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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect that my dc should be able to play outdoors without being subjected to porn?

213 replies

cariboo · 22/04/2009 12:24

Dc & other neighbors riding bikes & scooters Sunday afternoon. I looked out to see that an older boy (12) was shoving a book in my dd's face (she's 8), forcing her & others to look. Dd covered ds' & neighbor girl's eyes with her hands (they're both 5), saying 'don't look, don't look'. I rush out, grab the book & see that it's an erotic comic book with drawings of naked men & women on the cover. Two other boys of around the same age are standing nearby, laughing. I shout at the boys, calling them dirty little perverts, where did you get this, how could you show such a thing to little kids, you should be ashamed of yourself, etc. Marched up to one boy's home, ready to blast the parents into orbit. No answer. So I call the police, who refer me to the child protection agency (closed on Sunday, of course). Meanwhile, dh is having more success locating parents who get a stern warning to keep their kid away from our dcs.

Should I contact the child protection agency or am I over-reacting? Other parents with little ones involved have now forbidden their dcs to leave their own gardens but it seems such a shame to keep them practically chained to the house.

We live in a hamlet, btw so no access to local park or playground without taking the car.

OP posts:
dittany · 22/04/2009 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

atigercametotea · 22/04/2009 19:18

I agree with Katiestar wholeheartedly.
Your story now is vastly different from what you originally posted....probably because you didn't like the response.

Should be ok now though as everyone thinks you were doing a great job protecting your daughterand at the same time villifying a small 12 year old boy with a troubled background (your info).

I still don't understand why you wrote in your original post that you marched up to them and called them names etc when you never did - was it to sensationalise the aibu?

I still think you are...

spicemonster · 22/04/2009 19:45

Okay, let me explain. I don't think what this boy did is acceptable. But neither do I think it means he is liable to become a rapist. Yes, it is definitely worth explaining to him in no uncertain terms that this is Not Okay. Yes, you need his parents to emphasise this. But it needs to be done kindly and patiently because otherwise I think you really might have a problem on your hands.

The reason I pointed out the other stuff about his background is that I think that children that act out like this probably have issues with socialisation and that they need help. I don't think screaming 'you fucking pervert' constitutes help.

I don't think demonising children is very helpful - either to them or to society as a whole.

cariboo · 22/04/2009 19:59

No, not at all. I wasn't unhappy with my OP. I did say at one point that I was delighted with all the response I was getting. To post on AIBU is to invite open warfare. I invited you to argue/rant/whatever with me because my feelings about this whole issue are so confused, contradictory... argh, there's an exact word for this & I can't remember it... anyway, if you read through what I've written (if you have the patience & can be arsed!) it's clear that I've been in several different moods, frame of mind, whatever. Now I'm tired & less able to argue.

I was thinking about why I posted on AIBU. I realise I wanted a 'good' argument - a chance to debate something I feel very strongly about but am not able to look at objectively. The implications of what went on, nor what my reaction (action or non-action) should have been, are so confusing. Now I'm repeating myself. zzzzzzz!

OP posts:
cariboo · 22/04/2009 20:01

the word I was looking for is 'ambivalent'.

OP posts:
VinegarTitsThePorker · 22/04/2009 20:05

you nutter

i'm jesting!

cariboo · 22/04/2009 20:05

i didn't didn't didn't scream pervert anywhere but in my head

OP posts:
cariboo · 22/04/2009 20:07

thanks!

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 22/04/2009 20:08

Oh, Cariboo, since you are back, could you possibly have a quick look at this thread for me and help me with the translation? Apologies for the blatant hijack, will pay in prosecco.

cariboo · 22/04/2009 20:09

what I mean is, I don't know whether to cuddle that boy or strangle him! I want to be his mummy.

OP posts:
VinegarTitsThePorker · 22/04/2009 20:10

steady now

JosieMiller · 23/04/2009 19:02

I agree with dittany

and think tis a bi harsh to call the OP a "fraud" fgs

cariboo · 24/04/2009 08:49

Josie -thanks!

OP posts:
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