very unhelpful things your other half can say whilst in labour

[benbon]

just wondering if anyone else's other halves have come out with very unhelpfull advice whilst you were in labour. aibu to think this was not very helpful?

after being in labour for about 6 hours at this point my husband told me "WELL YOU ARE DRAGGING IT OUT ABIT!"

so what helpful things did your partners say to you,.

'God I'm a bit peckish', followed by disappearing off to the vending machine.

This was while I was nil by mouth...

i have to admit that my dh has been great in my labours (he actually delivered our last child, although did mortify me by telling people afterwards that it was 'like playing American football in the rain')

But just had to LOL at the thought of your dh saying that to you ... did you clock him one?? I would have!

"let go my hand, you are hurting it"

Nothing my DH said could top what the MW said after I had been in labour for about 2 days: "Oh I have such a head ache, I think I need to go and take some tablets and lie down!" And she did!

lol these are all funny
i would of lamped him had i not of been mid contraction... i havnt let him forget it though...

When he was grumbling that the easy chair in the corner of the delivery room was too hard - can remember yelling at him "I'm sorry, are you in a little bit of discomfort?"

Oh the doctor who told me off for screaming too loudly was a good one too . Female doctor too. Clearly either not a mother, or had given birth under full anaesthesia. I was not impressed.

I know someone's DH (in the Army) who kept saying 'Just soldier on'!

ProvincialLady: my MW did something similar, she kept moaning about how tired she was after doing a night shift .... erm, I was the one who was up all night IN LABOUR!!!

DH said, "ooh, look, you can see the head, have a look!!" - how, exactly, am I supposed to do that when I'm strapped flat on my back with my legs in stirrups?

He also said, "they're cutting you, look, with scissors!!" - no sh*t dear, really, that's why I can feel snipping down there is it?!

oh yes not forgetting the face he felt the need to inform me it couldnt be more painful then a swift kick in the balls...

I'm bored (whilst waiting for me to be induced)

I wonder what's on the telly

I'm tired

Oh my DP was so much fun to have around during labour!

Should have put him to the test benbon

Erm... anything.

mine showed his splinter to all and expected them to feel sorry for him while I was in labour and fell asleep exhausted when the epidural eventually kicked in! He also said 'well first time you did it quicker and without painrelief!. and?

lol violethill!

... to continue from benbon's post, my DH refuses to have the snip because "it will hurt." 20 minutes' discomfort, with an anaesthetic, is surely more bearable than childbirth (more than once), no?

well i almost drowned him in the birthing pool so that made me feel slightly better.. men really are from mars... my friends usband felt the need to inform me she had pooed during labour why would he think that is news that should be shared...

I was in labour with DS & whilst going through my bag realised I hadn't packed any knickers, the hospital is literally 5 minutes away from an Asda so asked him to pop down & get me some (I was only 4cms dilated at the time) thinking he'd be back in 10/15 mintues. He got back an HOUR & A HALF later when I asked him where he'd been he said he stopped in the Asda cafe for scampi & chips

His reasoning was "Well I figured you weren't going anywhere"

Cheeky sod - I refuse to let him live it down lol

"I wish you'd phoned me earlier. I could have got the last flight back then!".

DD was prem. Started at 9pm at night. DH was in London on business.

My response - "It wasn't feckin' happening EARLIER, it's happening NOW you ponce. What am I, telepathic?"

He managed to catch the last train from Euston. The train that stops at every single station on the way back north. In frustration, he jumped out at one station screaming "Nuneaton! F*&king Nuneaton! Nobody gets off at Nuneaton!".

The train guard - a West Indian lady with a heart of gold - dragged him back on and let him smoke out the window to calm him down. She then sat with him for most of the journey, whilst he stayed in touch with the hospital.

Awwww doodle bless the train guard that's so sweet!

PMSL @ your DH screaming that!!

f-ing nuneaton.

DH's gem was shrieking 'that can't come out of there. it's too big' as DD crowned.

My Dad, after it was all over, said 'Encore!' He got a look.

Re the MW going for a lie-down etc, I agree she should think about what the woman in labour is actually going through, but would rather she was awake and not headachey so mistakes less likely to happen, bearing in mind lives in her hands and all that!

After a long labour at home i had gone in the shower. The midwifes were making my bed and dh said "why are you making the bed she wont be going beack to bed she's been in it all day"

Thankfully my midwifes just ignored him and ive never let him forget it!

When I was having our first baby ( 17 hour induced labour with firceps and ventuose followed by crash c sect) dh had a headache -poor man and the midwife suggested a sniff of gas and air which he took just as I bloody needed it.

He also asked me if I'd ironed his chinos (it was 1993) before I'd come to hospital.

It would be good if it was all over before the kick off. (DS1 was born on an important rugby international Saturday )