to expect that my dc should be able to play outdoors without being subjected to porn?

[cariboo]

Dc & other neighbors riding bikes & scooters Sunday afternoon. I looked out to see that an older boy (12) was shoving a book in my dd's face (she's 8), forcing her & others to look. Dd covered ds' & neighbor girl's eyes with her hands (they're both 5), saying 'don't look, don't look'. I rush out, grab the book & see that it's an erotic comic book with drawings of naked men & women on the cover. Two other boys of around the same age are standing nearby, laughing. I shout at the boys, calling them dirty little perverts, where did you get this, how could you show such a thing to little kids, you should be ashamed of yourself, etc. Marched up to one boy's home, ready to blast the parents into orbit. No answer. So I call the police, who refer me to the child protection agency (closed on Sunday, of course). Meanwhile, dh is having more success locating parents who get a stern warning to keep their kid away from our dcs.

Should I contact the child protection agency or am I over-reacting? Other parents with little ones involved have now forbidden their dcs to leave their own gardens but it seems such a shame to keep them practically chained to the house.

We live in a hamlet, btw so no access to local park or playground without taking the car.

That's really unpleasant, your poor kids. I have no advice to offer, just a sympathetic ear.

If it's any consolation I doubt that your dcs will be tainted by this isolated incident.

I would have been to see the parents by now,this was Sunday? That seems like more of a first stop than anywhere else. They need to know what their son was doing and find out how he got hold of the book.

Er well i have to be honest i think you are being a teeny little bit over the top . I remember as a little girl finding a porn mag in the lane where we used to live and it took pride of place in the 'den' for many days until the rain ruined it !!!! Cant honestly say i was at all traumatised from seeing ladies front bottems or breasts , just a normal level of curiosity. Went home and told my mother all about it and she chose that as the right time to talk about the facts of life . I think ringing child protection /police is excessive . Young adolescent males do love to shock , i imagine a bit of a bollocking about it not being appropraite would suffice .

I think you're being OTT too, just children being children. Their parents need to be told so they can make sure it doesn't happen again. It wasn't nice for your children, true, and the other children were being pesky, but child protection agency????!!!!

Perhaps you are over-reacting just a teensy bit? Obviously you don't want your DCs seeing this stuff, but the 12 yr old where just being normal 12 yr olds, it was only erotic comics so presumably not hard-core porn?

Talk tot he parents, by all means, but there's no need for the child-protection agency is there?

I think you're being ott too. It was inappropriate of course but kids love to shock.

and I think you where wrong to call the children dirty little perverts for just showing natural curiosity.

Yes, the 'dirty little perverts' thing was a really horrid thing to say .

Blimey - my nephew is nearly 12 and I'd be seriously concerned if he had access to ANY sort of erotic drawings/pornography in that context. I'd definately be banging on the parents door again - how did they react when your hubby spoke to them ?

over reaction.

and calling the dirty little perverts..what's that teaching your kids?

i'd have taken the comic off the kids with minimal fuss. and taken it to the parents.

You called them dirty little perverts? You called the police? You have forbidden your children to leave their garden?

Because a silly little boy found a "rude" book and showed it to the others?

Do you think you might be over reacting just a little?

erotic comic book ?

so it's drawings of breasts etc?

over-reacting imo unless you are Amish

I'm not sure I concur with the general consensus here.

If the boy had been sharing it with them and they were interested that would be one thing.

The "forcing them to look" thing sounds really unpleasant - forcing anyone to do anything they don't want to do is horrible.

If the little ones were distressed (and it sounds like they may well have been) and he was doing this depite that, then that is really really horrible.

dirty little perverts?

That's an excellent way to promote a healthy attitude to sex

A leetle bit OTT I think.

'ready to blast the parents into orbit'?

blimey. i might have popped round and said 'were you aware that x has got hold of comic porn and is showing it to the littlies? could you have a word with him about it not being appropriate, thanks.'

child protection? police?

'a stern warning to keep their kid away from my dcs'

i wouldn't have been happy, but i'd probably have asked them if they thought it was appropriate rather than yelling at them that they are obscene little perverts lol. (for a naked cartoon picture? no sex on the cover, right?)

most early teens boys will be checking out porn lol, they need a bit of guidance, not banning from the community. have you got sons?

I think there's a big difference between an 8yo and a 12yo and it could have been quite threatening for the younger kids to have it 'shoved' in their faces. It's not the way I would choose for my children to discover the world of sexuality. I would be bloody upset and would definitely have had words with the boy's parents.

but you shouldn't have called them dirty little perverts - I'm sure you know you shouldn't have said that. But you were shocked and upset.

I think calling the police was going too far and I wouldn't call the CPA.

actually, is this thread a joke?

Yes, it is horrible, Bella, no one's saying it isn't. What they're saying is that calling the children 'dirty little perverts' and calling police/child protection is a huge overreaction.

All that was required was to take the comic off the children, tell them it is completely inappropriate for them to even have the comic, let alone showing it to younger children and forcing them to look is really awful. Then to wait until parents get in and give them the comic, tell them what happened and then leave it at that.

It sounds as though your dd was upset by it Cariboo. If it was harmless she wouldn't have been trying to protect the younger children. I would have been absolutely bloody livid with the older child. And I would have had a very serious conversation with the older boys parents. And I would keep my dc away from him, too. I wouldn't involve the police though.

It is horrible but you are putting an adult spin on something which, to your kids, was a just bit 'rude.'

What's the title of the 'book"?

It was very wrong to force others to look at it I agree.

I don't think calling them "dirty little perverts" was very appropriate. They are 12. A curiosity about bodies is natural, and at that age they are being silly, not perverted.

X-post with everyone!

Teach me to wander off half way through a sentence .

Blimey I don't think many 12 year olds would have turned down the chance to have a look at nudey pictures, whether they are illustrations or real photos. It certainly doesn't make him a dirty little pervert.

You are overreacting IMO - children will see pictures of tits and ass by the time they leave school and with all the will in the world you can't stop them looking, however hard you try. And to do so is also counter-productive as treating nudity as perverse and illicit may give your children a warped perception of the human body.