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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at schools and their demands on my time and money

161 replies

bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 17:52

I don't post very often and maybe I am being unreasonable, but.....
I am beginning to get very annoyed at my children's schools and nursery's demands on my time and money.
For example, ds is starting secondary school after the summer. He has had 3 induction days for his new schools, which means he has to be dropped off there at 9:30 in the morning an picked up at 2:30 which would be fair enough if dh and I didn't both work about an hour away and have no family nearby who can help out. So basically it means taking time off work.
Also dd is starting Primary School and had an induction visit. Two days after she visited the school, she gets a letter through the post inviting her to the school for another morning's visit to watch a DVD 'Tour of the School' - yet another day off!!
It's as though schools don't actually realise that not all their children's parents either don't work or have jobs nearby that they can fit in with the various school activities their child might be involved in.
Also I have had to fork out thirty quid for assorted school trips for ds, plus dd's nursery trip plus money for assorted school and nursery photos; new uniforms;
It just seems neverending. AAAAgh.

OP posts:
Original poster
bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 22:29

At least ours still go to school on a Friday afternoon, although the council are trying to change that

OP posts:
Paolosgirl · 02/06/2009 22:29

Because a)my friend is a teacher at the local school and tells me so, and because b)a whole load of them troop over to the local pub for a long leisurely lunch and because c)another load of them power walk on Friday afternoon and becuase d)a lot of the others also live locally and are at home looking after their own children.

That answer your question? No, I'm not happy with the constant demand on both my annual leave when no-one else in the working world gets anything like enough to even cover the school holidays never mind anything else we're now expected to attend, and my purse. What's wrong with that?

pointydog · 02/06/2009 22:33

But everyone knows school hours. They are not arranged around people's childcare. But I won't say any more as you are obviously irrationally angry about it all

stealthsquiggle · 02/06/2009 22:33

Blimey, Paolo - I am sure you do have a legitimate point, but taken at face value your post says "I just want to offload my children for the maximum possible time and have no involvement in their education".

I am aware that since my mother was (a) a teacher and (b) an interfering involved parent I may be coming from the other end of the spectrum, but still, .

mumblechum · 02/06/2009 22:39

If it's any consolation, I've found that the demands fall away almost completely once they're established at secondary school. There are a couple of PTA things per year on which we've never attended (golf days at £80 per person but other than that they don't expect you to take any time off other than inset days, and once you've paid your annual cheque for £25, virtually no requests for funding other than school trips which are usually pretty reasonable.

The primary years were awful, forever having to take mornings off work for class assemblies, harvest festivals, church services, nativities etc.

Paolosgirl · 02/06/2009 23:04

No, that's not it, pointy and stealth, but I guess you can read whatever you like into a post if it doesn't suit you. We'll agree to differ.

I'm hoping that is the case mumble. I have friends whose children are at high school, and it does seem that they are more aware of the financial demands on parents. The school my son will attend asks for around the same amount of money on an annual basis, which means less demands for the extras that the primary schools ask for at short notice. They also seem a lot more understanding of the demands that parents are under from their own workplaces, and so schedule more things in the evenings. I suppose with exams being the focus there is less time to have sponsored skipping and so on.

Paolosgirl · 02/06/2009 23:05

The same amount as yours ie £25 I mean

TsarChasm · 02/06/2009 23:13

Custy...YES! YES a thousand times!! to your post.

Sometimes I want to ask why they dont just ditch the dressing up days x10 a year and the over bloody interest in dc's packed lunch and just teach them some basics. The stuff they keep sending home for us to teach.

mumblechum · 02/06/2009 23:23

TsarChasm, I've just got your name!!

LightShinesInTheDarkness · 02/06/2009 23:24

I just sometimes wish we got more notice about the trips. DS(8) has been offered the chance to go on a long weekend (3 night) residential trip. It costs £160. For an 8-year old?

It seems a lot to me. I could find reasonable accommodation for all 4 of us in a fmaily room somewhere for that money.

But I will go without something else to pay for it, because I would not want him to not go with his friends. Just wish we had known sooner so I could have put money aside.

TsarChasm · 02/06/2009 23:30

Oh dear LightShines. At 8? Gosh your school is starting early on the 'expensive school trip'.

I'm still reeling from the one they've landed on us for dd(aged10). At nearly £200 that's our summer holiday money now spoken for .

I'm really annoyed that 1) It's pushed so heavily that it's virtually impossible to say no to the trip and 2) that we've been given so little time to pay for it. Really annoyed actually .

JenniPenni · 03/06/2009 07:56

Helping with homework??? Buying a school uniform??? Welcome to 'being a parent'... ;) Pretty standard things there... nothing changed since I was at school.

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 03/06/2009 08:05

Friday afternoon off?? When did this start? Why?? Why can't teachers train in the holidays? (Yes I know they have very stressful jobs and need time off but lots of people have very stressful jobs and don't have that sort of holiday time)

LovelyRitaMeterMaid · 03/06/2009 08:09
seeker · 03/06/2009 08:16

It's such a pain when children's lives impact on their parents, isn't it?

I'm thinking of setting up a 365 day a year boarding school - I'm sure I'd have lots of takers. Well, maybe 364 - they could come home for Christmas.

slayerette · 03/06/2009 09:32

@ seeker

Stigaloid · 03/06/2009 09:41

Can you not ask the school whether these are mandatory or not and explain your workng situation? Am sure you don't have to attend all. Do you know of any other children going to the school nearby starting at the same age? Can you not ask their parents to take them on one day and you on another?

seeker · 03/06/2009 09:42

"AIBU that my children's school is changing its policy and is insisting that they come home for their birthdays AS WELL as Christmas?"

Gorionine · 03/06/2009 09:57

I agree with you about how pricey things are getting in school OP.

WRT school tours (not inductions, I do not know how you can actually get out of this one unless you can arrange for another parent for drop off/pick up), most schools I know are happy to arrange for a "private tour " at your convenience.

For the last two years in our school, a lot of the parent things (for parents of new intake children, Sats informations, high school introduction...) are held in the evening so more parents can come and children are usually welcome too if hard to arrange child care. We are also usually offered drinks and little nibbles. Maybe you could ask the HT at your school if there was a possibility to schedule meetings with parents in the evening?

I do really think these meeting are important as they give you the bigger picture about the school : you get to meet the teachers and importantly as well, the other parents, so you really know what you are letting yourself/your Dcs in!

bigchris · 03/06/2009 10:06

is the friday afternoon off at secondary school?
if so I'd just give them a key and they can get themselves home

Paolosgirl · 03/06/2009 10:24

Yes, it applies to all schools, primary and secondary, SN schools, nurseries - the whole lot. It's a nightmare trying to find childcare in the area, as everyone wants it on a Friday. There are a couple of after school clubs which are oversubscribed, as are the childminders in the area - and of course the shopping centre is hoaching with teenagers on a Friday who have been given a key!

TheProfiteroleThief · 03/06/2009 10:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 03/06/2009 11:12

starting secondary school is scary enough without missing the induction days! Honestly, they are really important.

londonone · 03/06/2009 11:25

Paolosgirl - INSET days haven't been increased and are actually taken out of holiday time. Teachers are entitled to 10% timetable away from children for PPA which I should imagine is the friday afternoons. All the concerts, plays sports days etc are FOR THE BENEFIT OF YOUR CHILDREN. They are of no benefit whatsoever to schools and teachers.

Schools are there to educate your children not provide you with free childcare. They are your children YOU need to look after them, not the state.

londonone · 03/06/2009 11:27

LIBRAS - Training days are in the holidays.

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