AIBU to think that teenage mums should be given a break.

[Daisy15]

People are forever ranting on at me for having dd too young as if i don't already know it. Just wish i could shut them up ... any suggestions on how to do that?

Thanks

Was askinga genuine question BTW Daisy just because you said that.

LOL at star and gingerbread.

At the end of the day she is looking after her DD more than some 20/30/40 year olds are doing so what is the problem.

Its not just teens who dont work at least she is working towards something. I'd rather support someone who is working towards something than someone on the dole who has no intention of even looking for a job.

FWIW my mum had me at 17 and my dsis at 19. So she said, all she wanted was to be a mum. She died of a brain tumour aged 21.

She had a short life, but for that really brief time, she had the life she wanted. I would be horrified if my dd was pregnant at 16. But in reality that baby could be ME.

daisy, good luck. I hope in RL you have family are lovely and will help you out.

Pantofino

Paying for their lifestyle choices, as you put it, if really thought out could mean that these young mothers feel able to feel good as mothers, bring their children up to be happy and more able not to use your precious taxes themselves.

Troll or not, the attitude of some one here stinks, oh how lovely it would be, to be so perfect like you, and never make a mistake like getting pg young

Daisy, whether you are 15 16 14, is of no concequence now, if people want to give you a hard time they will find a reason, believe me if its not age they will go after something else. And as for you moondog, you should know better as a mother to speak to a young woman who has become a victim of her own stupidity, like she is a god damn pariah, you sound like a really bitter and twisted old lady.

As for taxes, Daisy I pay so bleeding much money to the government I am happy for you to have my share.

Daisy, stay strong, stay focused, and you can do anything you want, and if people don't like your age, they obviously have nothing else to bother about in their boring little existence.

Its a big deal being a mum when you have a bit of life experience behind you, so being a teenage mum must be harder, so in answer to your question, its time to grow up, you are a mum now you don't get time off or a break from anything, its a hard lesson, but you can and will be ok.

Moondog what do you suggest these young girls do once they find themselves pg and unble to support themselves?

You know people make mistakes, and young girls get pg by mistakes, yes there is a lack of education in this country, but stating the obvious doesnt help once the deed is done

So what do you reckon? abortion? adoption? cos yes, is so easy to make that decision once you have a child growing inside you isnt it, get rid and be done with it. And then you dont have to support them

Cote, thank you. My mum died in 1973 - I think before a lot of people on here were even a twinkle. I feel so torn on this issue. On one hand, I think social circimstances almost encourage girls to have babies at a young age and think that is wrong.

On the other hand, I am the product of a schoolgirl mother! And I am so glad I'm here to take part in the debate. Only regret maybe is that my mum is not here to take part too - and by all accounts she was a bit feisty

I am sorry but there is no lack of education in this country. That is simply not true. If people choose to get pregnant very early that really is (mostly) a matter of choice.

Pantofino do you think you had an advantage with your mum being 17 when she had you?

But not all girls choose to get pregnant. Some teenagers are actually responsible enough to take precautions against it and still find themselves pregnant.

look just forget about it... i'm stupid, i just wanted to live like someone else. And yeah that sounds dead childish but i just hate the life im leading now. I don't suppose anyone will feel as awful as me.

Hmmmm "And yeah that sounds dead childish"

That my dear would be because you are a child.

But who chooses to have a baby at 15 do you think? The young girl who is confident and believes in her ability to go out and make an impact in the world. Or the lonely kid that feels they have no other future and are just desperate for someone to love/be loved by?

Of course this is simplistic but this goes far deeper than 'choice' or 'stupidity'.

Also these babies may not be 'mistakes' but desperate attempts to actually make a worthwhile life. There are many teenage mothers who do a very good job and many who need a huge amount of help. Perhaps we should also resent the children who end up in care as they too cost us money and are statistically more likely to go on costing us more money. Is that because they're stupid?

So your saying everyone chooses to get pg quattro?

People dont make mistakes then? contraception is 100% proof?

I certainly didnt choose to get pg, it was a coplete accident and a total shock, we are not all as perfect as you

And there is definatley a lack of education, how else do you expalin the high rate of teenage pgcy? because they choose to? erm no.

I was a 'teenage mum' I had DS1 at 18, was married but legally classed as a 'teenage mum' Am now nearly with 4 beautiful children, all fathered by my DH.

Ds1 is 11 next week and I think its great having him wheile I am young. I admit that I have found having Callum later on a bit easily, but DS1 and DD1 have disabilities so I can't really compare them

Daisy, Um not really in my case. Not as a negative point, as if she was still alive she would have been a "young mum". After 35 years, I don't think of her everyday, but do regret the fact so much that she never got to see her beautiful granddaughter - who i think is equally feisty.

My taxes go to support lots of things I don't like.

Young parents seeking to sort themselves out isn't one that I have a huge problem with, in the scale of things.

Yes, not good idea generally to get up duff as a teenager. But it happens.

(OP is obvious troll IMO, but doesn't change the argument).

Pant, it sounds like your mum gave you really good early mothering and that has stayed with you and probably influenced your capacity to look after your dd. I'm so sorry that you didn't have her for longer.

Your mum sounds like the iconic yummy mummy, Pantofino. You're daughter is lucky to have a mum like you who can open their mind a little from pass experiences.

Anyway must go offline. And thanks to everyone who posted comments.

yes accidents happen...

BUT what happened to PARENTS teaching right from wrong and imo having sex at 12,13,14,15 is wrong and in the eys of the law it is wrong.

I look at some teenage mums and wonder why they even are allowed to keep their children, and yes this can be said about older mums too. But a child is incapable of looking after a baby...a boy is incapable of being a dad, not a father but a dad.
We cannot go and blame society but PARENTS who have too little time to teach right from wrong.

Thats bullshit TLES, my parents taught me right from wrong, they taught me it was wrong to get pg young, infact its all my mother went on about when i was 13/14/15 but it didnt stop me getting pg at 17 by ACCIDENT, because they do happen ffs, and it didnt stop me being a great mother, i still went to university and supported myself

All descriptions of my mum were that she was a bit of a stroppy madam! (As opposed to yummy mummy). In fact, I met a friend of friend once who had a very brief affair with her, apparently! When we were introduced he got quite upset, as apparently I was the image of her. He'd wanted to see her when she was dying, but wasn't allowed. OMG - I have never talked about this before.

Vinegar re read what I posted i said 12, 13, 14,15....if you were 17 then you were over the legal age of consent.

But TLES i was still having sex at 15, and it wasnt because my parents didnt teach me right from wrong, it was because i was horny and full of hormones like most teenagers