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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that teenage mums should be given a break.

246 replies

Daisy15 · 12/12/2008 22:40

People are forever ranting on at me for having dd too young as if i don't already know it. Just wish i could shut them up ... any suggestions on how to do that?

Thanks

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 12/12/2008 22:41

You could tell them you wanted to be able to go partying with her when she is old enough how old were you btw?

MistleSQUONKandWine · 12/12/2008 22:42

you say... "ah, time will sort that one out"

then you close your mind to their petty mindedness and get on with living your life, the way you want to.

They are very rude to rant at you

Original poster
Daisy15 · 12/12/2008 22:43

I was 15 when i had her. And omg i'd love to see their reaction if i turned and around and said that.

OP posts:
moondog · 12/12/2008 22:43

By all means.
When they are able to support themselves and their children and not expect the state to do so.
Do you support yourself and your child Daisy?

MistleSQUONKandWine · 12/12/2008 22:44

Tell them you're a shoe-in for Glamourous Granny at Butlins when your kids start having kids

nappyaddict · 12/12/2008 22:45

take it she wasn't planned then lol. if you had been a bit older when you had her i was going to suggest you say i planned to have my dd at that age. do i rant at you for planning to have your children when you did?

Original poster
Daisy15 · 12/12/2008 22:47

Well no i don't really support myself and dd... i get money from the EMA and i have a saturday job.

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 12/12/2008 22:47

erm moondog she's 15... how can she support herself she's still at school! that was a bit of a silly question!

nappyaddict · 12/12/2008 22:48

i thought you didn't get ema til you went to college or 6th form?

moondog · 12/12/2008 22:49

Well ,there you go then.
People are irritated at having to pay for your stupidity. I am.

MistleSQUONKandWine · 12/12/2008 22:49

she said she was 15 when she had her baby.

She doesn't say how old her dc is now.

The child may be 7 for all we know

nappyaddict · 12/12/2008 22:49

But she would get ema anyway ... whether she had a child or not.

MistleSQUONKandWine · 12/12/2008 22:50

moondog - are you irritated by having to pay for our family too, since dp stupidly lost his job in August?

jingleMAMADIVAsbells · 12/12/2008 22:50

My mum was 16 when she had me and I have to say we have the most fun now and when I was at school all of my friends wished their mums were like mine!

My mum and I go out partying all the time now and we go shopping and things although everyone thinks shes my sister

Shes 38 and I am 22 BTW.

Moondog it's not just teenage mothers who 'don't support themselves and their kids' I am 22 and work PT with my 2.5YO DS.

I have friends in their 20's and 30's who have kids at school but dont work. Do you give them a hard time too?

Quattrocento · 12/12/2008 22:52

I agree with Moondog. Fine for teenagers to have as many children as they want providing of course that they are financially and emotionally equipped to take care of them properly.

jingleMAMADIVAsbells · 12/12/2008 22:53

Daisy how old is your DC?

My DP's little sister has just turned 18 and she has a 4YO and 2YO.

Wasn't through stupidity it was through being young and naive believeing she could cope which she always has done but could have been a bit older.

tiredsville · 12/12/2008 22:53

Oh leave the girl alone. I am irritated by paying for many things but I don't think it's nice to attack someone this young.

moondog · 12/12/2008 22:54

If people support themselves, I don't care what age they are or what they do.Similalry,if people lose their jobs, it is right to offer them support.I do however object to supporting feckless youngsters who have babies ridiculously early.
I have a relative who has done so.
Unfortunately.

nappyaddict · 12/12/2008 22:54

i think she's only about 4 months old.

Original poster
Daisy15 · 12/12/2008 22:55

I suppose you're right jingle but at this moment in time i can't hide the fact that it isn't good for me to have a baby. Some relatives abroad came to visit about a month ago and i've never felt so disgusted in myself the way they spoke about me.

Just to clear up things DD is only 6months.

OP posts:
moondog · 12/12/2008 22:55

And who the hell wants a mother who 'parties' with them?
That's what friends are for.
A mother should act like a mother (and hopefully help her dd to not make the smae silly mistakes).

Mamazontopofsanta · 12/12/2008 22:55

you say

"your right. but since my baby is already here i am doing my best to bring her up as best i can, just like you are with your own children. unless you can point out to me where it is exactly i am going wrong could you kindly shove your head back up your arse where it belings you rude and ignorant twunt"

and then you make sure you always have concoms and don't have another child until you have completed yoru education and are in a better position with whcih to raise the child.

ra29 · 12/12/2008 22:55

mmm moondog what a nice kind hearted person you are....
Your life must be so easy with such a clear and simplistic way of understanding the world. No tricky grey areas for you....

nappyaddict · 12/12/2008 22:56

oh sorry daisy i thought you said on a different thread she was born in august.

moondog · 12/12/2008 22:57

oh no, there are plenty of grey areas in my life, as there are in all our lives.That's not the point. I don't however expect other people to fund my mistakes.

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