to be annoyed at schools and their demands on my time and money

[bogwobbit]

I don't post very often and maybe I am being unreasonable, but.....
I am beginning to get very annoyed at my children's schools and nursery's demands on my time and money.
For example, ds is starting secondary school after the summer. He has had 3 induction days for his new schools, which means he has to be dropped off there at 9:30 in the morning an picked up at 2:30 which would be fair enough if dh and I didn't both work about an hour away and have no family nearby who can help out. So basically it means taking time off work.
Also dd is starting Primary School and had an induction visit. Two days after she visited the school, she gets a letter through the post inviting her to the school for another morning's visit to watch a DVD 'Tour of the School' - yet another day off!!
It's as though schools don't actually realise that not all their children's parents either don't work or have jobs nearby that they can fit in with the various school activities their child might be involved in.
Also I have had to fork out thirty quid for assorted school trips for ds, plus dd's nursery trip plus money for assorted school and nursery photos; new uniforms;
It just seems neverending. AAAAgh.

TsarChasm "Agree about reading, but you have to be careful to foster a love of it or it's looked on as a chore and just another bit of homework." -

Exactly. That is what I was thinking when I first posted on this thread (about 6 pages ago! ). In my DS's case he loves being read to, but totally shuts down when I go through the keywords and ORT books that the school send home. Every other day I don't do the ORT book and just read him stories of his choice instead, as I really don't want to put him off books for lfe.

lol - ingles if only!

Ooh those awful keywords. Who wants to learn lists and lists of random words?

Dt's used to come home with so so many of those in reception and used to get terribly fraught about it all; we just didn't do them in the end because I could see that to them this was it. Reading. Yuk.

Somehow we got there in the end and the joy that they can actually do it is lovely. Like watching them wobble off on two wheels without stabilisers.

Back again. I haven't fled, just been at work .
Lots of interesting points made here.
One thing I would like to say is that I really would love to do many of the things that schools ask parents to do. I would love to come in and help with reading; go to every school event and drop my son off / pick him off at induction days; bake cakes and make costumes; help with homework; go on school trips etc, etc, etc
But, I just can't, physically, mentally or time-wise. I have 4 kids (admittedly two of them are old enough not to need much looking after), work full-time and have a 2 hour commute every day. Obviously, in the eyes of some posters that means I shouldn't have had children. But, hey ho, I do and I try to do my best for them.
All I would like is for schools to maybe just think that children and parents have lives out of school and to try to appreciate that their circumstances might make doing a lot of things that schools ask difficult. It's all very well to say don't do it 'send your child on the trip' or 'buy the photos' or whatever, but no-one wants their child to be the odd one out or the one left behind when the others are away on that school trip or visit.

Great post, bogwobbit. I'd been thinking about this thread today (as you do ), and what you say about wanting to help but being unable to because of the demands that are made on you by your own workplace is so true.

Dh and I don't even have enough annual leave to cover the school holidays, so when the schools have so many days for this, that and the other thing in addition to the holidays we have to either tell the DC's we can't attend, which is upsetting for them, or we have to cancel our leave in the school holidays, take them in the term time and then take on the added expense of paying for holiday care for the 2 of them. That in turn causes us major finanical problems. I can't even begin to imagine how single parents manage

I'd echo bog's sentiment - I just want the schools to think a little bit more about the resources that parents have available to them given that most work outside the home, whether those resources are money or time or annual leave.

I am unable to help with reading at school, to drop my children off, to bake lots of cakes, to go on school trips and I am unable to attend any daytime school events. And I don't lament the fact - it just can't be done. My kids don't mind much either. Some parents can do things so I don't mind a newsletter asking everyone.

However, I can put together a simple costume (although I do that for guides/girls club, hallowe'en or friends' parties rather than school events as ageneral rule). I can give items to the tombola. I can find time to help with homework although it is sometimes rushed and sometimes we all get frustrated. A couple of times I helped tidy the school garden in the evening.

If I don't like a photo I don't buy it. I don't understand why this would ever be a problem.

I pay for school trips because they are great fun and the school is fairly careful about how much it asks for in a year (if not, I would politely complain).

I can't think of any working people who have enough annual leave to cover the school holidays. I have used holiday clubs and childminders. I don't expect school to cover my childcare. dh keeps several days back each year to cover illnesses.

You sound like big moaners.

I have skimmed through the last 4 pages but will have to read it properly again, very interesting thread!

It made me realise how much our school (well, my children school really) does to make the parents life easier. i know the thread has moved on from PPA but I would like to share with you how things happen in our school. Teacher have 1/2 day a week of PPA, they have a french teacher that takes over the absent teacher and gives the children french lesson for an our or so, and the remaining time is spent in the computer suit with the ICT teacher, on some weeks they do split in groups and do art as well! I always took that for granted but I will now let them know how much appreciated it is!

Pointy dog, I thing you make a lot of good points, the school has to ask all the parents both to inform them that things have been/will be done and to make sure that at least a few parents who have/can make time will come to the events. Can you imagine a school that informs only the parents that might be interested ? I for one do not think it is logistically(sp?) feasable (what citeria would you use to decide which parents to ask? The money they make? SAHParents? How much the parent loves the child?) and there would be an uproar of parents who would not be happy not to have been kept in the loop!

Same thing really with things to buy from school or to donate to school (cakes...). The school by asking ALL the parents is giving them an opportunity to do so, not an obligation.

I am in two minds about the school trips, it is a bit more delicate, if you cannot afford it you feeel horrible because you are depriving your child from a learnig experience and a good day of fun. I think there is room for improvement in that domain. Maybe the PTA in some instances could "pinch in" for school trips?

WRT to reading, or learning the key words, I always found it a struggle, not because it takes my time but because my DCs seem to not be very receptive at home. They are all hard workers in school but they do not enjoy doing the same at home and I am probably not very good at passing my love for reading or writing to them!

Oh and last (I promise I stop after that), the costumes! I let my DCs make their own most of the time. They are not perfect but the DCs get the satisfaction of doing them + it keeps them buisy for a bit!

youspeaks sense, gorio

I had been thinking about this today. Then after school today come home another three notes, one asking for permission, another asking for permission and money for tickets and one with about 20 dates for things happening during the termtime. Plus a CD of songs to be learned for 'Festival of Voices'. Plus two sheets of homework.

And part of me thinks 'the school has to do these things if the kids are going to do activities'. And the other part of me just thinks 'oh bloody hell'. Something else to do/pay for.

Paolosgirl, you said " I just want the schools to think a little bit more about the resources that parents have available to them given that most work outside the home, whether those resources are money or time or annual leave."

I don't think I understand. Do you mean that schools shouldn't organize activities because some parents might find it difficult? Or that the letters should only go out to those parents who do have the time or money to participate? Or what?

mama we did make the suggestion (with some trepidation since head always makes me feel like naughty child even when I've been good all day) I know for a fact they had over 48 hours warning of a strike affecting 2 classes before they told us (and they specifically led me to believe that they were not going to be affected). There are about 6 children in the classes with both parents working outside the home so I wrote to say couldn't they have written to parents a day earlier, e mailed parents, made proper arrangements like many schools did or even tried to contact those they know were severely affected (not a great option I accept but since only 2 classes were affected they could have written to them first.)
I got one of those cruddy letters back that schools/NHS/whoever excel at whereby they say nothing of any substance, attempt to make out you are wrong and NEVER apologise. Yet another gripe to add to my list about the awfulness of our school.