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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be jealous that my best friend has just had a.........

190 replies

becky00 · 15/02/2009 19:52

baby girl?

I have 2 lovely DS and would love a DD. I find it so hard as I keep being asked if I would like a girl etc as I am very girly, like it was something you can just buy in a shop!

I know its stupid but when I found out BF had a girl today I felt jealous.

OP posts:
RiaParkinson · 16/02/2009 23:00

imagine having 5 Squirdle

the grimaces when i tell people they are boys is sooo far from my own image of my life

PeachyHasABrokenKeyboardSorry · 16/02/2009 23:00

squirdle peoplealwayssay stupid things

'is this one ok' (meaning hasds4 got autism likeds1 and ds3)

'were you sad its not a girl' pardon? can you pre-order,i missed that!

ignore them

PeachyHasABrokenKeyboardSorry · 16/02/2009 23:02

oh they are cool boys squirdle

and great pics ria

ds1 nbowwears a cap at all times (well most) and a leather jacket so looks more like Gok Wan (think thatsthe idea) than my curly haired littlie but ds4 has a curl growing so might beanother lol....

Squirdle · 16/02/2009 23:03

Yes I know, the amount of people who said about DS3 'Ooh I bet you'd like a girl this time' 'Oh what a shame he wasn't a girl'

He's perfect..a little monkey, but perfect

OlaMamas · 16/02/2009 23:05

Thanks Tiggy! I do try but I am so rubbish! Think I've always been one of those who prefer the quiet area on the playground! Either that or snogging behind the coatpegs! Ridiculous as I'd still prefer that even when I have to go out on playground duty now!!! Just wish we had more male staff!!! LOL. That testoterone has a lot to answer for and I really wouldn't swop them for anything! And as I said earlier like squirdle I'd never try for a particular sex it would have to be because I wanted another baby... come what may!

RiaParkinson · 16/02/2009 23:07

thanks peachy!

Squirdle your ds's are beautiful - proper blonde!

You are a BABY!

Squirdle · 16/02/2009 23:12

Who me, a baby?

Squirdle · 16/02/2009 23:13

Hey, you can add a year on to that. How come it updates the children ages, but not mine Not saying I don't like it

Squirdle · 16/02/2009 23:14

Actually, you can add nearly 2 years onto that!!

chipmonkey · 16/02/2009 23:47

Oh, Peachy, has Bas got a curl! Fab! You'll have a perfect matching set!
I had a man quote me that "Son is a son till he gets him a wife" thing in our local shop and I really could have punched him!
Also I stopped going to a particular barber because the woman behind the desk kept going on about "trying for a girl" in front of my boys! They may be boys but they are neither deaf nor insensitive!

ellabella4ever · 17/02/2009 04:54

When you read some of the vile AIBU threads that MNetters start about their MILs you can understand where the awful "a son's a son til he finds a wife" saying comes from . Of course, it doesn't have to be that way and I hope you lucky mothers of boys keep your sons close for always - just keep grabbing cuddles off them no matter how big they get!

I have one DD and don't want any other children. Those of you who say little girls are less loving than little boys couldn't be more wrong!

And it's not a crime for a little girl to be feminine, like pink and fairies and ballet! She's great fun and energetic and gutsy - she just can't resist lipgloss

mrsgboring · 17/02/2009 08:27

Squirdle, so sorry to hear about DS1. I have a similar experience except my first child was a stillborn DD and I have gone on to have a DS, so I do sometimes get pangs of girl envy. I think that it's only because I think "that's what I should have had" not because of gender stereotyping whatnot. I hear so much girl lauding and boy bashing - plenty of it on this thread - and I totally don't subscribe to any of it. Particularly the Son is a son till he finds a wife claptrap. Parental relationships are what you make of them - FWIW we are both closer to DH's family than we are to mine.

I always seem to pop on to these threads - think I may have some Ishooos to deal with (am pg and no idea if this is a boy or girl - maybe I'll be cured either way if baby can be born alive and the surgeons can rectify its urgent health problem so we can take him/her home)

mrsgboring · 17/02/2009 08:29

ellabella - plenty of vile "my mother" threads too.

threewisemonkeys · 17/02/2009 09:02

i try not to treat DD any differently from DSs, and i purposely don't dress her up like a doll (usually trousers & t-shirts as they're practical) but get the sense from mums with all-boys that I am somehow missing out on a big opportunity if I don't make her into a little pink frilly doll. she's a person and not there to fulfill some need in me.

PeachyHasABrokenKeyboardSorry · 17/02/2009 09:17

well two of my boysain't getting wives (one sn and one gay) soI'm ok there

and the other tewo (and indeed the gay for a DH / DP) have been instructed to marry orphans.

Squirdle · 17/02/2009 09:17

Now you see mrsgboring, I make an exception in your case...definately. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter and I absolutely know that if I had given birth to girls after my son, then I would no doubt feel like you do.

It's totally different in lots of ways when you have lost a child.

Squirdle · 17/02/2009 09:19

We are far closer to DH's family than my own too. My mother is a nightmare!! I know that I will always be close to my boys, I still am very close to DS1 and he is 15.

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 20:10

squirdle i meant young to have such an old ds!

independiente · 17/02/2009 20:26

Mrsgboring, agree with a lot of your post. And sad to read about yours and Squirdle's firstborns. Maybe it's a total failure of understanding in me, but I just really really don't get the 'I wanted a girl, so I could dress her in nice clothes' etc. And to think that anyone could be devastated not to have a particular gender... my brain just can't understand it.

chegirl · 17/02/2009 20:53

I so so so want a girl.

I have 3 beautiful wonderful boys and I love them so much.

But I had a wonderful girl and she died. I MISS having a girl. Another girl would never replace my darling girl but I MISS having a girl.

I am very well aware of how lucky I am to have my children. When I was pg with my DS3 I wasnt at all disapointed he was a boy. It was a year after the death of my DD and TBH I was relieved. It was other people who seemed to be disapointed on my behalf.

But I am being totally honest and I want another girl. Its not just about the dressing up and the girly stuff. I AM a girly girl and I do love that stuff but for me its because I feel I have so much to share with a daughter and no outlet. I wanted to be the mum to my daughter that I so desperately wanted and didnt have. I had a chance for 14 years and I miss it so much it hurts.

chipmonkey · 17/02/2009 20:57

chegirl

RiaParkinson · 17/02/2009 22:23

oh chegirl xxxx

Squirdle · 18/02/2009 19:50

Oh chegirl, that is very sad (I think I remember you from another site BLSG?)

Like I said before, in your kind of case it is understandable...definately!

Squirdle · 18/02/2009 19:51

What a stunning beautiful daughter, chegirl!!

chegirl · 18/02/2009 21:20

Thanks for your messges. Didnt mean to hijack. Hi squirdle not sure what site you mean, I am on a few so its poss. Wracking my brains but cant work out what the initials stand for