to expect that my dc should be able to play outdoors without being subjected to porn?

[cariboo]

Dc & other neighbors riding bikes & scooters Sunday afternoon. I looked out to see that an older boy (12) was shoving a book in my dd's face (she's 8), forcing her & others to look. Dd covered ds' & neighbor girl's eyes with her hands (they're both 5), saying 'don't look, don't look'. I rush out, grab the book & see that it's an erotic comic book with drawings of naked men & women on the cover. Two other boys of around the same age are standing nearby, laughing. I shout at the boys, calling them dirty little perverts, where did you get this, how could you show such a thing to little kids, you should be ashamed of yourself, etc. Marched up to one boy's home, ready to blast the parents into orbit. No answer. So I call the police, who refer me to the child protection agency (closed on Sunday, of course). Meanwhile, dh is having more success locating parents who get a stern warning to keep their kid away from our dcs.

Should I contact the child protection agency or am I over-reacting? Other parents with little ones involved have now forbidden their dcs to leave their own gardens but it seems such a shame to keep them practically chained to the house.

We live in a hamlet, btw so no access to local park or playground without taking the car.

I would be very concerned if a 12 year old boy made my 5 year old dd look at an erotic comic. It's the coercion in all of this that troubles me. Smaller children being forced to do something to make bigger children laugh.
I'm with Josie on this - it reads to me like the little girls were upset and humiliated by this older boy. Far cry from a jolly giggle for all concerned
I would not have reacted as the OP did, true, but I can see why she is very upset about this.

Nancy 66 - entirely 'normal' ? I disagree. I think 'entirely normal' includes finding dads porn stash under the bed and having a giggle over it with your mate in the privacy of your bedroom/back row of the bus. Whilst I think that the tone of the OP suggests a more extreme reaction than the situation warrants, I'd hate to think that every 12 year old lad around here felt it was 'normal' to behave like these lads did.

'dirty little perverts' to 12 year olds

fgs.

My 12 year old dss would have found it funny (no matter how hardcore as tbh he wouldn't really be able to judge how' hardcore' it was. He would think it was rude and therefore funny.)

He is not really a windup merchant but his bf is and I can totally imagine hin finding it really amusing that the young kids were reacting to it.

But to call them perverts. What is wrong with you. They are children.

With the attitude you have your DCs are likely to grow up with a messed up view on sex.

what minty said.

I think it's interesting that so many are assuming that children's exposure to porn now will mirror their own childhood experiences of finding a crumpled mayfair in the woods.

I think we should all educate ourselves about what is really the norm in mainstream porn these days. It's very, very different.

There was a similar thread about children and porn here

It mainly relates to internet porn, and in this case obv it was a book. But I agree that it's most likely to have been a pornographic hentai comic, which very frequently feature the rape/sexual assault of characters who, apart from their very small breasts, look like Disney representations of 8 year old girls.

Good point, Hedgewitch, it may well have been.

It's fine to be upset

Tis not fine to yell at boy and call him a pervert

He's 12 FFS - do some people on here only have young children and think boys magically grow up by 12 ?

12 year old boys are do spectacularly silly things.

We demonise boys too much

Hedgewitch, um, no....

Viz is not porn!

We need the op to come back with full details, links, and a preci of events with timeline...

Can you describe how this 12 yr old 'forced ' your DC to look at it ? Did he pin her down,tie her up ,what ?corner her
I think you are using some very emotive language to describe him showing her a nudey picture.
Would just like to point out my DS was handed out some explicit diagrams in a booklet from school sex ed in yr 7.Are you sure it wasn't something like this ?

Well exactly.

Whatever the original events, the OPs reaction to it is going to imprint it on the children's brains like a branding iron.

And no child should ever be called a pervert .

Oh come on they're 12 years old looking at porn and showing it to little children. They're hardly going to be damaged for life by being called 'dirty little perverts' by the OP.

Apologies... Viz is not an "erotic comic book" either.

Dirty little perverts? They're 12 for goodness sake. Certainly not the correct way to speak to children, op.

I would have been miffed, but I doubt it's anything that will scar them for life. It's normal for children to be curious. Ok, they shouldn't have done what they did, but they are only12, they're just messing around.

And you rang the police? Are you serious?

You should have just conviscated the comic book, and when you did finally catch up with the parents, explain in an adult fashion what happened and that you'd appreciate it if they could persuade their children to not do it again.

Way OTT, sorry. Not only that, but you've probably given the older boys a flippin complex about this kind of stuff now.

Why is everyone focussing on any potential damage done to the boy by being called a pervert? Admittedly, it's not a great thing to say to a 12 year old but the possible damage to the other kids involved by being forcibly shown the comic is much worse, surely?

Apologies Nancy - I have no idea why I used your name. I meant bigbella!

Anyway, why was it 'most likely' hentai or manga or bukkake? It's not like those sorts of magazines are easy to get hold of is it? And I feel fairly sure that if it had been something like that, the OP would have told us considering she grabbed the magazine. (where is the OP incidentally?!)

This is exactly the sort of thing 12 year old boys do. Smaller boys do it with plastic spiders. Boys like to make girls scream.

Actually eve, I'm focusing on the damage to the little girls by the OPs reaction (incl calling the boys perverts). Such an OTT reaction is only going to make the situation worse - a situation that really didn't warrant such a fuss and should have been dealt with in a low key fashion.

I'd talk to my girls about it too - it may be a good time to talk a little about what is appropriate behaviour from boys/men.

Maybe try to ensure they understand that they do not have to tolerate behaviour that makes them feel uncomfortable - including showing rude pictures.

And that they should tell you immediately if something like that happens again.

BTW this seem like entirely stupid but normal behaviour from adolescent boys - certainly was when I was growing up anyway.

Well it's not likely to be bukkake spicemonster (did anyone say it was?), but the most readily available porn comics are hentai, I htink.

There's not actually a huge amount of other pornographic comic-books available, I don't think, apart from BDSM stuff and I expect the OP would have mentioned if it were that.

I agree 'dirty perverts' v regrettable.

Cariboo - YANBU.

I would be horrified and upset. I do not want my childrens first knowledge of sex to be pornography of any kinds, and I sympathise with you.

When we fostered, we once looked after a child of 11 who had been taken away from his parent because of being allowed access to porn - it is actually a serious issue.

I would pursue it with the childs parent (unless it will get you beaten up) and child protection agency if I were you. (I am not implying that the 12 yr old in question will be taken off his parent btw...)

The OP used the word erotic, not pornographic. Judging by her reaction, I think that if she thought it was porn, she would have told us.

But who knows OBM? She's gorrrn

I don't even think screaming at a 12 year old that he is a pervert is THAT bad actually

12 year olds are quite BIG you know and if I was a fuming rage that he had showed a little girl porn I would probably shout something similar

Of course in a perfect world you would sit him down and explain about respecting women but personally I'd want to beat him about the head screaming obscenities

spicemonster it was onbat who said it was most likely hentai etc. not me!

I have been trying to point out that the assumption of many posters that it's just some nudey pics may be wrong, and that until we know what they were shown we can't really say for sure how OTT OPs reaction was.

was probably an artist's guide to life drawing....