Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect the staff in my son's reception class to help him pull his trousers up!!

150 replies

BrieVanDerKamp · 07/09/2009 18:31

My son has been going to school for 3 days, he is only just 4.

He has come out of school everyday with a wedgy and his boxers rolled over and over so it's all waistband and no pants IYSWIM.

Of course this is uncomfortable and it leaves an indented red ring around his waist.

Today his trousers were almost on sideways with his fly open.

You'd think they would help him, he also has a problem with one of his wrists (which they're aware of), the two bones in his forearm are fused together which allows no movement of his wrist, obviously this is a factor in him being able to do certain things.

Now his school won't help with the wiping of bottoms (I can kind of understand that) nor will they apply suncream etc.......but you'd think they could help him pull his bloody pants and trousers up FFS, bearing in mind that the new parents were assured that whilst they are new in school the kids would be supervised in the toilet!!

I will mention it tomorrow at school, but wondered if anyone else thought it was a bit off.

OP posts:
Scorps · 07/09/2009 18:33

I have issues with this too, at my school. DS! is dyspraxic and cant dress himself properly, (no buttons etc), and they never help. Another child does it for him, despite me asking them alot. Also he has come out with shoes on wrong feet, everything.

SecretSlattern · 07/09/2009 18:33

It is a bit off if his wrist condition means he is unable to do particular things. I would mention it and see what they say tomorrow.

Scorps · 07/09/2009 18:33

ds1, i mean.

norksinmywaistband · 07/09/2009 18:34

YANBU, especially considering they are aware he may have problems.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 07/09/2009 18:36

It is, but they are probably just following the rules! Nowadays, like you say, they are not allowed to put on suncream, help with personal care, put on a plaster...nothing that means they lay a hand on the child! I wrote a letter giving express permission for my children to be touched in order for their needs to be met.Perhaps you should do the same? After all, they're only doing all this to cover their backs. A letter from you releases them. iyswim.

If he needs care/support above and beyond what you'd normally expect of someone his age, is that not a case for some funded support?

SolidGoldBrass · 07/09/2009 18:37

[worried] My DS is NT and all that but he is a little skinny snake-hips and his trousers are always descending. Will they not give him a quick pull up if need be?

mathanxiety · 07/09/2009 18:38

Depends on how many DCs there are for them to supervise. Also wonder if he doesn't know how to pull up his pants by now, given his physical problem, when is he going to learn? Imo, this is a basic self help thing he should be taught to do himself; going to the bathroom, wiping and pulling up your own pants afterwards really should be a focus of your training efforts with him. Otherwise he will be a semi-invalid. If he needs help figuring out a way to do this, maybe an occupational therapist could help?

diddl · 07/09/2009 18:38

TBH, I don´t think it´s the schools responsibility.

But I would mention his wrist.

Scorps · 07/09/2009 18:41

math - if they have a physical or like my ds, is on the ASD spectrum, you can't just train them.

Original poster
BrieVanDerKamp · 07/09/2009 18:43

But the kiddies that are left screaming in the morning they pick up and cuddle (I'm not saying they shouldn't, of course they should), so why can't they pull his trousers up??

I don't think he needs care/support above and beyond what you'd normally expect of someone his age, I think most 4 year old's would atleast look a little untidy if they were to totally dress themselves, just a little help would be nice

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 07/09/2009 18:44

How would the school know about the state of his pants? If he was uncomfortable he needs to tell someone and they can help. How do the pants get like that anyway?

Are you sure supervision meant checking how they cope with going to the toilet? I would assume they mean they don't let 2 or 3 go together and muck about setting all the taps off!

TotalChaos · 07/09/2009 18:47

yanbu given he has a clear physical issue, rather than just not having been given enough practice. btw do you have any professional advice such as from OT to help him with this sort of task?

Original poster
BrieVanDerKamp · 07/09/2009 18:47

mathanxiety, ok you're just rude.

didd, what is a schools responsibility then in your opinon, cos they seem to be doing less and less for our children every year

OP posts:
OtterInaSkoda · 07/09/2009 18:47

YANBU but given the number of children they have to look after it might be asking a bit much. Wouldn't he be better off in pants rather than boxers? And trousers that don't have a fly?

Original poster
BrieVanDerKamp · 07/09/2009 18:50

hocuspontas, well I could tell he was all bunched up this afternoon as soon as I saw him, trousers turned to the side, fly open, pants rolled up above the waitband of his trousers

OP posts:
noodlesoup · 07/09/2009 18:52

I think that they should help him out given that he is one of the youngest and he has a problem with his wrist but you could meet them halfway by putting him in pants and trousers without a zip.

MaMight · 07/09/2009 18:52

Yanbu. Poor chap. Perhaps teach him my dd's trick of announcing VERY loudly to anyone who might (or might not) care "I've got a WEDGIE!"

Mind you, she came home last term with her waist through the leg hole of her knicks and one very baggy thigh hole...

CarmenSanDiego · 07/09/2009 18:53

That's so sad when a little boy can't even get a hand to sort his clothes out and is left all uncomfy all day

mmrsceptic · 07/09/2009 18:55

yes, they should have helped because of his wrist, definitely

but so should you, with different and easier clothes

MaMight · 07/09/2009 18:56

Pants might be easier than boxers?

CarmenSanDiego · 07/09/2009 18:57

He's only 4

Original poster
BrieVanDerKamp · 07/09/2009 18:58

boxers are actually the best thing for him (the stretchy kind) he manages them better then pants and I couldn't get trousers without a fly.......I looked everywhere and then had to go about 20 miles away to get the ones I did, which are also elasticated along the back, and cost 20 quid a pair, so I do feel I have done what I can.

And he is under the hospital at mo for wrist, goes once a year at mo just to make sure it's not getting worse, they can't operate to make it better, but seriously it took me 15 seconds to straigten him up, why do a lot of you think that's too much to ask??
In his class there is 1 teacher and 4 (yes 4) TA's I fail to see why one of them can't spend 15 seconds on him a couple of times a day

OP posts:
Original poster
BrieVanDerKamp · 07/09/2009 18:59

Thank you CarmenSanDiego it is quite sad and yes 4 is still very young

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 07/09/2009 19:00

Brie...you say they pick up and cuddle?

I obvioulsy sent my DSs to the wrong school for reception.

mathanxiety, that was a horrible post.

YANBU...but sadly most children in reception do have to fend for themselves. And if you say anything, you are met with those horrifying words; "Well there are 30 children in the class"

Yes, you knew that thankyou, but the government seem to think it was a good idea to throw a just four year old in with 29 ohter children and 2 staff, not me.

mmrsceptic · 07/09/2009 19:01

you should have said at the beginning of term

honestly, you must know about how schools are so strict about touching issues now, and you obviously knew he would have difficulty despite your admirable efforts

lord knows you might even have had to give express permission or something

a ta would have had to put her/his hand down his trousers

it's used to be nothing, but we don't live in that world any more

Swipe left for the next trending thread