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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at schools and their demands on my time and money

161 replies

bogwobbit · 02/06/2009 17:52

I don't post very often and maybe I am being unreasonable, but.....
I am beginning to get very annoyed at my children's schools and nursery's demands on my time and money.
For example, ds is starting secondary school after the summer. He has had 3 induction days for his new schools, which means he has to be dropped off there at 9:30 in the morning an picked up at 2:30 which would be fair enough if dh and I didn't both work about an hour away and have no family nearby who can help out. So basically it means taking time off work.
Also dd is starting Primary School and had an induction visit. Two days after she visited the school, she gets a letter through the post inviting her to the school for another morning's visit to watch a DVD 'Tour of the School' - yet another day off!!
It's as though schools don't actually realise that not all their children's parents either don't work or have jobs nearby that they can fit in with the various school activities their child might be involved in.
Also I have had to fork out thirty quid for assorted school trips for ds, plus dd's nursery trip plus money for assorted school and nursery photos; new uniforms;
It just seems neverending. AAAAgh.

OP posts:
LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 03/06/2009 11:59

a GOOD teacher doesn't need dressing up to bring a subject alive. We had good teachers in the bad old days when dressing up wasn't done and we had to do our own homework

"Teachers work on average the same hours over a year as most people. It just gets crammed into term time. "

How?

londonone · 03/06/2009 12:00

tsarchasm - honestly why do you think schools would do them if not to benefit the children or provide them with some enjoyment? Do you really think teachers like to get dressed up?

Libra · 03/06/2009 12:02

WRT Friday afternoons off, our local council tried to introduce that one this year. Their mistake was to issue a consultation document and pledge to abide by parents' views.

They did not introduce Friday afternoons off.

EvenBetaDad · 03/06/2009 12:02

MumyDragon - that drives me nuts as well.

"then they tell you that you have to read to them, fill in the reading book and sign it - leaving comments, do a maths /english/istory sheet on top of this weeks spellings.

i thought the school was there to teach them this stuff"

Why do I have to sit teaching my kids to read? Practicing their spelling?

FGS, I even had to deconstruct the completely bonkers method DS1 had been taught by his teacher to do multiplication of 2 digit numbers (e.g 53 x 29) the other day. He had got everything wrong in his homework by using her method but it was only when I sat and taught him the method me and DW learned 35 years ago he got them all right.

Private schools have shorter terms than state ones and I think I make up the difference. I might as well Home Ed at times given all the dressing up days, school trips, and the days I spend in the school on top of that.

TsarChasm · 03/06/2009 12:02

Yes I think they must.

Do all the fun stuff at school and then send the project work home to be done with the parents .

MummyDragon · 03/06/2009 12:03

libras - to answer your question, my DH is a teacher. In term-time he works on Saturdays (in addition to Monday-Friday) doing school sports fixtures - for no extra pay. He is frequently at work until 7pm doing paperwork or having meetings, and parents' evenings go on until 9.30 p.m. There are at least two of these per month. He also does loads of after-school activities and sports fixtures, takes kids on 10-day-long school trips during the holidays (which the parents think are a holiday for him but I can assure you that they are NOT!!) .... and he does preparation, paperwork & marking during the school holidays. He also has to be at school by 8.15 a.m. so he is never able to drop our own kids off at their schools, and his lessons finish at 4.00 pm so even if he left straight away he could not pick our kids up from school at 3.15 - i.e. being a teacher does not make it logistically easier to be a parent!

Yes, he has more annual leave than most other jobs, but factor in all the out-of- hours work and it all balances out. Also bear in mind that teachers cannot go to the loo/have a drink/make a personal phone call/take a day off for anything (unless medical/funeral) unless it's in school break times or holidays!

That said, he is bloody lucky to have those long holidays because, let's face it, he DOES get to enjoy himself and to spend time with our DCs

daftpunk · 03/06/2009 12:04

londonone...i don't expect schools to be a baby sitting service...but i like the favour returned...i don't expect schools to think im a clothes designer who can run off a costume in a week...i cant....plus i don't think it adds much to the childs understanding of the subject.....i emailed our school telling them i would not be making any more costumes..sod it.

londonone · 03/06/2009 12:04

Libras - What do you mean how? If you calculate the hours worked by teachers over a year it is roughly the same as other professionals i.e working 60+ hours a week during term time and less in the holidays.

PAOLOSGIRL - How many times, In England INSET is during holidays. IT's not really possible to do lesson planning and marking in a 6 week block in the summer!

harleyd · 03/06/2009 12:05

"FGS, I even had to deconstruct the completely bonkers method DS1 had been taught by his teacher to do multiplication of 2 digit numbers (e.g 53 x 29) the other day. He had got everything wrong in his homework by using her method but it was only when I sat and taught him the method me and DW learned 35 years ago he got them all right."

same here evenbetadad...ive had to spend hours re-programming ds1..i even went to the school to see what the hell was going on with this 'new' method of teaching, and they agreed with me that it was bonkers

londonone · 03/06/2009 12:06

Seriously evenbetadad pleas do home ed.

londonone · 03/06/2009 12:07

daftpunk - I am sorry I don't understand, what favour do you think the school owes you?

MummyDragon · 03/06/2009 12:08

EvenBetaDad - I am right with you on the teaching your kids to read thingo ... I have to do phonics/spelling/reading set texts with my DS, and fill in the bloody comment book, every day. Every single day!! I completely see why the school wants the parents to do this - let's face it, it's a private school and, on some level, of course they are money-driven and results-driven (the two aren't mutually exclusive, are they?!) but for feck's sake, I am married to a teacher and even I do NOT think that it would be outrageous to expect the teachers to teach my child to read and write BY THEMSELVES!!!! He's at school for 35 hours a week; that should leave plenty of time for dressing-up, sports, music, play etc etc as well as reading, writing and arithmetic!

Oh, perhaps they could drop all the government propaganda environmentally friendly stuff they teach them and perhaps concentrate on the three Rs instead?

TsarChasm · 03/06/2009 12:11

'Oh, perhaps they could drop all the government propaganda environmentally friendly stuff they teach them and perhaps concentrate on the three Rs instead?' Amen to that.

londonone · 03/06/2009 12:11

Perhaps then you should be directing your anger at the government rather than the schools and teachers as IME most teachers would rather just concentrate on the basics and feel the primary curriculum is too overstuffed. The Government however has different ideas!

daftpunk · 03/06/2009 12:11

londonone...they can get off my back..that's what they can do...stop asking me to make bloody costumes....i don't make any demands on them..

PlumpRumpSoggyBaps · 03/06/2009 12:12

I have to say, londonone, I'm a bit confused by your statement that training days in England are taken out of holidays. My son's school calendar quite clearly states that, for example, term begins on 1st September (this was last year) but school is closed to students on that day as it is a training day. Several other training days are tacked onto the Monday following a halfterm break. It's my understanding that a half-term break lasts one week, not one week and a day.

Still, that aside, his school also has something called a 'moderation' day. What this is I have no idea, but since it's always on the Friday before a Bank Holiday Monday I do wonder what its purpose really is.......

I do have to agree with others about the cost of school trips though- ds recently wanted to go on an 8 day trip to France costing (iirc) somewhere in the region of £900!! I said yes, of course, provided he was happy to miss out on our family summer holiday...

TsarChasm · 03/06/2009 12:13

The government want them dressing up?

londonone · 03/06/2009 12:16

Tsarchasm - It's certainly the sort of thing OFSTED love!

harleyd · 03/06/2009 12:16

well thank god we dont do dressing up days here!

as for the costs of trips and stuff...recently i had to fork out 70 quid for the kids milk money and various day trips
now i dont mind paying for them, but at least give me more than 5 days notice please

londonone · 03/06/2009 12:20

plumprump - Schools have always had the same amonut of term days. In the 80s when INSET days were introduced they were taken out of the teachers holiday time so children still attended for the same number of days. As you are probably aware school holidays change from year to year with easter etc and therefore schools IME try and put INSET dsays at times that will be most convenient for parents i.e at the beginning and end of term rather than randomly on a wednesday in June!

EvenBetaDad · 03/06/2009 12:21

harleyd - thanks for backing me up on the maths thing. I thought it might be just me. Glad you said you went to talk to the school. I was holding back but I think I am going to have to do the same. You have given me courage. It is bonkers.

MummyDragon - its not that I (or I am sure you) are objecting to reading with our children. Its just that I really think we have done the bulk of it. Filling in the comment book every single day - after two kids I am sure I could recite the majority of the Oxford Reading Tree off by heart!

Don't even get me started on the 'propaganda' on environmental issues they get taught. The times I have had to sit down with DS1 and talk him through the underlying issues of recycling, climate change, energy use,to show him that it is not as simple as his teachers are telling him.

Just teach him to do two digit multiplication and leave the environmental issues to me please.

Interesting your DH is a teacher - does he agree with your view?

londonone · 03/06/2009 12:23

evenbetadad - most teachers don't want to be health counsellors, environmental campaigners, social welfare mentors but the government has loaded more and more of that on the backs of teachers as it seems terrified of pointing out how many utterly crap parents there are who simply don't parent at all.

TsarChasm · 03/06/2009 12:24

I do feel a bit that school is about having an 'experience'. Jeez it's not Disney.

You go to school, you learn stuff.

It has become top heavy with fun experiences which parents are expected to support and supply. A few maybe; that's ok. But every week they want more and more input from parents. Much of it has nothing to do with learning any of the basic stuff whatsoever.

If we dare to object we aren't showing enough interest.

londonone · 03/06/2009 12:28

tsarchasm - Again I would reiterate if you are not happy with the education your child is receiving you are free to home ed. The education cannot be all things to all people.

daftpunk · 03/06/2009 12:29

it can be londonone...if it just got back to basics..

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