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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that going on holiday without your DC and not taking them on holiday at all is selfish?

242 replies

christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:12

I know I will get shot down.

But.... I know a few parents who go on holiday without their kids (I mean abroad for weeks at a time) and then their DC don't go on holiday at all! AIBU to think this is selfish.

OP posts:
IllegallyBrunette · 13/12/2008 23:13

YANBU

Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake · 13/12/2008 23:15

depends on age of child. Young ones won't notice. Older ones may be going away with Cubs/Scouts/ School

We are putting our foster daughter in respite for our wedding anniversary - don't really think we're being selfish

Original poster
christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:16

Well I am pretty sure these children won't be going anywhere and Cubs etc does'nt make up for a family holiday - if you can afford one.

OP posts:
UnfortunatelyMe · 13/12/2008 23:18

I dont think its selfish.
Better for them to go away and leave the kids elsewhere than for them to take them and be whinged at because they dont really want them there.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 13/12/2008 23:18

Sounds odd. Need more detail though.

Lauriefairyonthetreeeatscake · 13/12/2008 23:20

Yep, I don't agree. Parental relationship very important. If you spend a lot of time together gelling as a family in normal life, a week away from your children could be very beneficial to your relationship.

Longer, maybe not, but then again who am I to judge.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 13/12/2008 23:20

UnfortunatelyMe, why would you not want your kids to be on holiday with you? Assuming OP is talking about The summer holiday, not a special weekend away for a major birthday or anniversary or something.

UnfortunatelyMe · 13/12/2008 23:21

Because I spend the rest of the year with them?
Sometimes you DO need a break.

Original poster
christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:22

mary - I am talking about the main holiday of the year. I think it is fine to go away without you DC but they should have an opportunity of a family holiday too.

OP posts:
Original poster
christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:22

But DC benefit froma holiday too!

OP posts:
UnfortunatelyMe · 13/12/2008 23:24

Yes, but only if the parents WANT them on the holiday, they arent going to benefit from anything if they are a whinging annoyance.
They would be better off staying behind with grandparent doting on them.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 13/12/2008 23:26

Me and DH went away without dd1. We came home with dd2, although we didnt know it at the time so it's safe to say that we had a good time. DD1 had a whale of a time being spoilt by her gp's. Getting took to flamingo land and having 'sleepovers' with her Aunt. Time together as a couple is essential for a happy family imo.

Tortington · 13/12/2008 23:26

i went away and left dh at home with twins. i went to tunisia.##twas bliss

Original poster
christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:26

I don't understand why any parent would'nt want their DC with them. The time you get on holiday is special and different from time at home.

OP posts:
MaryMotherOfCheeses · 13/12/2008 23:26

OK, let's be specific here.

Ages and weeks.

At 1 year it's ok to be away for a weekend?

At 10 it's ok to be away for a fortnight?

What do you think?

NB I'm in knots about spending four nights abroad without DS, who will be 8, for my 40th birthday. I just feel really odd going without him. I knwo that's not good. Just so you know where I am on this

Original poster
christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:27

But did you take your DC on holiday at some point in the year too?

OP posts:
MaryMotherOfCheeses · 13/12/2008 23:28

And when being specific, I mean without either parent. Children being left with father doesn't count. he is, I think, a parent and should be able to cope.

sunnygirl1412 · 13/12/2008 23:29

Almost every holiday we've had has been a family holiday, with only one exception.

For my 40th birthday, my dh surprised me with a trip to Egypt, for a week's cruise down the Nile. It was just for the two of us, partly because it was still in term time, partly because we couldn't have afforded to take them and partly because two of them were too young to go on the nile cruise.

However, it wasn't the only holiday that year - we had already had a two week family holiday where they'd had a great time.

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 13/12/2008 23:30

DD1 was 6 months old when I left her with her gp's for a week to have a holiday with my best friend. I was a single mum and the only one of my friends to have a child so I needed a break.

She was 18 months when I her left for a weekend to go away with DH after we just met and the last time we left her for 10 days when she was 4. She has been away with us and her gp's at different times. Since dd2 was born we haven't had any holidays, bar the usual five fays at center parks with my extended family.

nancy75 · 13/12/2008 23:30

dp and i went away for the weekend alone, but took dd on 2 week summer holiday and my parents also took dd to spain for a week. if we wanted to go on holiday by ourselves without having already taken/planning to take dd my parents wouldnt look after her! i wouldnt do it anyway, think its mean

Original poster
christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:31

I have'nt got an issue with parents going away without their DC - as long as Dc have this opportubity too!

OP posts:
bran · 13/12/2008 23:32

I used to plead to be left behind with my grandparents. Some children don't want to go on certain types of holiday.

I finally got my own way when I was about 12, I wonder if others judged my parents because I didn't go.

expatinscotland · 13/12/2008 23:33

YABU

Original poster
christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:35

I agree that IABU to judge but we all do it. It is something that has bothered me recently.

OP posts:
beanieb · 13/12/2008 23:35

horses for courses. If someone does that it doesn't make them a bad person or a bad parent.

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