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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed at schools and their demands on my time and money

161 replies

bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 17:52

I don't post very often and maybe I am being unreasonable, but.....
I am beginning to get very annoyed at my children's schools and nursery's demands on my time and money.
For example, ds is starting secondary school after the summer. He has had 3 induction days for his new schools, which means he has to be dropped off there at 9:30 in the morning an picked up at 2:30 which would be fair enough if dh and I didn't both work about an hour away and have no family nearby who can help out. So basically it means taking time off work.
Also dd is starting Primary School and had an induction visit. Two days after she visited the school, she gets a letter through the post inviting her to the school for another morning's visit to watch a DVD 'Tour of the School' - yet another day off!!
It's as though schools don't actually realise that not all their children's parents either don't work or have jobs nearby that they can fit in with the various school activities their child might be involved in.
Also I have had to fork out thirty quid for assorted school trips for ds, plus dd's nursery trip plus money for assorted school and nursery photos; new uniforms;
It just seems neverending. AAAAgh.

OP posts:

edam · 02/06/2009 17:53

Am right there with you.

SoupDragon · 02/06/2009 17:54

Can't he get the bus??
Tempting to suggest she gets the bus too but I guess it's not feasible!

juuule · 02/06/2009 18:10

How is your ds going to be getting to school after the summer? Couldn't you use these induction days as trial runs? Are any others from his current school going? Can't he go with them?
Which would then just leave days off for your dd. Why don't you ask for the DVD to watch at home so reducing days off to just 1.

You are not obligated to buy school photos. They are there as an option if you want them. Don't buy them and that should reduce your expense quite a bit if the cost of our school photos is anything to go by.
Just leaves the school trip and new uniforms.
You could probably skip the school trips, too, if they are causing a problem.

Original poster

bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 19:46

He'll be getting the bus to school after the summer, which is absolutely fine. He's a fairly sensible boy and has already made short train journies on his own down to his grans. Unfortunately there is not a direct bus to his new school. When he goes, there will be a school bus.
Problem is the induction days start later (9:30) and finish earlier (2:30) than the usual school days. Also, the school are insisiting on the children being signed out by a responsible adult. On his first induction day, I didn't realise this and got a phone call from the school to see where he was.
As for the school photos and nursery, I just photos I would feel bad not buying them, since its their last years there. Sort of souvenir of their time there or something like that.

OP posts:

cazzybabs · 02/06/2009 19:50

You could just not go... I work and my dd2 is only going to one out of 3 school inductions to start her primary school

OrmIrian · 02/06/2009 19:54

"It's as though schools don't actually realise that not all their children's parents either don't work or have jobs nearby that they can fit in with the various school activities their child might be involved in. "

No they realise but it isn't/can't be their problem. I have much sympathy as I have always worked and it's a pita, but I guess they have to think of their convenience and the benefit of the children first.

Luckily DS#1 can walk to his secondary school. And DH now works school hours but in their past we had to juggle like crazy. It's awful but can't be avoided I'm afraid.

1dilemma · 02/06/2009 19:55

YANBU
I had a moan about dc1 school only giving a few days notice of sports days, assemblies, meetings anything a couple of SAHM at nursery drop-off couldn't see the problem (then I pointed out that I have to give 6 weks notice of any annual leave days!)

mind you I can't believe you got all that for 30 quid

pointydog · 02/06/2009 19:58

The indiction days should be normal full days so that they are effectively dry runs. SIlly to make them 9.30-2.30.

I also agree that if there has already been an induction day for primary, then there shoud not be another session where a parent would need to take time off.

I would send a note to the schools so maybe they could change it and make it easier for parents next year.

Original poster

bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 20:06

The thirty quid was just for the school trips. There was extra for the nursery trips, photos etc. etc.
I possibly should write to the schools but I don't want to show myself up as a moany mum right at the start.

OP posts:

slayerette · 02/06/2009 20:14

To cautiously speak out in defence of the schools as far as the induction goes - they are trying to ensure that your children settle in to their new school as well and happily as possible. And that may mean that what is convenient for parents is not as high on their list of priorities as what will help the children feel confident and positive about the transition. They probably think that parents feel the same way about this and will think the inconvenience worth it.

I agree with you about the way the cost of things mounts up though, and school photos are extortionate.

Original poster

bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 20:40

Slayerette, I do appreciate why the school's have induction days and I really do think they're important. Especially as dd will only know one child in her year
It\s just the accumulation of everything that's getting me down.

OP posts:

Tortington · 02/06/2009 20:43

its a huge bug bear of mine this issue actually.

another is presentations and homework in junior school and making costumes etc...

then they tell you that you have to read to them, fill in the reading book and sign it - leaving comments, do a maths /english/istory sheet on top of this weeks spellings

exsqueeze the shit out of me - i thought the school was there to teach them this stuff

i am supposed to parent. - but no. the school system is so busy doing my fecking job it doesn't do it's own.

junglist1 · 02/06/2009 21:04

I hate the constant fun events that start at 330 till 5 when my 2 go to after school club 3 days a week and always miss out. And no I don't have time to help on a stall, or to make international dishes. I STUDY FULL TIME. Oh and I'm not bringing plain T shirts in or cereal boxes, I have enough to carry. And last time costumes where demanded, my son went in power ranger pyjamas.

pointydog · 02/06/2009 21:05

induction days are important, but there isno reason why a high school induction day can't be usual hours.

And the op also took time off for the primary iduction, as far as I can tell, only to be told there was another daytime session which makes parents of little children feel bad if they cannot attend

golgi · 02/06/2009 21:45

I've got all this to come - starting September. I won't be able to take time off work for these things - I'm a teacher, and I can't really see my school giving me time off to go to my son's!
I've already missed various nursery things - luckily grandma is willing and able to go instead.

1dilemma · 02/06/2009 22:04

Oh and we've had different days when one or other has been off since after Easter(or will have done so by Thursday-is it really that hard for them to do all voting outside schools? -especially since there will be another soon!)

I feel s mean posting that about the election closure I loved it when that happened to me as a child

Lilyloo · 02/06/2009 22:09

I know why the schools do it but it does make things very difficult.
Even more so when they start school and do half days or at my dd school staggered start dates depending on age.
This was a nightmare for me when ds started and i worked luckily i am not working when dd starts this time!

Original poster

bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 22:10

pointydog. The worst thing about the extra primary induction was that not only did they send me a letter telling me about it, but they also posted a handwritten note from one of the current Primary 1s inviting my dd. Talk about piling on the guilt - when I have to tell her there is no way we can actually go as I have not got enough leave left Any leave I do have is being saved for when she does start school and is half days for the first God knows how long.

OP posts:

Original poster

bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 22:12

xpost Lilyloo about the half days
And yes, I had forgotten about ds's school being shut on Thursday for the elections. But at least I can see him onto a bus to his grans then and not take the whole day off.

OP posts:

1dilemma · 02/06/2009 22:13

think the note bit is out of order TBH

1dilemma · 02/06/2009 22:13

glad I reminded you about Thursday

Original poster

bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 22:15

I'm sure ds would have reminded me eventually. Like about 8 o'clock on Thursday morning

OP posts:

Paolosgirl · 02/06/2009 22:19

We've got the same thing - 2 days induction for DS prior to starting his new high school. Instructions are that they have to be dropped off and collected. We've got any number of sports days, end of term concerts, open days to see their project work, plays, closures for election days and so on and on and on. This all requires time off work, so unfortunately we don't always make it, which is a shame for us and the DC's. They are also off every Friday afternoon here, ostensibly to allow teachers to attend training (in addition to the increasing number of inset days ), but which no teachers use for that purpose as far as we can all see.

The constant demands for money is also a big bugbear. End of term treats, DS's school centenary celebrations, school fairs, sponsored this and that, photos at nearly £20 a pop, trips here and there - as well as new uniform for DS when he goes to high school.

I am a strong believer in supporting the school, but the time off that we are supposed to take in addition to the horrendous school holidays is just beyond a joke, and the cost of simply sending them a state school is getting ridiculous. Plus all the time required to check homework, help with research projects, make various things - I'm really getting sick to the back teeth.

pointydog · 02/06/2009 22:22

bloody hell, paolo, you aren;t happy with anything

pointydog · 02/06/2009 22:22

how do you know what they all do on a friday afternoon?

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