To think that going on holiday without your DC and not taking them on holiday at all is selfish?

[christmasgrinch]

I know I will get shot down.

But.... I know a few parents who go on holiday without their kids (I mean abroad for weeks at a time) and then their DC don't go on holiday at all! AIBU to think this is selfish.

"you lot"?

Sigh. Meaning many people on here. They take EVERYTHING so seriously.

I see.
We obviously have differing definitions of "winding people up".

Bit late with this.

Now my DCs are older I could do it I suppose. When they were younger I wouldn't even have considered it. However I would always want to have some sort of holiday with the children too. A bit of relaxed time doing nothing in particular as a family is important.

My SOH is alive and kicking, Gateaux, despite 16 years in Germany. They do say that sarcasm is the lowest form of humour though, so perhaps I am just not tuned in for your jokes.

You might like to take up knitting if you are bored rather than winding people up

I don't really understand why people feel the need to be quite so unpleasantly judgemental. I suffered absolutely no harm from not going for walking holidays with my parents when I was small. In fact I would argue that I suffered from more harm going on the said walking holidays when I was considered old enough to do so . Adults and children sometimes like to do different things, and so long as they are all happy about it, it really is not a big deal.

Mme you need to ignore Gateau. She just likes winding people up. Apparently this is a good laugh

Pedantic, mois?

If we're being truly pedantic, it's moi - sorry franca.

damn french

Everyones different but for us we are a family so have family holidays.

We went to Alton towers this year with a friend and took, between us, 2 2yrs and a 4mo. The kids loved the small rides, watching the big rides, eating the hotel food (it has it's own ice cream bar in the buffet) and the water park. It was the first time my 4mo dd had been swimming and she adored it.

Yes dh and I would have loved a few hours on our own at the water park but we chose to have kids after all.

I don't feel at all guilty about going away without DD. I usually spend a weekend away from her once every couple of months, although only 80 miles away. Of course I miss her, but she has fun regardless & is well looked after.

I would really love a holiday without dc, actually

For several years we went away (nearby) without ds1. He's severely autistic and tbh we all needed a break (ds2 and ds3 too). Anyway the type of holiday we did (stayed in a yurt for a week 1 year, posh cottage another year- both times he was wetting the bed daily on purpose) couldn't have been done with ds1 at the time. He stayed with my parents and had a whale of a time.

We don't really go away with ds1 for more than about 3 days as it's too exhausting.

oh my goodness, i think the idea of a honeymoon is lovely and important even if you have children.

my mum went on a honeymoon when i was small and i'm so glad she did. if she had decided not to because she had a small child i would have been so disappointed for her.

she's my mum. she's also a wife, a daughter, a friend, a woman. i want her to feel fulfilled in all her roles. my mother is a fantastic and dedicated parent.

there are parents who do terrible things to their children and damage them. my mother having a bit of time for herself and going away on a holiday, even if i missed her a few times, was never going to damage me long-term.

lulabellarama i hope you have a fantastic wedding and honeymoon.

oh my goodness, i think the idea of a honeymoon is lovely and important even if you have children.

my mum went on a honeymoon when i was small and i'm so glad she did. if she had decided not to because she had a small child i would have been so disappointed for her.

she's my mum. she's also a wife, a daughter, a friend, a woman. i want her to feel fulfilled in all her roles. my mother is a fantastic and dedicated parent.

there are parents who do terrible things to their children and damage them. my mother having a bit of time for herself and going away on a holiday, even if i missed her a few times, was never going to damage me long-term.

lulabellarama i hope you have a fantastic wedding and honeymoon.

oops

mumof2andabit - if you go to a theme park with other parents then you can take it in turns to watch the children whilst you go on the bigger rides though.

i think it is good for parents to have time out and go on holiday/weekend away and be hubby and wife and not mum and dad

i do a lot of proxy parenting 24hr care for families who like to have a break whether it is a weekend away, or a week skiing/sun etc

i acn assure you that the children are happy in their own home or mine and if young as long as they get loved, fed and cared for, they wont mind who

older children think it is a treat having me to look after them and some parents ring each night to say hi, some dont, if they think they will upset their child -age depending

i always send texts daily to say all is fine/what we have done etc

my family went away this weekend for some me time and xmas shopping, my charges were THRILLED that i stayed and slept at their house, they came to see my hamsters and we played and had fun - more fun then being dragged round shops in london

but yes if parents go away alone, think they should also have a week away as a family as well

I went away with dh, just us, when dd was 15 months. It was lovely. She was too young to know what was going on. She was having a holiday of her very own with her nanny and grandad and she had lots of fun doing things with them. That year we did not go away as a family.

I don't see the problem. I can sort of see why it's odd with older children, but not younger ones.

It's all about personal choice.

I did find it odd when BIL/SIL went away without their dc for a week(dc were 8 and 9ish at the time) because their dc are much older and had never been abroad. I thought it quite sad that they didn't take them. I know that sounds hypocrytical(excuse spelling) but when my dc are that age we will most definately go away as a family. ATM dc are 4 and 1 so holidays are not exactly relaxing. We've decided to stick to UK based/young child friendly places for the nest few years, then venture abroad again. Doesn't stop me yearning for a holiday with just dh in the sun and if I had the cash and babysitters i'd book us a week for next year.

That is sad about your BIL/SIl not taking the kids. I can't understand that myself.

I would find it odd to NEVER have family holidays, but I would also think its odd to have nothing BUT family holidays.

I hear a lot about children's 'needs'. Yes, a child's 'needs' are a priority. But a child's 'wants'? Not necessarily. They have to queue up like the rest of the family. It is important that everyone gets what they want occasionally, but if there is someone who is always getting what they want when other's aren't, then that is entirely unfair.

I haven't yet had a holiday without my DS, but I have a friend who is itching to get my DS away from me for some 'holiday time'. We have tried a few evenings, and my DS had such a fabulous time with his 'aunty' and 'uncle' that he barely noticed we were gone. I can see us trying a 'sleepover' fairly soon, and then trying a 'weekend' and seeing how DS is.

Haven't read al, the posts here, Madmarg but not everyone is talking about a child's wants as the reason not to go on holiday without their kids. A lot of people on here simply don't WANT to go on holiday without the kids.

I hav read all the posts, and some people are going on about children's needs and wants!

Some people may not want to go on holiday without their children, some do. Some children want to go on holiday with their parents, some don't.

Families NEED to spend time together, but they don't NEED to always go on holiday together.

I'm not speaking for anyone else, but as far as my family is concerned, yes, we do NEED to always go on holiday together.
I feel it's important for us to spend time having fun with our DS in a different, relaxed environment away from the constraints of work, housework and other mundanities and stresses.

But it's not just a NEED, it's also a WANT.
As a child we spent ALL our holidays together as a family and I have only cherished memories of them. My parents would never have dreamt of leaving us although we loved our GPs dearly and would have stayed with them happily.
My Dh rarely went away with his family and I do think he feels a little deprived. But hey, each to their own.