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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that going on holiday without your DC and not taking them on holiday at all is selfish?

242 replies

christmasgrinch · 13/12/2008 23:12

I know I will get shot down.

But.... I know a few parents who go on holiday without their kids (I mean abroad for weeks at a time) and then their DC don't go on holiday at all! AIBU to think this is selfish.

OP posts:
mumof2222222222222222boys · 14/12/2008 21:53

We both work full time and the DSs (4 and 2) are in full time nursery. We've had 2 nights away together for weddings when DS1 was about 18 months, and last month. Also a night in Brussels and a weekend in Italy. They were fantastic breaks and I loved every minute of them, and felt really recharged. However, they all happened before I went back to work, and now although I wouldn't say no to a weekend away, I know I would feel a bit guilty.

As for holidays, we are lucky in that we go away a couple of times a year to France and teh children come and we all have a good time. I would feel a bit odd going without them for a week or so...but suspect that may change when they are older and have their own interest.

Fwiw, when I was 13 I was packed off to Ireland to family while parents went to Greece. I had a great time, but remember feeling a bit seen off!

lulabellarama · 14/12/2008 22:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

francagoestohollywood · 14/12/2008 22:16

2 hours?

moondog · 14/12/2008 22:27

I don't beleive in 'honeymoons' for peo-le with kids.

WalkinginWaynettaWonderland · 14/12/2008 22:33

Oh for crying out loud.
Firstly it is "haven't", "don't". "doesn't" - the apostrophe goes where the missing 'o' is.
Secondly, is it really going to traumatise a child if they don't go "on holiday"? Really? No, I didn't think so. So long as families get to spend time together it doesn't matter whether it is a Saturday afternoon in the back garden, or two weeks in bloody Santa Ponza.
And as for a couple going away together - why the hell not?

WalkinginWaynettaWonderland · 14/12/2008 22:35

and lula - have a glorious 2 week child-free holiday somewhere in the Maldives - God knows I'm dreaming of such a one!!!!

nappyaddict · 14/12/2008 23:10

My friend's parents have a villa in Florida. Next summer I am going there on holiday. We might go to Disney we might not. I expect Disney with young children isn't much fun if you want to go on all the big rides.

Earlier in the year I went to Alton Towers. No doubt DS would have loved all the kiddy rides but he isn't old enough to enjoy it properly yet and I went without him. Besides there wasn't room for him in the car.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 09:08

Haven't read many of the posts on here, but I agree with you, OP. I don't know why anyone would want to go away for weeks without their kids. I don't know why anyone would want to go away for a week without the kids - but each to their own.
We haven't even had a night away from our DS yet. He's 20 months old. We just don't want to do it and don't feel the need for it. We have had plenty of nights out though.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 09:31

I know one set of parents who went away on holiday for a week and put their little daughter (she was only one or two) in nursery for that week, even though she was in nursery full-time anyway. Now I think that is really wrong.

babyloveschristmas · 15/12/2008 09:34

"I don't beleive in 'honeymoons' for peo-le with kids."

I agree.

Gateau · 15/12/2008 09:37

And me.

Original poster
christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 09:37

"Oh for crying out loud.
Firstly it is "haven't", "don't". "doesn't" - the apostrophe goes where the missing 'o' is."

{fgrin] oh dear.

OP posts:
Fleurlechaunte · 15/12/2008 09:38

Agree Gateau. Putting kids into childcare while on holiday with them just wrong and incredibly selfish imo.

Original poster
christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 09:39

I got married when my youngest was a baby and have not had a honeymoon, we have had family holidays - we could of had a honeymoon instead but we would'nt do that.

Have a honeymoon when your kids are old enough to look after themselves.

OP posts:
Original poster
christmasgrinch · 15/12/2008 09:40

Disney IS for children.

OP posts:
moondog · 15/12/2008 09:44

Anyone over 16 going to Disneyland voluntarily needs to be shot.
I know someone who married there (has no kids).
Wtf???

Fleurlechaunte · 15/12/2008 09:49

I was the one posted about Disney Land. I remember my Mum going on about neighbours and how they had saved up for a couple of years to go and wasn't it lucky the kids were old enough to stay home on there own in an admiring tone and me and DH just looking at her like this .

Fleurlechaunte · 15/12/2008 09:50

their own not there

DaidiNaNollag · 15/12/2008 09:59

SIL and BIL always went away without the children, year after year. I know her dd used to get very upset about it and used to try to get me on her side of the argument when she was 10 as she knew we always took the boys away with us. I do think it is hard for children if their friends are taken away when they're not.

nappyaddict · 15/12/2008 10:10

moondog - don't you ever go to theme parks? we probably will go to the water parks cos they look quite good. doubt we will do magic kingdom where all the actual disney stuff is though.

lulabellarama · 15/12/2008 10:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

muggglewump · 15/12/2008 10:42

I don't see why it's bad to put children in a club on holiday either. I know I would for several reasons. I'd want time on my own doing things DD would not enjoy, and most importantly for those of you who think it's wrong, DD is an only child, she loves playing with other children and she loves getting to do things without me.

Perhaps though, it's a compromise for some. They take the children with them, spend some time together and use clubs where the children are well looked after and happy the rest of the time?

francagoestohollywood · 15/12/2008 10:48

Gosh moondog you must have all the aspects of life all mapped out, if you even have an opinion on honeymoons and children
I don't agree with you on this (though I agree with you on Dinseyland), I think it is perfectly fine to go on a honeymoon without your children, if you have relatives or friends with whom the children are happy to stay for a few days.
Personally, among my fondest memory of my childhood is the time spent in the countryside with my lovely grandmother. With no parents around (well they weren't on holiday, they were at work, but never mind).

tiredemma · 15/12/2008 10:50

We do lots of things with the kids

We also do lots of thigs without the kids

Wouldn't go to Disney without them though.

francagoestohollywood · 15/12/2008 10:52

That summoned up my thoughts perfectly tiredemma

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