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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be jealous that my best friend has just had a.........

190 replies

becky00 · 15/02/2009 19:52

baby girl?

I have 2 lovely DS and would love a DD. I find it so hard as I keep being asked if I would like a girl etc as I am very girly, like it was something you can just buy in a shop!

I know its stupid but when I found out BF had a girl today I felt jealous.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 15/02/2009 19:55

awwwww not at all.
I also know someone who had a baby girl today! lol and I am strangely envious (although I am actually pregnant myself)

SheikYerbouti · 15/02/2009 19:57

I am INSANELY jealous of anyone who has a baby, esp a girl

I really, really want another but DP won't agree to it

BouncingTurtle · 15/02/2009 20:01

Same here... one of my collegues and 2 of DH's all had girls... I was dead jealous. Hoping for a girl when we try for dc2, though if it was a boy I would send it back be very, very happy as my ds is a terror lovely boy

Flightattendant27 · 15/02/2009 20:04

Oh dear

yanbu, my best best darling friend has got two beautiful girls, and I have two boys...I don't envy the girls as such, but when she has her first boy I will feel truly trumped.

That said I know it's just my own low self esteem and my problem entirely!! I feel bad that any of my friends have more than two children. I'm afraid of being left behind.

Original poster

becky00 · 15/02/2009 20:07

The other issue is that as our DC grow older I worry our friendships will change as our DC will be into different things etc.......

I want to do the whole mother of the bride thing as well!

OP posts:

6inchnipples · 15/02/2009 20:10

yanbu but i would tell her how u feel.

i had a son first having always wanted a daughter (wouldn'tchange him now of course) and when my friend had a girl i told her i was so jealous that she had a daughter and she was so lucky. She just hugged me and said i'd get one next time.. and i did, twice infact!

Original poster

becky00 · 15/02/2009 20:12

Do you think all women secretly want a girl?

OP posts:

Maveta · 15/02/2009 20:17

I don´t secretly want a girl.. i have a lovely ds.. thought he´d be a boy and was thrilled to find out he was. I always imagined myself with boys and would be really surprised if I had one. Though of course it would be lovely I wouldn´t be upset that I was missing something if I never had one. Boys are fab!

chickenfortea · 15/02/2009 20:20

Ohh I had serious gender disappointement when I was told that DS2 was a boy. It took two years of heartache before DH could be convinced to have a third child.
I feel extremely blessed to have a girl.
This does not mean that I love my boys any less, I just feel complete now I have my pink one.
Maybe its because I come from 5 girls and enjoy close ties to all of them and my Mum.
My sister found out the sex of her first baby yesterday, everyone was convinced she was "built for girls" and yep -its a boy.
I think that as its a first she is ok with that and is excited, however if she has a second I would not be surprised if it has repercussions.
GD is a contentious subject, I am a member of another website where they discuss it quite openly and it can have mixed reactions.
I guess its a bit like pnd where unless you have experienced it you generally can't understand the effect it can have.
Hope I don't offend anyone

thisisyesterday · 15/02/2009 20:20

i don't secretly want a girl either
i have 2 boys and am over the moon with them both, wanted a boy each time as well.

now pg with third and am honestly ambivalent on sex, really don't mind either.

didn't make that clear in my first post... am envious of her having a baby full stop, despite being pg myself lol. not the fact that she had a girl

Original poster

becky00 · 15/02/2009 20:20

They are FAB Maveta and I love my DS to bits!
Sometimes I think I want a girl because it would be good for him etc...

OP posts:

Original poster

becky00 · 15/02/2009 20:23

chichenfortea - after 2 DS did you do anything any differently to produce a girl? I have read all the myths, calcium, timing, cranberry etc.....

OP posts:

MrsMattie · 15/02/2009 20:24

YANBU.

I have a 4 yr old DS and 3 mth old DD. When I was expecting DD (didn't know what she was then) I genuinely didn't mind what I was having, although I thought it would be nice to have a girl. However, once she was born, I realised how delighted I was that she was a girl and how devestated I would have been to never have had a daughter .

I would love another child, but DH says absolutely no way . If DD had been a boy it would have been a lot harder for me to come to terms with DH's position, to be honest.

I have a very close friend with 2 boys who isn't going to be having any more, an d another good friend with 3 girls who wont be having anymore,. and both of them are having difficulties coming to terms with never knowing what their son/daughter would be like. I think it's natural.

LoveMyLapTop · 15/02/2009 20:25

I know how you feel
I love my two DS's to bits
But would have loved a little girl
Didn't dare try for a 3rd as i would have been disappointed if I had had another boy.

Ronaldinhio · 15/02/2009 20:26

yanbu

but my darling brother has a ds and I have two dd.
I was very jealous and desperate for a ds.
I'm a changed lady having spent Christmas with him
Very nice but very different from two DDs

Original poster

becky00 · 15/02/2009 20:28

They are all different Ronaldinhio, I find that quite hard as well sometimes, the whole blue, physical, harder work images.....

OP posts:

Jenice · 15/02/2009 20:33

I also secretly hoped for a girl for the simple reason that you can get much nicer clothes for them (how shallow am I??). We got a wee boy though and I'm not in the least bit disappointed.

From my experience coming from a large family... Boys defo love their mummies more when they are younger and are much less hormonal and moody as teenagers. I gave my parents a nightmare right through my teens even though I was nowhere near as bad as a lot of girls I knew.

chickenfortea · 15/02/2009 20:35

becky00. I am not sure if you can post links to other baby websites here (am a bit new).
If you google baby centre pink or blue, that should help. or in-gender.
We did lots to sway and were very lucky. I will never know if the cut off and the regular ahem exercise that dh did before sex helped, but I decided that at least I had tried.
The differences in the sexes is amazing, both brought up the same but totally different. My boys moan if we go shopping but Lara cries when we come home "more shopping mummy now!"

sally78 · 15/02/2009 20:38

ahem exercise????

sally78 · 15/02/2009 20:38

ahem exercise????

Original poster

becky00 · 15/02/2009 20:43

Sounds interesting Chicken. I would like to know about the ahem exercise too!

OP posts:

Ashantai · 15/02/2009 20:43

Well i had my daughters very close together cos we thought we would just have the 2, but then we got broody for one more and my son came along.

I can truly say that i didnt care at all what i had and didnt find out the sex of any of my babies (much to some peoples annoyance) .

I would hate to really want a boy or girl and be devestated that i didnt get what i wanted. I have a friend who has 3 boys and darent try again in case she has another boy and she is just dying for a chance to be pink and girly.

cupofteaplease · 15/02/2009 21:57

When preg with baby number 2, we had a sexing scan and the sonographer had to write on paper what the sex was so I could open it in private- I was so convinced that if it said BOY I would cry. I know that sounds awful, but I didn't want a boy. I have nephews, and I know I would love a boy just as my sisters love their children, but I just felt this 'need' for another girl.

I got my second girl and I know I will feel exactly the same when we try for a third baby (if dh ever agrees on a convenient time!)

So, YANBU, but I know some people will find my opinion to be incredibly selfish- we should all be happy for what we have. All children are a blessing.

I am a jealous person anyway, and I feel extrememly envious of friends that have 3 children because I feel my family isn't complete yet. But I also feel jealous of friends with lovely houses, nice cars, flash holidays etc... I'm such an ungrateful cow

Carbonel · 15/02/2009 22:33

I desperately wanted a boy first time round (I thought life would be easier for a boy) and had dd; I wouldn't change her for the world, despite her being a drama queen

I feel privileged to have ds now also; they are so different but I love them both dearly and I espceialaly relish them playing so well togethr.

however, dd dresses and looks like a boy at the moment (modelled on George in Famous Five) so probably a good job I am not worried about pretty dresses etc!

dietstartstomorrow · 15/02/2009 22:42

YANBU

I have 2 DS's also, that I adore.

However I would love to have a girl, but DH won't agree to a 3rd.

Can't beleive im never going to have a daughter

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