original poster
wheredidiputmyfone · 09/10/2009 13:33

Golden - that's a whole other matter, that did cross my mind, but it seems to be an unspoken thing, of how something that's involved in hide the sausage ( and I'm a bit surprised that some posters don't think it appropriate for them to be blokes playthings to be shared, I don't mind in the slightest) suddenly have their context changed.

So a bloke 'enjoys' them 90% of the time and then has to switch off that meaning of them. I'm not for a min suggesting DH wouldn't be able to make that switch, but I wouldn't like BF to be associated with hiding the sausage, how can they not think of them like that if they find that part of you attractive??

OP posts:
smallorange · 09/10/2009 13:33

DP found the size of them hilarious and rather impressive.

He is very proud that I've breastfed all three of mine.

Be positive about it and if you feel funny about him touching them, get a nice bra, you'll be fine.

BalloonSlayer · 09/10/2009 13:36

What Goldensnitch says is what I sort of hoped might happen for us.

But neither of us felt that way when it came to it.

Scorps · 09/10/2009 13:38

We just kept a tea towel nearby for mopping up . My DH too loves BF boobs, and TBH i think most men have tried BM.

If you need breastpads in, HotMilk have sexy camisoles.

GoldenSnitch · 09/10/2009 13:51

I would like to stress that BFing was never intimately involved with our sausage hiding (he's almost a foot taller than me, that would never have worked) but DH was certainly pleased that his favourite playthings were on show a lot and was fascinated with the changes thier new function brought on.

I did find him 'having a go' quite freaky so it tended to be seconds at a time.

mummee09v · 09/10/2009 14:34

OMG THAT IS MINGING, GOLDENSNITCH ARE YOU JOKING ABOUT DH TRYING YOUR BREAST MILK!!!!

throws up

no, my post wasnt tongue in cheek!! didnt mean to, or want to, offend anyone, but i personally find bf'ing a bit yuk. i know its good for babies etc, but i really did not fancy it. and if i see anyone doing it i have to leave the room!

i even felt utterly grossed out and disgusted when my milk "came in" after having the kids, my boobs looked disgusting {nauseous emoticon} i couldnt bear for dp to see them, as he was used to them being their usual pert 32c not the hideous huge veiny things they became for a short while!! coz they didnt change in pregnancy at all really.

i have to say though i am a bit weird about pregnancy and childbirth in general, youre talking to the girl who hates being pregnant and the changes it brings, hates putting on the weight, and also i opted for 2 planned caesareans coz i was so scared and horrified about the prospect of a baby coming out of my "fanjo" !

(prepares for flaming!)

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/10/2009 14:34

I couldn't bear DH touching them while I was BF and for a while after, but he didn't mind, and we still had plenty of sex.

mummee0V's post has really shocked me (though it shouldn't, I know plenty of people think that way) but really, you see your breasts as toys for your man? Jesus that's sad. If you can't 'retire' your tits for a few months to breastfeed your children because you don't want to upset your man...fuck.

Nothing against women who couldn't get on with BF for any reason - we all have the right to make our own choices about our own breasts - but your partner's squeamishness as a reason not to BF? Jesus. My DH would be ashamed to put me off breastfeeding.

Scorps · 09/10/2009 14:37

mummee - i used to think like you, until i tried it. Now it's the best thing i have ever done.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/10/2009 14:38

OK mummee09 I think there is a lot more going on than you gave the impression of
Methinks you have a little work to do on your fear of pregnancy/childbirth/childrearing cos that's not healthy. Although I suppose it doesn't matter if you aren't having any more - as long as you don't pass on your neuroses to your children.

JustAnotherManicMummy · 09/10/2009 14:40

Still breastfeeding now... and not a problem in the bedroom [smug emoticon]

Didn't do the deed until 8 weeks after birth and by then leakage had pretty much settled down. Also want baby to be sleeping so usually do the nasty just after DS has dropped off.

This is DH's actual face

He has a boob obsession.

BrokkenHarted · 09/10/2009 14:42

My DH loves mine normally but when it came to BFing he steered clear of them til I had finished. We found different things to do instead of the norm. Was a nice change!

Original poster
wheredidiputmyfone · 09/10/2009 14:44

I can't talk for mummeeOV, but I enjoy DH enjoying them, they're not for him and he knows that. It's a bit of posessive banter that's lighthearted and humourous, nothing to do with him 'owning' bits of me in a post-feminist/chained to the kitchen sink, way.

OP posts:
monkeysmama · 09/10/2009 14:46

I wore breastpads in my HotMilk bras for first few weeks but there was hardly any leakage during sex anyway & after a month or so none even when sucked. It is like they know dd sucks to eat & dp doesn't. Squirting is by no means what happens to every woman.

Miggsie · 09/10/2009 14:49

Oh just tell him, he may THINK he desperately needs those boobs, but the baby 100% NEEDS those boobs and to take it on the chin and make you tea and biscuits, while dreaming of the day he can reassert his boobie priveledges.

It is a necessary sacrifice of fatherhood.

diddl · 09/10/2009 14:50

Well, exactly, monkeysmama, my husband doesn´t "latch on"!!

Alibooobaandthe40phantoms · 09/10/2009 14:51

ManicMummy - that is pretty much my DH's face aswell. I've been BFing for almost 15 months and my boobs seem to be still expanding - he is a very happy man!

Mummee09 - you have serious issues there, not least of which is a definite tone in your posts that suggests you view yourself as some kind of possesion of, or adjunct to, your partner!

diddl · 09/10/2009 14:52

Sorry, I don´t get it.

Why does bfeeding mean that your breasts are out of bounds for your husband?

Swipe left for the next trending thread