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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that many people in society have lost compassion and become selfish.

203 replies

Confuzzeled · 01/04/2009 17:15

MN seems quite harsh today so maybe posting this ain't such a good idea, but hey-ho, I want honest opinions.

I am 20 weeks pregnant and have 2yo dd, I look more pregnant that I am, I think I'm having a toddler rather than a baby. My car is in the garage, not that that makes a huge amount of difference as I use the bus allot anyway.

I was on the train on Sunday, I had a booked seat but there was some problem with bookings and no seats were showing as booked. The train was busy, I couldn't find a seat in either section near the door where my buggy was parked. I asked the conductor and he grumbled something about using my eyes to look. I didn't want to go too far from my buggy and there was no room to fold it in the luggage. A whole train load of people saw me stand there for 90 mins and nobody offered me a seat.

Today I got the bus home from town and while I was trying to hold onto my dd and get the buggy out the luggage rack, people were pushing past me to get off the bus. It was clear I was trying to get off and even people with kids pushed me out the way. My buggy wheel was stuck and in the end the driver got out his seat and helped me while all the people on the bus looked at me like I was holding up the bus on purpose.

Yesterday I saw a young couple ram their buggy into an old man on the bus because he didn't move when they wanted to put their buggy in the disabled section. He obviously didn't know they wanted to put their buggy there.

Last week I held the door open in Pret for a woman coming in behind me, a stream of people came through the door and I looked like a pregnant door lady with a buggy.

At lunch today 2 suited guys asked to move table because they didn't know they were in the children's section. It was Pizza Express and my dd was asleep.

I see young guys park in P&T. I see people in sports cars clearly able bodied park in disabled spots. People tut at you when you walk too slow on the pavement (2yo don't walk fast).

I always offer my seat to pregnant or elderly people, there's even a sign saying you should do so. I never park in disabled and only park in P&T if I don't have my buggy. I am patient with other peoples kids and I'm a polite person who considers other people.

Am I a fucking doormat?

OP posts:
QuintessentiallyAnEmptyGrave · 01/04/2009 18:19

Londonone, she said there was no room in the luggage for it folded. What did you suggest she do with it when she had folded it. Balance it on her head?

bigbang · 01/04/2009 18:20

Yab a little u. I don't think everyone is selfish and lacking in compassion, they just don't think. Some people are of course, but I'm sure most genuinely don't notice they are inconveniencing someone.

Your not a doormat for being considerate but you are for not saying anything! I find lots of people are lost in their own thoughts/books etc and won't register you standing with a bump and a toddler even if they 'see' you. However a polite friendly voice asking for a seat because of xyz is hard to ignore. If no one lets you then you can get cross about it!

I also ask people with no child if they have forgotten their baby when parked in a p&c space, if they don't move then I report them. I would also report people parked in a disabled bay with no badge.If people tutted at my ds walking slowly I would turn around with a smile and say sorry for being slow but he is still learning. I bet they don't realise that they sound like a right knob.

However, my poor friend ended up on a tube full of the most selfish people, so I don't think yab totally u. She was obviously pregnant and standing up, the tube got stuck in a tunnel for 45 mins. After a while she started to feel sick, and asked if someone could stand for 5 mins as she was pregnant and felt very ill, and no one offered her a seat She ended up vomiting all over them. Serves them right.

screamingabdab · 01/04/2009 18:20

ok

Confuzzled YANBU

QuintessentiallyAnEmptyGrave · 01/04/2009 18:20

Or maybe leave it on the floor for somebody to stumble in?

Or hold onto folded buggy in one hand, toddler in her other hand, and hold on so she didnt fall over in the moving train with her third hand.... hang on, wait, op does not have three hands.

londonone · 01/04/2009 18:21

She could have put the toddler in it! Perhaps I was unclear, it is the unfolded unused buggy I object to!

screamingabdab · 01/04/2009 18:24

bigbang I agree., saying something makes you feel better

Brilliant revenge-puke story !

spongebrainmaternitypants · 01/04/2009 18:27

londonone, dare I ask why you think p&c spaces are 'ridiculous'?

And OP YANBU - people's manners suck these days and it makes me v .

psychomum5 · 01/04/2009 18:27

londonone

Going on your comments, I think that you are ones of the selfish, compassionless twats the OP is complaining of!

QuintessentiallyAnEmptyGrave · 01/04/2009 18:27

Londonone Why? What difference does it make?

Who are you to tell her where to put her toddler? Maybe her toddler was fed up sitting and screaming blue murder if not allowed to stand?

  • you are clearly not a parent yet.If you were, you would not see it so black and white.

A buggy is normally small and foldable. Prams are large and bulky.

screamingabdab · 01/04/2009 18:28

serenity all gone now

Quick, someone tell us a nice story!

spongebrainmaternitypants · 01/04/2009 18:29

x-posted!

Ah, clearly not a parent, so won't understand the need for p&c spaces!

I didn't before I had some arse park so close to me in a supermarket car park that I had to climb across the back seat to place my DS in his car seat .

elvislives · 01/04/2009 18:31

londonone doesn't have any children. Once you do, you will realise why p&t spaces exist the day some knob parks up so close to you that you can't put your baby in its seat back in the car.

As for the train, DH was on the way home from nights the other week and sat down opposite someone else only to hear muttering from behind. Some woman with children was having a go (to herself) because he'd taken the seat she'd got her eye on. She was behind him so he'd no idea. Her muttering made him so mad he ignored her, and said to me afterwards that if she'd said nicely to him that she needed to sit at a table with her children and would he mind moving he would have done.

(Having said that he is a mutterer himself )

spongebrainmaternitypants · 01/04/2009 18:31

screaming, my dh was away last night so my next door neighbour's teenage son came round and put my bins and recycling out (I am pg) and this morning, without asking, came round and put the bin away again!

londonone · 01/04/2009 18:31

sponge - various different reasons which I don't really want to get into on this thread! It was more an illustration of different perspectives on things! I would never ever park in a disabled space though I do think the number of disabled spaces is disproportionate sometimes. I just feel very different about P&C spaces.

spongebrainmaternitypants · 01/04/2009 18:35

Lol at "various different reasons that I don't want to go into"! No valid reasons then, you don't have kids, have never experienced what I mentioned above, and know we'd shoot you down in flames if you explained your 'reasons'!

Most people seem to think we want them cos they're closer to the shop - no, we need them with small children cos we need to open the doors wide. If there's none available I now park in the middle of two normal spaces!

screamingabdab · 01/04/2009 18:36

spongebrain Thanks!
my favourite good news stories are about teenage boys - boys get such a bad press

londonone You are a bit obsessed about one small element of the story, and that is why it is you who is lacking in perspective

FioFio · 01/04/2009 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

londonone · 01/04/2009 18:37

Quint - Because if I have paid for my ticket I do not want to be extra squashed because someone doesn't want to put their child in a pushchair. Pushchairs used to be small and foldable, now they are bloody huge.

Re parent and child spaces. How on earth did anyone cope before they existed? Having to climb across back seat is not exactly torture. P&C spaces are a convenience rather than a necessity. That is why they should NEVER be equated with disable spaces.

QuintessentiallyAnEmptyGrave · 01/04/2009 18:39

Londonone, Why does it matter if said buggy was occupied by a child or not? Does it take less space if there is a child in it?

londonone · 01/04/2009 18:39

screamingabdab - I actually picked up on several things in my response it was others who pursued the point about the buggy.

londonone · 01/04/2009 18:40

Quint - Because then one space is being taken up rather than two.

QuintessentiallyAnEmptyGrave · 01/04/2009 18:41

Londonone, do you usually try pick people apart when they post for a bit of sympathy?

QuintessentiallyAnEmptyGrave · 01/04/2009 18:41

So what you really is cross about is that there is a small child on the train.

chequersmate · 01/04/2009 18:42

OP, I was going to ask if you live in London, then I read the rest of the thread and LOL at the name of the poster on this thread who so objects to your buggy.

YANBU.

ilovemydogandMrObama · 01/04/2009 18:42

I've actually found London people the most polite.

On a crowded tube, people have offered me their seat; on a train, the conductor put me in first class as it was full.

but on a bus in Bristol, had a hormonal moment and told this man to, 'please get off his ass...'