to be annoyed at schools and their demands on my time and money

[bogwobbit]

I don't post very often and maybe I am being unreasonable, but.....
I am beginning to get very annoyed at my children's schools and nursery's demands on my time and money.
For example, ds is starting secondary school after the summer. He has had 3 induction days for his new schools, which means he has to be dropped off there at 9:30 in the morning an picked up at 2:30 which would be fair enough if dh and I didn't both work about an hour away and have no family nearby who can help out. So basically it means taking time off work.
Also dd is starting Primary School and had an induction visit. Two days after she visited the school, she gets a letter through the post inviting her to the school for another morning's visit to watch a DVD 'Tour of the School' - yet another day off!!
It's as though schools don't actually realise that not all their children's parents either don't work or have jobs nearby that they can fit in with the various school activities their child might be involved in.
Also I have had to fork out thirty quid for assorted school trips for ds, plus dd's nursery trip plus money for assorted school and nursery photos; new uniforms;
It just seems neverending. AAAAgh.

Kind of, but I left mainstream because it was less about teaching and more about being a nurse/counsellor/social worker/parenting instructor/financial advisor/spiritual leader etc etc.

londonone "sorry to say but there are far far far more shit parents out there than you might realise. I certain didn't realise how many and howe awful until I started teaching" - you're probably right actually. I still don't think that teachers should be expected to make up for a lack of good parents though!

Do you find that you get personally involved or do you find a way to switch off? How long have you been teaching? (sorry, I know this is wandering off from the OP now, but am interested).

EvenBetaDad - don't worry, I can get arsey at the drop of a hat, it will happen soon!

londonone - I agree on the awful parents thing. My sister worked in inner London Primary Scools and she said there are parents who hae NEVER read to their child and see no reason to do it. There has to be a balance that is all I think many parents feel has gone too much the other way to loading it all on parents

I went to a very ordnary state village Primary school. My parents did not sit there every night ploughing through readng books with me or teaching me maths. Indeed, I barely got any homework. I was done at school. My parents cme to school about 3 times a year and never made a costume for a play.

londonone your last post has just answered my question I think! And obviously we agree on most of this stuff anyway ...

Interesting how this thread has progressed from the original post! Is the OP coming back? Or has she ducked & run for cover?!

You have to switch off or you would be a quivering wreck! I actually left mainstream due to all sorts of unrealistic expectations and the realisation that no matter how much you put in it could all be destroyed by some of the appalling parenting! I would have loved to make sure my y6 class were secure in the basics of literacy and maths, instead I had to spend months drilling them for SATs in order that the LEA (not even the school) looked OK. Couple that with ludicrous government ideas (mandarin classes for Y6 children when 80% of the class are EAL and bi or trilingual already!! Silly me I thought it was more important to get their English up to scratch!) and I am sure you can see why I no longer wanted to be a classroom teacher. I am now a specialist teacher working in behaviour consultancy.

Evenbetadad - "Just lays in bed until 10.00 a.m and barely does any work. He is 15 and will get no GCSE grades - yet I can see he could easily go to a top University. "

He might still go to university if that's what he wants. If you go over to the home-ed board you will probably find people who have/have had children doing similar to what you describe with you nephew and their children have gone on to university or do well in other things. It might help you feel better about your nephew's education (or not of course).

Londonone - "I agree with you that the government has got its priorites skewed "

If as appears, many teachers disagree with govt priorities why are they not more vocal about it. I think they would be listened to more than 'just' parents. Who are more likely to be told 'if you're not happy with it, find something else'.

I had exactly the same Primary education EvenBetaDad...and you tell the kids that today and they don't believe you

But it worked didn't it? I came out knowing very well what I needed to know. No homework and there was a very definate line between home and school. It's all mixed up now and we take up the slack with too much homework.

juule - Are you kidding, the government always prioritises parents over teachers! After all there are far more votes in parents! The Teaching unions have been pushing for SATs to be dropped for ages but parents like league tables etc hence the government being so keen!

No I'm not kidding - just saying how it looks from where I am

What a weird thread. I started reading the beginning and there were loads of posts complaining about things like helping with homework, buying uniform, induction days, making costumes... isn't the whole point of school for us to help our kids do interesting and useful things, make the most of the opportunities there cte?
It would not cross my mind to complain about this stuff but then I did home eductae for a while so it puts a diff perspective on it maybe...at the moment, while I dislike the whole ethic of school, my son is enjoying it, and I am grateful for their efforts at educating him, letting him do exciting things I couldn't be bothered to organise, feeding him every day (free meals yippee!) and keeping him relatively safe while I do some housework.

I don't get what people really expect schools to do - have our children 365 days a year, 7am till 7pm?

I agree they can be far too nosey regarding lunch box protocol and so on. I also have many issues with the discipline and so on. But on the wqhole if I have to make a costume (leaf cutter ant this week) or sub a couple of quid for a trip, that's minimal.

As for buying photos - if you don't want them just take your own!!!

tsarchasm - In many schools the main complaint from parents on the OFSTED questionnaires is not enough homework and FWIW I don't consider reading to be homework.

Sorry juule that wasn't meant to be having a go!

juuule - thanks for the tip on the Home Ed threads. I might well go and have a look but TBH I just feel it might be a bit - you know 'evangelical'. No harm in lurking and learning through.

TBH, I have have to bite my lip with my sister. She has a heart of gold and my nephew is in many ways the kind of young man I want our DSs to be - he is well brought up, sensitive, caring, artistic, and an adult in the maturity of his views of the world but his chances are just being thrown away academically and he is suffering form lack of social interaction and witdrawing into himself. Learning no independence from his mother, not making friends and learning to deal with people. I wish she would also move out of London - but she will not.

I have heard/read that re parents wanting more homework.

I've never met one though. At least the majority of parents I speak to seem to think there's too much and it's often the consensus on here too.

londonone...i'm actually on your side...i think teachers have enough to do without all the added extras...

I always used to give the least homework I could! Usually none, was always being ticked off for not complying with the homework policy!

here you go Tsar... I was one of those weirdy parents who wanted more homework
Actually I just wanted some homework, some reading, a couple of spellings, x tables but we didn't get a single thing in 4 years.

Ingles - Surely you can do reading without it being set as homework!

Wow Ingles..we've had all sorts. I don't mind some (limited) back up practice stuff at home. But sometimes I think we're starting from scratch with topics.

Agree about reading, but you have to be careful to foster a love of it or it's looked on as a chore and just another bit of homework.

londonone - I just wanted to say I think what you are saying is pretty balanced and fair.

It seems there is a lot of junk being landed on teachers from above and something has to give. I suspect most teachers would rather have more freedom to teach 'the basics' in a creative and interesting way rather than set loads of homework and then grind through one initiatve after another with the kids while they are actually at school.

Just to say that after quite alot of moaning to my DC's primary school about the lack of notice for events they now issue a newletter per term which details all the up coming events - perhaps posters who have this problem could make the suggestion?

Also, now my DC's school has a new headteacher, all the forms coming home asking for money for "educational" visits ask for a "Donation" as opposed to a "fee" which was on the old forms - I believe that schools are not allowed to "demand" money for trips - I could be wrong, any MNers know for sure?

Of course you can do reading without it being set as homework and of course we did, along with x tables,spellings and all the things I thought they should be doing.
Would be nice though if you thought the school was supporting you and vice versa as opposed to I may as well be home educating.
we left that school last september and I hear the head is about to hoiked out.

You cannot demand money for trips and you can't exclude children who cannot afford it, but the simple fact is if no one pays there will be no trips as there isn't money in most schools budget for it.

ingles - your post has just shown why schools can't win. You are complaining about exctly the opposite of the other parents on this thread!

course schools can win! It's called finding the middle ground