To Wonder what this woman is thinking??

[TheLadyEvenstar]

right before i go any further please read this bit first.
I do NOT have a problem with mix race relationships but i do think this WOMAN takes it to the limit.

she has

dd1 white english
ds1 white irish
dd2 white irish
dd3 white irish
dd4 half turkish
dd5 half indian
ds2 half indian
dd6 white english
ds3 half somalian

is now pg again has 5 grand children all of which are living in her home. she has never worked and always seems to find non working husbands/partners. They have 2 houses knocked into one, and its all paid for by council!

sorry just having a moan

certainly not judged by me rincercella - i'm for you. The OP was vile and quite frankly, they are not improving. Step away from this ignorance confident in the knowledge that there is not one supporting post - so really, the only people who might judge you aren't worth worrying about.

PMSL at "it's not that I'm judging her".

Almost as good as " [I] have been branded as racist because I voiced my opnion"

look,there has been an achievement of sorts,shes on page 5 nd has fuelled many a mnetter,its her opinions,if they really are her opinions and hey we cant stop that can we,but we are all here tapping away!

I am not judging anyone who has a relationship with someone of a different race, I am not full English myself so I wouldn't. I am part Polish, Palastinian and Romanian, My maternaal great grandparents were travellers-gypsies. My Paternal Grandfather was polish. I am n

I am judging someone who has so little regard for her childrens feelings and safety that she continues to have children by men who have little regard for her or her children.

I have been branded racist for voicing my opinion which to be honest is ridiculous. I am entitled to think that having 9 soon to be 10 children by 6 men without the other men she has had living with her is not quite right.

I am NOT talking about multi racial relationships in general this is not ONE or TWO relationships it is many and many men who treated her like she was nothing. I know what I have been told by her, and by seeing for myself.
I have heard the things the children are subjected to hearing
"your mum is a slag"
"your mum has had more pricks than a second hand dart board"
That slag will sleep with anything with a dick"

need I go on? Children should not be subjected to comments like this, can you all honestly say that you would be happy to hear someone saying it to YOUR child? and that if you did hear it you would not think about what you were doing to cause these comments even if not meaning to? Would you not think something was wrong when your dd then aged 7 said to one of YOUR friends "When I grow up I want to have a lot of children like mummy and I want them all to have different daddys"
Or if you found the same child in her bedroom aged 11 with 3 15 yr old boys undressed (her not them).
Would you not think that your actions that your dd had seen had added to this?

You know the other day I was told that the life my ds1 had lived had added to the way he behaves, I took this onboard and have had a long chat with him. Yet me raising a similar concern over someone elses children is deemed racist because i mention that they are different races. I am not racist nor do I enjoy being named so. I am however aware that children and some adults alike can be cruel.

It is not the fact that she is in her 30's having children still, it is not the fact they have different fathers, its the fact that even though she knows how hard it is for her children to hear the comments thrown at them she still puts wanting more and more children before her dc she already has. She will pick a man to be a father and have 1 or 2 children with that man and then move on to the next.

If i had not mentioned the fact of the different races, it would have been a different case. Now why is mentioning the childrens races such a big deal?

If i had said she has 9 children all with different father and hair colour I would not have been classed as racist. This is PC gone mad.

No rindercella, don't get depressed. honestly, please don't ... the other day I got a bit depressed about an attitude which came to light on a different thread, but a bit like on this thread, although I was getting a bit and actually, it was really just one poster, who just kept trying to re-phrase it and justify what they meant etc... Some people told me off for being too rude to her, but they weren't agreeing with her.

good luck with ttc#2 mx

Regardless of the race of her children she should pull her knickers up get off her back and go get a job to support them all.

Maggie, I have not re phrased it or tried to justify my opinion/feelings.

I do think that this woman needs to think about how her life is affecting her children.

Just as I was advised to do with regard to my ds1 although a very different situation.

I think having ten kids is ridiculous too. But [shrug] I get more wound up about other stuff. Let her get on with it.

I was chatting recently to a woman my age who is one of 9 and that's very unusual today even in Ireland. They ALL went to university. They're all successes, on paper and in their personal lives. I think that the parents of those 9 can give themselves a massive pat on the back there. Some people can cope with a lot of children.

WHat kind of job would she need to pay for childcare for 9!?

Rocket scientist?

Maggie, I agree some people can but this woman clearly can't. There are other things aside from the immediate concern i had. I remember her eldest 2 dd's staying off of school to get the younger ones to school while she recovered from 1 of the c sections she had, because the man had been dumped by her, her reasoning was, "well I have the others to help me with the baby"

Then she wonders why her 23 yr old dd has a 7 yr old ds and a 5 yr old ds, and why her 21 yr old dd has a 6 yr old dd.

Maggie birth control advisor?

Yes but to be fair LES you made it into an issue by mentioning their races. You said;

'I do NOT have a problem with mix race relationships but i do think this WOMAN takes it to the limit' and then mentioned all the children's races.

No, if you had said 9 children with differnt fathers and not mentioned their race, you would not be labelled as racist. But you cjose to bring race into it.

FWIW I'm not saying you're racist or not. I don't know you. Just trying to point out how what you said didn't need race to be bought into it- unless you had reason to do so.

Dammit, brought plus lots of other grammatical errors.

You, the reason was basically her lack of consideration/knowledge that her children are suffering at the hands of other children. its horrible to see and hear. TBH I am glad I have moved away from there.

Princess, how have I? I have stated the facts, if being factual is making myself look a knob then I am guilty.

Yes, but would they not suffer anyway if they all different fathers? I'm sure they don't just get abuse because of the mix of race within the family, do they? I suspect that even if they were all white but with different fathers, they would still get the same bike comments and bullying they are now.

It's fair enough for you to be upset that the children are being picked on, but to be fair children will be picked on no matter what. If that's your reasoning behind the OP, it would be no different to coming along and saying 'my friend's children are being bullied as she only dresses them in own brand clothes, AIBU to suggest she's mean to not buy designer ones?' Or something like that anyway, do you see what I mean?

TLE you stating that you think this woman takes multiracial relationships to the limits is not fact. It is racist. Many people on this thread have pointed this out to you but you refuse to take that fact on board. Tis a shame.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy & maggievirgo, thanks so much for your comments . Of course it is only a very small minority with these views, but it stings sometimes to see them expressed quite so blatantly.

TheLadyEvenstar "Now why is mentioning the childrens races such a big deal?"

You seriously don't know? It is a big deal because it isn't relevant and by mentioning their races in the way that you did you imply that her poor parenting is at least partially due to the colour of the children and their fathers.

You asked for advice the other day and were given it and swallowed it even when it wasn't pleasant. This woman isn't here asking advice, you are here slagging her off, which given this is AIBU isn't that odd or even all that inappropriate, but don't be surprised when people jump on you about it.

You said she 'takes it to the limit' - knob - because of her comments "I want a black baby" and also "You never know who or what is round the corner"

you list the various mixed races of her children - knob - Facts not slagging her off.

you say she should get over having babies - knob - Err yes when she cannot financially support them.
you feel sorry for the children having 5 cultures in the household - knob - yes because she doesn't seem to be settled on what or who she wants how man other men is she going to go through until she has a child she is satisfied with?
you said 39 is too old to have babies - knob - I actually said she is 39, never said that was too old.

Morloth, I have said many times I am concerned for her and her children. What is she teaching her dc, what are they understanding about relationships etc. how much abuse do they need to take before she realises she is hurting them as well as her possibly hurting.

So why did you need to mention their races at all? It wasn't necessary to set the scene but you clearly thought it was relevant.

Morloth no, I didn't miss the other posts. OP means "original post," does it not? I am very pleased that the majority of posts were also horrified at her view. I was just throwing in my two pennies and then dashing off to feed baby.

Only read the OP but I don't think (and correct me if I'm wrong here) that TLE has a problem that she has children of differing races, more that the fact that her children have 6 different fathers? I would probably be a bit judgmental if I knew someone with kids with 5+ different fathers. But then that could be because I don't know anyone in this situation (I do however know someone with 4 children by 4 different dads and I don't judge her at all) - but then I don't know many people with 5+ children.